Friday, June 21, 2019

Falling into the abyss of love

gazing into my reflection
trying to see what is underneath
my own gaze
trying to peer
behind the mirror
the searing gaze of love
melted all ideas of love
into a sea of primordial moon glow
naked in the summer sun

no one wears this nakedness
these echoes of echoes
reverberating through the vastness
there is no solidity to be found
nor emptiness to dance

lost as the looking
the watcher fell through herself
no one was left
not even an empty shadow
whirling down main street
dancing with her reflection in the darkened windows
playing in the carpet of reflections
splashing in the pools of echoes
and the street lights shimmering

edgeless beauty flows through me as me
I soar as this sea of magic pours into itself
featherless
wingless
skinless...
wind in wind
sky in sky
space in space
emptiness in emptiness

spinning dancing radiance
spiraling inward and outward
dissolving all sides
the middle slides into itself
and disappears
where are the stories written without letters or words
or sounds
...or silence

all of life shimmers in the tree tops dancing
in the wild winds singing
through these words the magic of love sings
all words write this story
this fairy tale of love
is that we are each other's stories
I do not exist alone
we emerge in the spinning of tales
sung by no one
sung by everyone
blooming and wilting
caressing and forming us
from the inside and out
these lines tell our stories
we do not exist without them
we are them

every word paints this dream time love song
love is inescapable
yet it is not even nothing
without these very words

my story your story
whose story is not beautiful?
I am a flowing tapestry of all the stories
ever heard and yet to be sung
or murmured late at night
from crickets hidden in the garden
feasting on fallen leaves
singing the stories of wind and trees and the growing darkness
shadows falling into their own shadows
our delicate bodies
and the tender wetness of our eyes
all singing
I love you


the great mystery you long to understand
to touch to feel to caress...
to have it caress you
is the edge-less-ness....
that cannot be found or touched or understood
it is everything and nothing
as there are no things
yet everything is included...

you sense this magic
for it is everywhere
and nowhere
it cannot be attained
or grasped
as there is no one separate from it
to reach it or hold it...
there are no 'its'

trying to grasp what has no words
with words
vowels held in your mouth
feeling the roundness slipping out...
the staccato of consonants rupturing
between the lips and tongue
seemingly capturing space
throwing lassos around the sun
slicing the sky into pieces
heaven raining through the cracks
flowers sprouting through the sidewalk

there is no pause to look for
no prior to words
nor after
there is no inside or outside to this love song
that sings itself

looking for the pause creates a looker
trying to peer under the alphabet you might find a nothing
which is a thing...
what is not even nothing?
what is emptiness
after you pour away the emptiness
what is love
beyond all ideas of love?

when all ideas are seen to be ideas
when all words are seen to be imaginary bites of sky
there is no one to look
under the words
no one to be free or bound by words
no one to escape the dream
as you are a fairy tale character
an imaginary center
a hologram
a magician's tale
writing itself
with learned shared words...

these words cannot speak of words
or wordlessness
but you know this magic that lies between the lines
you feel it deeply
yet fear it
for when there are no lines
when the song disappears
there is no you
no song
nor love

it is the unknowability of love
which we love
the unknowability of beauty
that is beautiful
the ungraspable nature of life
that is its magic
but you know that


seems I cry a lot since the shift... a friend enters the room and I weep at her beauty... it is like seeing her for the first time... but it is usually silent tear free weeping.... then she was telling me about her friend who is dying... I'm weeping hot tears...

my husband and I are watching a video on John Lennon..... weeping at the beauty, the magic of life and love... they show a village getting bombed... weeping....


....ahhhh the beauty of love and love lost, and the shadows flowing ... light into dark, dark into light... this streaming kaleidoscopic sound and light show ...this love ballet of this and that ... surreal and unreal at the same time....

our sublime humanness.... the knowing that there is no one choosing thought or feeling or belief or action,,,, no thinker no feeler no believer no actor, no conductor ...

we are all simply flowing thought dreams of belief and memory and preference and thought,,, all seemingly referencing a self, a center.... we are center less jewels who's spinning galaxies sometimes almost touch...

that we can never actually touch another is sorrowfully sublime... for when we get closer, our lines dissolve and we disappear... how I love falling into and through you... the swoon of being in love as love through love...

....there is simply nothing here... no one weeping ...no one singing... the huge marvelousness of it all.... no matter what it looks or feels like ...this blooming wilting miracle of life doing itself just like this....



wind rushes and swirls through the tall mountain pines
sweeps itself away
nothing is left
not even an echo
of wind magic
to whisper your name
or wave the long grasses
into a symphony of light and dark
swimming across the earth
all the way to the horizon
drowning in sky
such elegance of sound and silence
the lushness of words
pouring through themselves
without beginning or end
who would know
if they stopped
unless they started again?

words cascade into stories
weave an enchantment
within which someone seems to hover
in between the sensuousness
of love
and nothing at all
the love of everything
and nothing
suspends belief in words
yet disbelief is the song as well

there are no edges to this love song
it sings itself
tumbling whirling softly kissing color and shape
and sound
into this very world
that moves and flows in you
through you
as you

I watch your struggle to change or stop thought
or think in a 'correct manner'
or feel a certain 'right' way
or act more compassionate
or become a 'better' person
or get rid of the self
all based on the belief that there is a you
and a better you somewhere
this imaginary goal of perfection
is what you are

to me you are beyond perfect
including all your attempts to attain perfection
and I weep at your beauty
and this unfathomable beauty of love
it seems to form me and erase me
for without you
without this love
I am nothing at all

if you say 'I love you'
or 'you're beautiful'
all I can see is your unbearable beauty
for here
there is not even nothing
I am the echo of your reflection
weeping


and who is singing these words that bloom inside your skull?
who listens to this thunder that cracks the sky into pieces?
it is the song of the morning mists dissolving
the end of cricket song
and moonlight's caress of the darkness
the end of the night time dream
and the start of the day dream
bathing in the summer sun

sparrows and finches come to the feeders
robins perch on the rim of the ponds
singing a song I have heard since I was very small
some doves swoop into the yard
some of them stay on the tall wires
singing a song of my childhood
tires roll down main street
like ocean waves in the desert
trees bend and sway
all a flying carpet of shadows
and light
a magic show
this illusion of this and that
spontaneously appears

an explosion of sound
these words that seem to paint the day
and create a line between birth and death
morning and night
here and there
sound and silence
you and me

you cannot catch this ever arising
ever disappearing
fleeting momentary
your trying to grasp it
is it

that there must be something more
an answer to the mystery
a key to unlock the magic
is magical isn't it?
your sense that there is something to get
and someone to get it
arises from the feeling that there is something solid
and unchanging inside the swirling
but is there?
is there really anything other
better
more
or next?
have you ever found anything other than life as it seems to appear?

how could there be a wrong or right feeling
or thought
or belief
or action
if there really is no one separate from what is going on?
have you ever found that unchanging someone or thing?
or are you simply thought and feeling
flowing
with no source nor endpoint
nor middle ground on which to stand?

there is no path to where you are
when you are not
all ideas of more other better and next
are ideas
like you
what would happen if it were realized that this was it
always
just as it seems to appear
what ever this looks or feels like?

what if there were no next?
what if thoughts about a never arising next
were just that...
thought dreams?
what if thoughts about what you are
and what you are not
were just that
thoughts?

what if there were no separate thoughts?
can you tell when the beginning or end to a thought occurs?
...maybe you cannot because you are
this flowing fleeting thought dream
that has no movement nor non movement
no inside nor outside
no before thought or after
as all ideas of time dimension causality
all concepts of measurement
were made up
just like you?


Self is the thought stream believed, and the corresponding FELT sense of separation.... of separate things and separate moments and events...
You are not the thinker, there is none. You are the thought stream and the belief in it...
If you were the thinker and chooser of thought you would be able to choose them, yes? If there were a feeler of emotion you would be able to choose how to feel... If there were a conductor of life, perhaps life would be a bit different by now, yes?


where is the edge of the dream
as it slides down the rainbow
and breathes you
sings you
you are its light and color streaming across the vastness
of unknown worlds and stars and suns
and their absence

we are trails of emptiness
that leave no wake
or shadow
sky exploding into sky

the enchantment of love
exhales you
and all the known world
where all lines are imaginary
lassos around a piece of sky
falling shards of shattered mirrors
all reflecting your face
that you cannot see

hollow dreams of moonlight dancing
suspended in between light and shadow
reflected light of a million forgotten suns
gathers and swirls into this dreamtime ballet
waltzing with its own echo
in love as love through love
we emerge as the dance

a chorus of everyones voice
pouring from a nautilus shell
sounds like infinite oceans
breathing
sounds like endless stars
falling
sounds like the unfathomable wondrousness of love
singing


Long arm of light

Reaches Into the canyon

Soft blush of morning

Paints your tenderness

With love’s reflection

What is far

What is near

When there is no middle nor edge

Who sings the sky

And wind

And our sublime aloneness...

This ache for an echo

Is love

There are no shadows

In a world without lines

No music

In a world without love

This song sings itself

Pours down the canyon it paints

Falls through it own melody



we are rippling melodies of silence
breathing
inseparable from the song
we are echoes of memories
the lilting dance of a leaf
falling
after the wind has passed

the slow drift of warmth
as morning pours through the canyon
undertones swirl through overtones
love's heart magic
sings itself
pierces you with its resonance
every word pulses with this knowing
that all words are assumptions
waltzing with their own reflections
spiraling daydreams
cannot catch your hovering beauty
love held in its own hands
sky suspended in sky

the sensuousness of wind
swirling through wind
kissing our tenderness
drying our tears

this heartbeat of love
pours through rhythmless rhythms
unfathomable depths of darkness
explode into a million suns
space falls through space
clouds begin to form and dissolve
sun weeps
bathing in its own warmth
love weeps
at its own tender beauty
we weep
knowing the unfathomable nature of love


there is no one playing a part,,,we exist only as imaginary personas, masks... this is not pre written, life does itself... there is no source or doer or maker of life...

there is no other universe... but what people intuit and long for... this mystery... is really the sublime unknowability of all this...

they long to capture to understand.. when there are no separate things to put together into some kind of understanding.. and no one to do so
and all trying to capture the magic... is magic
yet creates the feeling of a someone... and a goal...


Everyone knows of this seamlessness in an intuited way
Deep down...

unicity is intuited, and conventional knowledge is conceptual.
Made of separate things and events
Putting them together into compositions that seem to create a feeling of completeness or understanding
Seekers long to capture or create what is already the case
Unicity or seamlessness or wholeness and it is very painful
All these are leaned concepts
The looking simply spirals into a beautiful story of unrequited love...
with a central character hunting for what they already know, but cannot face ....as it is too scary...
for if there were no things, there would be no them
no others...
all they have loved simply imaginary personas... tears... just too much sorrow....

which becomes a sublime sorrow and a love beyond all ideas of love...

simply put the magic they seek is already here
as there is no here nor there
it is already you
although there is no you
nor me
nor love...




when this is discovered... all seeking stops
...love sings in your own voice
'I love you
I've missed you
welcome home'


Self is the thought stream believed, and the corresponding FELT sense of separation.... of separate things and separate moments and events...
You are not the thinker, there is none. You are the thought stream and the belief in it...
If you were the thinker and chooser of thought you would be able to choose them, yes? If there were a feeler of emotion you would be able to choose how to feel... If there were a conductor of life, perhaps life would be a bit different by now, yes?


Seekers are the looking for certainty
knowing deep down there is none
That there is not even Nothing to be solid and stable and fixed
No hand holds whatsoever
No god
No source
No awareness
No consciousness
No self
No true self
No ground of being
No one to fall
No where to land
....no safe place in a storm
No where to hide from this feeling of unease

Unknowing is disquieting
when there is the belief that what’s going on can be known
and captured and understood
creates a painful conflict with the feeling that nothing can be known
That nothing can be done to know
and that there is no one to know...
And no one to do or not do anything or nothing to realize that



tall white clouds pour down the canyon
growling black ones follow
folding light into dark
dark into light

wind swept
canyon breathes
mountain air
pours into the hot desert

loosens ends of my hair
tears silken spider webs
cottonwood leaves tossing
falling
falling
swirling dancing
wings
illumined by the last rays of morning
shine and shadow playing
drifting down the trail
through my feet
my breath
my heart
this song

whorls and swirl of wind
mark my fingertips
fading as I age
this song fades
as soon as it is written
paints a dream of wind
as it flows through itself

life dances
in us as us though us
no one writes this song
it sings itself
with every word
that breathes us
phantom shadows
dancing in each other's light
each other's love

we are echoes of wind
tides
rising and falling
on a shoreless sea of dreams


the beauty is the knowing that we cannot know what beauty is... such love for not knowing what love is... such a sublime breathtaking wondrousness that we are amazed at amazement... the unspeakable unfathomable nature of this aliveness... we cannot get away from it or outside of it to capture it or embrace it with words... as we are this beauty this love this aliveness ... we can never see our own beauty... we do not exist without each other.... when you say I love you, you're beautiful there is simply nothing here... or there... simply shimmering reflections... echoes singing... we can never touch as it is our imaginary lines that define us... as without them we disappear into each other... I love you is an echo shimmering dancing with its own reflection


earthen silken silence
of clouds and sky and seamless morning
of wind and trees and waving grasses
of rain and tears and the porch light dripping
my husband sawing on the back porch
the click of the keys of my laptop
tires through the puddles
sky swims in its reflection
waves of sorrow and joy rippling
sing the song of morning
bursting into bloom
just as it wilts
the song of love and love lost
breathes the morning into beauty
and weaves us into love's gentle caress 

our hands our feet our delicate fingertips
our tender hearts
the wetness of our eyes 
our breath our hearts our love
meet in this song 
where we can never touch
but dance 
in love as love through love
life dances us into it's song
by singing itself
just like this




Words echo in my chest
Color the sound of moonlight dancing
Sweep the beaches where no one wanders
Or listens to love songs from empty shells
She no longer waits for her long lost lover
Lost as the love song of no tomorrow
Echoing in this heart
That no one wears

Words sign the ocean with waves 
Of sorrow and wonder and joy
Sing primordial songs 
That no one hears
But everyone feels 
Weaving deeply as the grain in wood
Signs her name with indecipherable clarity
Light dances on water 
Flowing in formless patterns
Their stories can never be told...
But everyone knows them 
We are these stories 
Of love and love lost 
And the ageless beauty of death
These love songs etch eons of rivers into canyons 
And taste the saltiness
Of sea and wind and tears

Wind has no time
It’s song is the rivers laughing 
Tall pines shimmering
There is no before or after
Only the song of our hearts 
No one sings alone
I am your echo
And you are mine 
We dance 
Step-less
As dreams of wonderment 
Exploding and imploding 
Greater than infinite 
Closer than intimate
Yet no song can touch it’s shadow

Afterimages with no source
Resonate these heart strings
No one plucked or stroked them
We are the music 
The chorus 
Of one of two of many 
Of none 


Moonlight floats on the surface
Peers into its reflection 
Thoughts are echoes 
In a dream 
of a dream 
of a dream

I don’t want your naked heart
I don’t need to see it or hear of it 
I know it always
as it is not yours or mine
Raw naked unadorned 
We dance as silvery moonlight
On the beach of no tomorrow 

No one resides within this dream 
Or swims down this river of thought
Of love 
Of blood
Pouring down the streets
Floodlight of shadows
Dance with their reflections
Night swallows darkness
Pouring light into a paper cup
Words adorn the edges
That no one can read
Somehow our lips mouth the words 
As we all drink deeply
We are this unquenchable thirst 

Written in between never and forever
The middle collapses
Notes slide off the staves
Pages dissolve into music
Words condense into breath
Into sound 
Into silence
Endless seas of echoes 
Of echoes 
Of echoes 
Of echoes 
Bathed in moonlight’s gaze
Shimmering without time or place
Eternity slid down the rainbow 
And drowned in my tears
Tomorrow has no pockets
No place to hide itself
No promises to fulfill 
Hope lost her dance card 
And took the last train 
To an imaginary place called home 

The past is memory flowing 
No one stands on the banks
Gazing at her reflection 
I am just an echo
Dissolving into itself...


Popping up on newsfeed often is a reminder of how long I’ve been friends with someone 
And it always seems weird 
I can never remember not loving that person!
As there is no longer the belief or a feeling of an unchanging thing or self..
I am simply not even nothing 
The flowing ever emerging momentary...
Edgeless 
Seamless 
Beautiful 
Love




Singing nakedly 
Unabashedly
This love that sings me
Breathes oceans and clouds and endless skies
Words are love's heartbeat
You can hear them echo-locate
An imaginary center
Around which all and everything swirl

There is no one to animate 
This illusion of love 
Wind soars through wind
Not even breath remains 

Through the lens of this and that 
There is no one looking
No one to know or not
Simply this sublime beauty of unknowing 

Cricket song floats 
In ocean of moon
Darkness breathes 
The song of midnight
Suspended as love in love
I am the caress of night
Falling through the hush
Of yesterday’s golden sunset
Bathing in this sublime emptiness  
Of no tomorrow  

Pirouette of sky spins into endless skies blossoming
Weaving and unweaving shadows of lace
Sky needs no scaffold nor ropes upon which to hang
No pattern nor dance steps are written 
For the filigree of tree tops
To sway gently with the song of moon
Bathing the garden in the flowing carpet of light and shadow
Revealing the passion play
Of love kissing itself
From the inside out
Through our lips 
Life sings itself

Beneath autumn leaves
The scent of yesterday
Hides 
From shadows 
And light 
It is only a daydream 
Buried in the night
Where no one slumbers
Or dreams of edgeless skies


my lips move 
in this river of breath
what cannot be said seems to soar through the imaginary gap of silence and sound
trembles on the edge of the known and the imagined
blends them into this very kiss
that tastes the winged flames of desire
and melts my mouth with my own sensuousness
it is love without names
it is love without number
it is love beyond the reach of words
or song
singing itself through my lips
that have been eviscerated of all words
love has plummeted through all ideas of love 
I am consumed by the longing to sing of love
to all lovers
to all I have ever loved
and will love
and it is you
to whom I sing
and this singing
kisses us both 
into being
for what are we but this lover's dance
falling into the abyss of love

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

Can you feel your wings beating my heart?


how can I shape my lips my teeth my tongue
this mouth that cannot hold the roundness of vowels
or mimic the staccato of midnight crickets
which seems to embrace the dark
and fold hidden light into its unseen wings
spinning a song of familiar and foreign sounds 
that breath the ease of quiescence
that dance across this page
and resonate in your skull
and spark the fire of this magic of unknowing
this beautiful flame of love that burns itself

how can I sing of the softness of love
that flows through your very finger tips 
your skin
your eyes
your ears
this unformed sensorial display
this bounty of love
this feast of desire
this timpani of life
light and dark and wind and the longing the loving
the ache of unfathomable beauty
life flowing in you through you as you

it has no words yet is these very words
that punctuate that paint this edgeless stream 
into shape and color and sound and movement 
this shifting flowing web of words 
a sigh a whisper the caress of wind 
the scent of its softness

I want to distill a million suns into an elixir of light magic
that you can drink and find yourself intoxicated
with the day and night and the knowing 
that nothing can be known
that you are an imaginary point of light
in this star filled sea
a reflection of endless skies
soaring through endless skies
light and space and nothing at all
tumbling though light and space
and nothing at all

I want to fill every secret pore of your being with wonder
in love with the love of all and everything
knowing that there is no light or reflection
no love 
no beauty
without you 
a dream dancer of ephemeral beauty
without a center or edge
rushing tumbling waters pouring through deep dark canyons
sliding into unending seas
rainbows trembling between sea and sky and disappearing
into their own reflection
echos of moon slide through your eyes
and reveal love's heart magic
that has always pierced your beautiful heart
this love that was never yours
nor mine
as this love cannot be found
nor lost
nor held
nor given away



Words weave this web of mirrors
This enchantment that we are
Shifting transparencies
Slide through one another
Bloom and wilt
With no ground upon which to grow

Not even vast spaciousness
Or an expanse of one
Skin a word used to keep us from flying apart
Who resides in this head
This heart
These cells
These nouns and verbs
This pulsating light ballet

Fly away away away
Sighs the sun who whispers your name.
As she melts into her own light
This sensuous love display
Falls through your fingers
You disappear into words
Into letters
Into points of light
With no meaning or non meaning
Star reflections shimmering on a midnight sea
Up and down have lost their bearing
The compass has lost its magic
Home a word like love
That you cannot return to
As you never have left

Words are smoke signals across the canyon
Whispers in the dark
Messages in a bottle
You cannot read or understand
Trying to unfold their meaning
Pasting signs upon the sky
They do not lead or follow
Nothing signifies nothing
Love letters from the waves
Drown you
Submerge you in their emptiness

You emerge on the banks
Of a shoeless ocean
The faint cry of a seabird
Echoes fly through you
There is no vessel to hold the wind
Only words which seem to capture
And hold a center in the dream
Around which life flows
And beckons you to sing

Words paint color and flavor
Taste the thought dream in your head
Seem to take a snapshot
Of a mirror looking back...

These are not mine, nor are they your words
They etch sky with sky
Twirl us into this daydream
Of reflections on a river...

No one stands on the bank
Watching
We are this very flow of thought dreams
Of memories that echo on the sandy bottom
Afterimages swirling into whirlpools
Gathering in deep hollows
Hidden under the banks
Where shadows fall through their own darkness

the river weeps at her own beauty
slides back into herself
Love is a word painted on a mirror
falling through her reflection
Erasing all sides
Leaving not even a middle
Or a sandy shore
Where no one waits for her beauty
Walking along the shore
Sending smoke signals in the dark
They have always said, ‘I love you’
These messages that write themselves
With water on the waters
Within and without merely an illusion
This love dream that paints itself
And washes itself away....

it is the magic of life that has no edge nor form or space 
that has no center or sound or taste or name
that names itself as your lips begin to mimic the sound
of wind dancing through the deep dark forest
of tree tops flowing
leaves sparkling
morning birds singing
and bathing in the fresh air light

the sound of love's heart magic forms your belly
your heart
your lungs
your mouth
and sings your very breath into being

this breath that has no form
that no one breathes
until love sings your name
and beckons you
into this dream time dance
of one of two of many of none

love spinning the flowing web of words
that seem to separate sea from sky
and you from me
so that we may dance
in love as love through love
and gaze into each other's eyes
and see the echo of our reflection 
and say, 'I love you'


my story is everyone's stories
galaxies spinning radiating pulsing 
the heartbeat of this and that
light and dark
an embrace of nothing and everything
fullness and emptiness
fall through each other
not even nothing is left
we are love's memories
tattoos of wind
in wind

flowers slide off the tapestry 
woven with color and shape and sound
all words spin this echo land daydream 
tales of thunder
and deep deep kisses
and laughter rippling across the night time sea 

reflections slide into and through each other
expanding ever outward
and inward
weaving threads of light 
into this love ballet
a flowing fabric of time and shadows
dancing down the empty streets of time
echoing footless steps
the hush of wings
without feathers

carpet of moon flows through you
wind soars through a photograph of wind
resplendent light
above and below
earth and sky kiss in the middle
all and everything 
erased by this tsunami of love
reappearing as a love ballet
pirouetting into itself
can you feel your wings
feathers of light
beating my heart?



the sea of peace has no safe harbor
no one can sail there
as there is no distance to cross

this unfathomable mystery
the glorious un-nameable shore
that beckons you
does not exist

the sirens that pull your daydreams
and steer your dreams at night
will break your wildest dreams of love 
on the rocks of love

the mystery is that nothing can be known
as there are no things to know
nor anyone to know
that all the known world
of suns and moons and clouds
sliding across the vast expanse of sky
are simply ideas of separate things
painted by your brain

that there is a sailing vessel 
and wind
and a rudder
and a wheel
and someone to grasp it

that there is a direction
a goal to reach
and a someone to reach it
is simply a beautiful illusion
beyond which
nothing can be known
there is no beyond
nor before
nor anything to grasp
no ground of being
upon which to stand
nor anyone to stand there

yet here we are
sailing uncharted seas together 
doesn't the wind feel marvelous on your sun soaked skin?
how it plays with your hair just so...
how the sunset blooms so beautifully in your eyes
how I can see my reflection in your tears
and your reflection in mine...

watching the dolphins play in our wake
surfing the late afternoon glow...
we sail the ocean of love together
fire in our eyes
in love as love through love
we are this sea of dreams



seared by secret suns
drowned in unfathomable sorrow
love washed my shadow
in yesterday's winds

she wrung out every tear
until I thought I might die of lack of sorrow
and infused me with an endless supply
...it is love herself that weeps

it was never my heart that ached for love
never my shadow dancing on the canyon walls
just light and shadow waltzing
nameless
breathless
love has no name
not even mine

when you say 'I love you'
there is simply nothing here
not even empty space
I am not an empty mirror
there is no reflection without you
no love without two

knowing there is not two
nor even one
explodes all ideas of love

as she sweeps every shred of light and shadow 
into her empty breast
you find it is your own love
that swallows you whole
or consumes you piece by piece

it hurts like hell 
but always feels 
just right

when her dinner is done
she starts with the night
and does not stop
until there is no one left to die

I arise in the loving
knowing there is no one to love
to give it
or receive it
or bask in her reflection

we are dancers 
bathed in love's light
her shimmering echo
reverberates across the canyon walls
love has no source
but does not exist
without us



a mirrored glance
swallowed a million suns
fell through itself
burning

what swept me into my own reflection
to see that there was no one on either side?
faded photographs
peeling in the summer sun
ashes on the sidewalk
where I used to run bare-foot through the searing light
and cool cool shadows...
where I danced 
bathed in naked moon
second hand light
burning

there is nothing left
after this grand conflagration
it may be fast
or slow
words erase themselves
over and over
until the page is gone

no one wins this shadow land ballet
I never bought a ticket to this symphony of love
that plays itself
without words
or letters
without movement
or stillness
without music
or silence
or love


I am a swirling magic carpet woven from all stories... light twisting and turning around itself....
A golden mirror of iridescent threads...
Spinning a light dream of love 
There is no center.., or edge 
Or beginning 
...or end 
Yet I dance in timeless verses....
The rhythm of love’s memories echoing through the mind stream sing the story of me... a fairy tale character dancing on the edge of a feather 
Between love and nothing at all 💞


when it is known and felt that there are no things to be changing or permanent... no reference points whatsoever ...there is a sublime emptiness.... 

but the first glimpse of this can be horrifying... most slip into the cover of darkness... of belief and philosophy of what this is... no one chooses to face the void... or run away... but for some the void swallows all and everything.... including them....


I am not here to comfort seekers or give any kind of relief from pain 
Enlightenment is not about feeling better!

Anything said that might wobble the ideas the concepts the beliefs and assumptions that you are will hurt! 
And that’s what awakening feels like! It feels like dying!

As you are these beliefs, if they are challenged or the tool of using ambiguous phrases that leave the mind hanging 
With no where to go... 
to skip the thought stream out of habitual grooves...
puts a chink in the wall of assumed knowing...
let a little bit of unknowing, 
Of light in.....

When basic assumptions of who you think you are 
And not 
Become uncertain....

What is identity?
What are the parameters that define you?
What are you
What are you not?
Let’s seeeeeeeee
I’m kind 
Except when I’m not 
Ummmmm
I’m a calm person 
Except when I’m not....
I hate anger
Except when I like it....
I’m not like that 
Or her 
Or him 
Or them....
Or am I?

These thoughts define you 
Without thought you are not 
You ARE the thought stream... 

Inquiry does not cause the shift 
It is uncaused 
Yet if I can encourage the fire that’s already in your heart and block all the exits....
Well you’ll find it is your own flame that burns you 
And I had nothing to do with it.



you are a thin thread of certainty
tip toeing gingerly to the edge of the known world
what's over there?
what cannot be seen?
there has to be something better
something more
something other than this
....something!!!
someone who knows what the hell is going on!!!
some safe place to rest...
a harbor from doubt
a relief from the constant anxiety 
and fear 
of unknowing...
of death...

there has gotta be something to fill in the blanks
the unknowing 
that you fear
the big gaping maw of emptiness
of meaninglessness
that swirling feeling of being capsized 
of being adrift 
no steering 
no rudder
no sails
no wind
no boat
no sea to hold you up
no sky to embrace you
no familiar suns and moons
and stars to lead you to your home...

there is no one to return
to the home that no one left
you are a fairy tale princess
without a castle
clouds forming and dissolving
are more substantial than you
but you can see faces in the clouds
dissolving into sky
there is no sky
nor clouds 
without you

all hand holds are illusion
there is no one falling
all ideas are false
including truth
everything I say 
is a lie
painting the dream of separation
the only world we can know

we emerge in this dance of words
ideas playing in the thought stream
that has no beginning nor end
nor inside nor outside
no prior nor after...
but ends when the body and brain die
as you are this thought dream
you disappear as well
but then you never existed
neither did I 

we are imaginary lovers
dancers in this wind ballet
of wind pirouetting with wind...
sweeping across the wide open deserts
and up into the high mountains
carrying water and rainbows 
to weep among the clouds
surging into streams and rivers pouring into deep dark canyons
longing to merge with the ocean vast
and dive into the fathomless depths of love
where we disappear into each other
laughing and crying
wet in wet in wet in wet
sky in sky
light in light
space in space
everything into everything 
nothing into nothing


 I am not here to make you feel better
This is not about feeling better! This is about having all the beliefs about what you are and what you are not 
What the world is and what it is not 
All ideas of truth meaning and enlightenment being ripped apart 
And as you are those ideas, those beliefs, you are fighting mad,
As your very existence is being challenged.
And if those beliefs 
That wall of assumed knowing begins to fall it can be scary as hell and can feel like you are dying 
But as the light begins to shine through the cracks it also may feel good.... 
most however rush to the darkness of habitual belief 
Or find new philosophies to fill in the big maw of the void of not even nothing... that you fear 
And long for 

Love can look like a butterfly kiss or a lion’s roar 




If you are looking for optimum physical health you may just read a headline that gives you good news about your bad habits that says something like, ‘butter is back’, and go with that.  Or you may delve further and recognize that that study was done by the dairy industry you might discover that many studies are done by the meat and dairy and nut industry and find other scientific research that shows a low-fat plant-based whole food diet is best for optimum health, and for preventing treating and curing many diseases, and you might go with that.

If you are looking for psychological well-being something which is more subjective based on what people say how they feel before and after various things you may look around and find something that feels right and try that. 

If you are looking for something called enlightenment, you will find a teacher or method or practice that confirms the beliefs you already have about enlightenment. 

The most common ones would be that enlightenment happens to the person, that it is something that is achieved by a path or a method, that it is a belief or understanding, or that it is something you can get, or that it is something that can be taught or learned or given away.  

You might want to consider what is enlightenment? where did you get all those ideas about it? why do you want it?
do you imagine that is it escape from your thoughts feelings and actions or beliefs... and escape from your troubles and woes and escape from your beautiful human-ness?
Do you think that it is finding that you are not this little self but in fact you are something far grand.... a big self or pure consciousness or awareness or even... God?
Do you think it is about becoming a perfect person... selfless? 

If so, you will find teachers that confirm this.  there you will be on a path ...forever trying to improve yourself ....forever trying to fix that what you feel is broken ....all of these methods will confirm that you are broken, that there is something wrong with you, and that you must do something or cease from doing other things in order to get this elusive goal of imaginary perfection. 

I know without a doubt that you are beautiful beyond belief just as you think you are.  I know that you are not broken or flawed in any way.  I know you can never see that...
No one can see their own beauty...
And I weep 
I weep when I see you scratching at the walls that define you 
Trying to escape the most beautiful gift in the universe... yourself 💞



I am not enlightened.
No one is enlightened....
No one in the history of mankind has ever become enlightened.
If part of enlightenment is the realization that the self is imaginary, how could an illusion recognize that it is illusion?

Enlightenment is a profound shift in perspective that occurs in the brain, when it is realized that the world of this and that and things, and selves, and time, is its own mental fabrication, that ALL separation is imaginary.
this is not the end of the dream of objectified separation, in fact enlightenment is the dream as well, as it requires imaginary separation to recognize unicity.  It requires imaginary separation for the awareness of of aliveness... the awareness of awareness...

When imaginary separation is no longer believed, there is no longer the FEELING of there being separate things... or events... it is a life free from hope and fear and need of an imaginary next.  It is a life of the awe and joy of simply being... 

When the self is recognized to be illusion, the dream does not end... self does not disappear... It is known that this mentally fabricated worded world is the only world we exist in, that we are the dream, that there is no outside to the dream, as inside and outside, like all this and that is made up.  This is it, Coyote. This is it, what ever it looks and feels like.  

It never feels like life is happening to a someone or that a someone is doing life. It is known that no one including yourself is the instigator of their belief or feeling or thought or action... that we are all a swirling thought collage of belief and preference and memory.... 
I cannot find anything or anyone here... or there
We exist only as reflections in each other's beautiful eyes... 
We are the portals through which love and beauty enter the universe... 

It feels like a constant falling in love
like a continuous union of what was never apart
returning over and over to a home you never left
a recognition that the walls you were trying to escape, the self, is the greatest gift of all. 

That all separation is illusion doesn't mean the physical world does not exist. Some imaginary things refer to the physical world, like bodies and rocks and mountains.  Some imaginary things are purely imaginary like selves and tomorrow. Knowing that you and I and love are made up is not the end of love.... 
it is the beginning... 

it is colors and shapes... flowing... never caught, but seemingly held in the imaginary net of words, like color and shape... and movement...  

It is a wind ballet of wind in wind
sky in sky
light in light
space in space
everything in everything
nothing in nothing....

It is far more wondrous than I could have ever wished for or believed or imagined... yet it has always been on, simply never noticed.... and as this unicity is always the case, it cannot and need not be brought about anew.

No one knows how this profound shift occurs, but it seems to happen despite all the things people try to do to get it... as it cannot be got.  It is an empty prize for no one.
It is not a goal or achievement. All trying to do something or not do anything perpetuates the illusion of a doer, and a goal to reach, like trying to capture the ripples in a pond, all that happens is your hand makes more ripples...    

Yet it may happen that the path collapses, the ground collapses and every idea of a goal to reach and someone to reach it collapse. It is a ripping and shredding of all you have assumed to be true about yourself and the world including all ideas about enlightenment and truth and meaning and non meaning... and It hurts like hell because these are the imaginary lines that define you.

It is the end of belief in belief. It is like dancing on the edge of a feather between love and nothing at all.

In love as love through love
neither full nor empty
life doing itself
utterly spontaneously 
just like this


vast limitless edgeless.... when one tries to imagine this... like infinity.... the mind spins into a beautiful unknowing.... I would do this as a kid... I loved the emptiness....


Words weave this web of mirrors 
This enchantment that we are 
Shifting transparencies
Slide through one another
Bloom and wilt
With no ground upon which to grow

Not even vast spaciousness
Or an expanse of one
Skin a word used to keep us from flying apart
Who resides in this head
This heart
These cells
These nouns and verbs 
This pulsating light ballet

Fly away away away
Sighs the sun who whispers your name.
As she melts into her own light
This sensuous love display
Falls through your fingers
You disappear into words 
Into letters 
Into points of light 
With no meaning or non meaning
Star reflections shimmering on a midnight sea
Up and down have lost their bearing
The compass has lost its magic 
Home a word like love 
That you cannot return to
As you never have left


Words are smoke signals across the canyon
Whispers in the dark
Messages in a bottle
You cannot read or understand
Trying to unfold their meaning 
Pasting signs upon the sky 
They do not lead or follow
Nothing signifies nothing 
Love letters from the waves 
Drown you 
Submerge you in their emptiness

You emerge on the banks 
Of a shoeless ocean
The faint cry of a seabird 
Echoes fly through you 
There is no vessel to hold the wind
Only words which seem to capture 
And hold a center in the dream
Around which life flows
And beckons you to sing

Words paint color and flavor
Taste the thought dream in your head
Seem to take a snapshot
Of a mirror looking back...

These are not mine, nor are they your words
They etch sky with sky
Twirl us into this daydream
Of reflections on a river...

No one stands on the bank
Watching
We are this very flow of thought dreams
Of memories that echo on the sandy bottom
Afterimages swirling into whirlpools
Gathering in deep hollows
Hidden under the banks
Where shadows fall through their own darkness

the river weeps at her own beauty
slides back into herself
Love is a word painted on a mirror
falling through her reflection
Erasing all sides
Leaving not even a middle
Or a sandy shore
Where no one waits for her beauty
Walking along the shore
Sending smoke signals in the dark
They have always said, ‘I love you’
These messages that write themselves
With water on the waters
Within and without merely an illusion 
This love dream that paints itself
And washes itself away....