Half Away Tears

rain
all night
memories linger
but cannot breathe

ocean pours through itself and leaves no wake
or ripple
I am an echo of love
that has no sound
nor silence

I am rain songs falling
through all the yesterdays
that ever danced through me
in me
as me

wetness slides though wetness
we are water songs
echoes of love pirouette
spiraling outward
and inward
dissolving in an ocean of love

reflection songs fall through love's mirror
leaving not even nothing
not even love

we are imaginary sides
of love's reflection
liquid mirrors
dancing



Nothing but your own lips kissing themselves 
Sky kissing sky




songs of ancient shadows, promises of light, filled me and emptied me and poured me out until there was no knowing nor non knowing of this dream within a dream within a dream within a dream... 

love came from no where and everywhere and burned even the idea of love...

and who lay in love's funeral pyre but an idea of certitude?
...embraced and eviscerated by my own ideas of life
of death
of love
it was me who wore the necklace of skulls!

when the dream is no longer believed and imaginary separation is no longer felt 
still I waltz with life 
as it waltzes me

still I dance with death
as death dances me

still I am in love with love
as love is in love with me

I waltz with you through these love songs
that no one sings
it appears that my fingers slide over this keyboard
as the first robin sings in the early morning rain
as my reflection in the window fades into dawn...
and it appears that there is a someone who reads this missive of love... 
a someone who threw this note into the sea
and waits for a reply...
but there is no distant shore
no one walks these empty beaches
we are a dance of wind in wind

an empty bottle holds no letters, nor space, nor emptiness
the glass shatters as inside merges with outside
the imaginary middle slides into everywhere and no where
and it looks like love to me
and it feels like love to me

in love
as love
through love
life flows....



the entire story is no longer believed ....there is no one to take it personally or not.... knowing you are a fairy tale character does not end the character's humanness... there is no one to own or have emotion, it feels like joy and sorrow and love and awe have merged into a deep deep river without banks, overflowing...




your own sunset swallows you
and you are forever
golden




dreaming of dawn
a young boy sleeps
surfing waves of sky



and who could mend these broken shadows
traipsing across my doorstep 
I found no light that would mend all things
there were no things to be mended
nor one thing to be broken

love slides into love
and leaves no wake
nor shadow

echoes breathe
without sound
or silence
this dream sings itself
a pulsating scintillating dream of light and shadow
and colors 
blossoming
and wilting

it feels like love
breathing
in your empty chest

first bird sings in the stillness of rain
clouds descend into the canyon
mountains dissolve
yet I can feel them
hovering
slipping into the back beat of time

I am echoes of yesterday
blooming
and falling
into this very breath
that no one takes
or holds

time and distance were but a heartbeat away
meaning and non meaning lost their grip
my hand dissolved into seamless beauty
unraveling the present of endless
softness
falling
into itself

and who was drowned in this unfathomable ocean of love?
there are no beaches with footsteps crumbling…
winds dancing...
waves crashing...
no shore where a ship set sail…
or harbor in which to take shelter

no surface on which the sky can shimmer
or moon to gaze upon her own reflection
no darkness underneath these waves of love
nor sandy bottom where dreams can gather

no horizon to call...
no one to answer




what is inside the word sky
what is outside?
laying in the long summer grasses
stars falling





how can you meet this ever flowing
self arising self erasing momentary
where is the line between you and the wind?

is it your tender skin?
your heart?
or is it only words that seem to encapsulate the wind
and your heart
and keep it from flying apart
dissolving the lines between who you thought you were
and what you were not
but could never find







spring green is filled with sparrows and yellow finches
but I cannot find them
yellow flashes punctuate the afternoon
as these very letters pour color into love's daydream

I am the gentle murmuring of all your beautiful stories... 
waves of softness lapping on the shores of an edgeless sea 
love songs singing themselves with wild abandon
never needing words or silence to be heard
love swoons into itself 
and you are caught in your own embrace
as you fall through
the falling
arms
hands
fingers
dissolve into wings
into sky
into space
into not even nothing
love flows in
where it has never left
our names are its signature
the script unwinds the wind
with which it was written

we are love's colors
love is its own wondrous adornment




dissolved in moon

half away tears

paint your cheeks

with love songs



this silence of infinite echoes
sings
in a million foreign tongues
unknown and yet haunting familiar

you try to grasp the words
and fall through them
you try to hold the magic
and fall through yourself

this sea of illusion
cannot even be called illusion
or a mystery
or the unknown
without a hand to grasp it
or a mind separate from it
to see it...

love cannot see itself
or know itself
it is love
itself

we are imaginary echos falling in between space and time
drowned in this dream of love dreaming love
love sings itself and its song
is love





time flows through a mirror and erases its footsteps
and the promise of an other side
evaporating the middle ground
dissolving the dance...
there is no one to lead
or follow...
no two to merge
nor one to fall apart
love is an empty dream
falling through itself

night time dreams fade as dawn approaches
pouring starlight into those small white flowers
you never learned the name of

shadows surge and ebb in the wake of moon
carving ripples in your empty chest
as the inside of your ruptured heart spills out
the universe rushes in

love is its song
tears the medium
we are shimmering reflections
the wetness in each others eyes
liquid light
blooms
and melts into
this
very kiss






when the dream tightness the noose on itself and the feeling of separation is complete, then there is a vague remembering of the deliciousness of lostness... of unknowing ...of being suspended in and as seamless beauty, but as that is not a "knowable" objectified state, it cannot be pinpointed and it becomes a longing for a long lost lover you never met...



I am an imaginary echo between space and time 






dream of light blooms
ignites the dream of darkness
fire of love consumes even itself...

enlightenment is a dream
falling though a dream
within a dream 
within a dream

love looks through itself
falls through your eyes
shimmering reflections
of reflections
swirl and flow through pools of echoes
we are the dance of love
falling in love with itself

love embraces love
overflows its banks
swoons into this ocean of tears
it never left

After the rain

after the rain
evening birds
carry sky
into
still
flowering
clouds

horizon lingers
for just a kiss
tattered seas
rise
into darkness

words hold pictures
celluloid dreams
punctuating the flowing
with stillness
and movement

space holds no space
nor emptiness
life's preciousness
cannot be gathered
nor spilled
nor drunk

it is the intoxication
of life drinking itself through your lips
that leaves you spinning
longing for more
but there is no more
nor less
than this bejeweled enchantment
this thought dream singing
all and everything
and no thing
at all

you can hear it constantly
painting a world
and a you in the center
but there is no one listening to thought
and no one thinking
no one longing to change the world
or escape it
no sky
no sea
nor even a universe
without thought

thought is the miracle that seems to create an imaginary gap
between moments
and events
and things
it paints our reality
including the concept of reality

this magician's tale
has no teller
other than the story itself

catapulted out of a cage of uncertainty
there is no one to fall
no where to land...
no one to slide down a rainbow's echo
or surf the falling
waves

we are the magical dream we tried to push and pull
to lay in its clouds
above the horizon
waves lapping
on the distant shore

you cannot fall out of the sky
when all is sky
you cannot miss this love
when there are no things to fall in love
or out of it

you know that there is no outside to the dream
and no inside
let's walk the sandy beaches
of this shoreless ocean
and listen to the sea birds sing

you can hear your heart greet you
welcome to the universe
its wonderful to have you back
I've missed you
I love you







sea of palest shell light
drifts into dawn
nothing surfs empty shadows
not even light

day and night pour through your heart
atemporal rhythm of love abides
no where
every where...
there are no places
nor place-less-ness
with love
or without it

betwixt eternity and this ultimate vacancy
inclusive of all things
and no things at all
love rests in her infinite intimate embrace

there is no thing called love
as love is simply this delicious unknowing
...that there are no things at all
not even love...

morning pushes away the last tattered clouds
uncovers storm laden beaches
a young girl picks through the broken shells
looking for a remnant of storm
a piece of ocean song that will fit
in the palm of her heart






wind blown fingerprint of sky
in sky
trails the dawn
streams across the desert
pools in cool deep shadows
along the canyon walls

what is the tree-ness in the tree
ablaze in scarlet
you can touch them but cannot get closer to its flowers
or the word red
or the color
of the wind
that strokes your cheek
and loosens the blossoms from the tree

how can you get closer to the wetness of your tears
is it the wind
or the memory of petals
falling
through your mind stream?
how far or near is sky?





morning streams through my window
erases my face from the glass
poems begin to blossom...
words are hidden shadows caressing gathering coalescing thought into a fabricated world
of shapes
and un-graspable colors
streaming into and through each other
a water color dream scape
a liquid dance
emerging and dissolving into itself
simultaneously

...sound
pouring flowing echoes of echoes of echoes of what cannot be caught or held...
a symphony an unfathomable display that has no score or conductor or instruments or beginning or end...

...light
ricocheting through its infinite reflections...
it has no source other than itself
mirrors without sides or middle bedazzle...
this shimmering iridescence enchants and plunges deeply into the heart it sings without ever being knowable...
a thought dream of amazing complexity
I am a word dream watching songs paint the day

I am the dream
dreaming itself

light falls through my fingers
through an infinite filagree of space
without breath
or sound
or silence
or the hush in between

color has no surface
nor sound
yet you feel your lips and tongue mouth the word
red...
what is red?
can you remove it from the softness of petals
or the waves at sunset
how substantial are vowels and consonants
how solid are words?
how much does a thought weigh?

I am a day dream of shimmering in the absence of light

and dark

and all the in betweens

a wandering storyline where the path is painted by my very footfalls which leave no wake

or shadow

or imprint on this liquid dream scape

that neither flows or holds still

as the footfalls are the dreamscape

simultaneously self sprung and self erasing

without time

or non time

the story teller is the story itself

it is a spinning round about spiral that never captures itself

as I am the dream I can never see it

there seem to be explosions of color and sound sliding into fiery rainbow reflections and incomprehensible symphonic sensuous

echoing forwards and backwards

rinsing light from light

and darkness from dark

imploding like hearing a foreign language upside down

liquifying all imaginary lines

into these very words that seem to hold the magic I sought my entire life

but never can

as the enchantment is the unknowing

indeed there was no one to have a life

or a life to be had

...nor colors dancing

nor rainbows shimmering

nor tears falling 

trails of night time dream paint the morning sky

I am a streaming thought dream

echos of ancient rivers thundering down canyons so deep

the immensity can only be felt

drowned in fathomless seas

dissolved in endless skies

no one awakens from

eternity's slumber

I am a magician's tale

a holographic day dream

watercolors pouring into an ocean of rainbows

lost as a delicious unknowing

sunsets adrift in a sea of golden

floating in an overwhelming hush between never and forever

exploding and imploding into edgeless love

words sing bouquets of wing-ed shadows falling

into phrases

cascading into poems

coalescing into pools of echoes

where light and colors bloom

an enchanting sea

where the enchantment is enchantment

this shimmering daydream

painted with words that paint words

and ideas like painting

may wash away the forms and colors they sang into

phrases

syncopate into disjointed words

and melt the love letters into foreign symbols that have no context

nor meaning 

nor time

nor space

nor eternity

nor anyone to bathe in the glow of sunshowers

streaming across the porch

catching leftover rain in spider webs

glistening jewels suspended in sky

all is reflected light

there is no source

End of Ocean Of Love ^

New book:

morning waltzes through me as I waltz through the shimmering

echoes dance and sing as they slide off starlight's bow

pouring through golden sky

rippling the backdrop of sound

into this day dream of stories... of stories... of stories

transparent waves of memories flood the thought stream

this river of infinite voices

...I can no longer tell 

and no longer care

whose story dances through these lines that sing me

purply leaves wrap sky in filagree

bejeweled wonderment swirls the naked winds

pouring shadows across the garden

waving long golden stalks of autumn grasses

resting on the restless blossoms of spring

pushing

into

sky

sky falls down

in between the shadows

a dance that seems to have separate partners

but without the words

there is no sky nor wind

nor anyone to behold such majesty

where is the line between your heart and this nakedness

these buds bursting into petals

color

falling

through your fingers

through your heart

echoes of shimmering

illuminate the air

this undeniable aliveness

sings in these very words

breathless I race across the keyboard

but there is no word that comes next

or before

wind flowers

painted with wind

petals

fall

silently

softly

into their own softness 

iridescent tears of lanterned finery

radiant echoes of love

and love lost

waves of drunken shadows

paint the worded world

watercolors wash away your footsteps

intoxicated moon

sings love songs to its reflection

this sublime  world

a dream of light and shadow

of colors

swirling

coalescing...

and falling apart 

oceans so vast you cannot remember the words

skies so deep they swallow all description 

love so 

everywhere

and no where

its songs are the stuff of clear skies

shimmering

and clouds

forming

streaming down the mountains

across the desert...

storms

brewing

bursting...

rain

drowns you

wind

flows through you

and blows you over

you pour into the ground

and melt into the softness of tears

drying

in love's tenderness

and you are the wind

and the clouds

and the sky

and the love

that sings itself

with every breath

every word

every tear

words caress the skin of sound

emptiness

fullness

vibrations

energy

...a bouquet of ideas

blossoms and falls

suns and moons

drift across your mind stream

wings of light play with shadow

leafy filagree of wind

adorns your face

sings love songs to your reflection

echoes under water

ricochet across the known world

and melt the horizon

between dawn and dusk

deepening shadows of unknowing

paint a chasm

shadows bow and fall through their own darkness

and do not plead for light

the space in between spaces

turns to face itself

and finds not even a drop of emptiness

to complete the circle

that was never drawn

or erased

...or broken

in this ocean of love  

in this very kiss

a thousand tears pour into their own wetness

sun is drenched with sun showers

love is subsumed in love

belief in separation creates the feeling of separation... when it is no longer believed, not by the imaginary persona but by the very brain that objectifies the sensorial input, there is a significant change in how the world is experienced but it is still the dream... it is the dream of not believing in the dream...

in love with the love of it all

all is super saturated in silence

this cascading river of sound

and the imaginary spaces in between

this hush this pause this explosion of love

permeates the worded world when it is no longer believed

thought stream emerges

and disappears

it never travels anywhere

not even nowhere

it has no banks

leaves no wake

has no substance

or distance from you

it sings you

there is no place where words do not dwell

nowhere is a word

there is no outside of thought

nor before...

yet there may be a feeling that there is something beyond...

something wondrous and mysterious...

beyond is a thought...

there is most likely a physical world that we can never know

or touch without concepts

as we are conceptual beings

the assumption of knowing

of solidity

the thought stream is flowing description

made of learned shared words and concepts

memory informs the worded world with context

and meaning...

places...

and time...

this mental construct, this made up world of separate things

and events

and people

is wondrous indeed!

this thought dream is the only place love and beauty exist

and you

and me...

when the dream of separation is no longer believed

it does not disappear

the universe swallows us and spits us out

laughing and weeping at our magnificent humanness

we live suspended between love

and nothing at all

subsumed in the joy and awe

of simply being

counting every tear

every raindrop

every moment

trying to pin down the sky

so that you might not fly apart...

the longing to know to understand to figure out the why's

and why nots...

one potato two potato three potato four...

he loves me

he loves me not...

a quest for certitude ends when belief is no longer believed

how amazing that all thingness,

all qualities and characteristics,

all time, dimension, and causality is mentally fabricated

it makes the imaginary dream of separation more magical

how sublime this love!

how splendid these tears!

how wondrous this precious aliveness!

this awareness aware of being aware

the jewel of our humanness... 

words combine into a streaming picture show

as the thought dream magically self arises,

words disassemble themselves into meaningless sounds

falling through neuronal gaps

flying apart at the 'seems'

words are the skin of sound

sliding instruments and notes into an indecipherable symphony

punctuating life with beginnings and endings

and a middle...

painting love and beauty into a galaxy

spinning wonder into a universe

that neither sings nor swings without words

all paintings have edges

what would capture this flowing unknowable unknown

but words?

ideas streaming

colors blooming

wilting into their own memory

love

a water color thought dream

painted with wet in wet

echoes dissolving in an ocean of sound

singing itself

rain

all night

breath of my lover

silence of intimacy

melts into words

jewels of dawn slide down the window

what is hot without this tea?

hands grasp a yellow mug

steam spirals

galaxies hover in soft illumination 

my reflection in the glass fades into white sky

arching trees

drooping rose bushes

rippling puddles in the garden

what is wet without liquid?

words create distance

between you and the world

meaningless patterns echo the known world

watching my fingers slide across the keyboard

song of morning sings me

I am a poem of sounds

articulated by these lips

this tongue

this mouth

this breath

these words

a rhythm

a heartbeat

of this and that

imaginary sides

hold an imaginary middle

river of song

melts into an ocean of silence

breath of love

sings

mountain crowned in

filagree of storm

puddles bathe in

cloud reflection

echoes of words slide through one another

singing layers of transparency

all is sublimed in wondrous unknowing

rainbows bloom

colors stream

and disappear

not even a moment

exists

no rain

no stars

no moon setting

still dark

dawn sweeps in through the window

first robin

tires on the canyon road

refrigerator hums

and is silent

sound dissolves into its own echo

water dissolves into its own wetness

love dissolves into love

what is the death of tomorrow

but an explosion of love falling

softly

softly

softly

through itself

painted by these empty eyes

tears

flowing

wind blows rain soaked petals

against the window

fingerprints of love

slide down the glass

across my reflection

love is a two way mirror

what is the sound of the pale evening moon

drowning in plum blossoms?

what is this sublime heart ache when beauty is recognized?

how could we be separate from this beauty?

that is why it is recognized...

is there an inside to this song?

do poems have an outside?

what is it that words capture?

what is the taste of taste

the wetness in wet

the light in light

...the love in love

love letters spell out the daydream

and we are its enchantment

love the ocean

we drown in

as love breathes us

we sing

dawn sings an elegant silence

wind soars down the canyon

rippling reflections sing

effortlessly

life flows

yet never moves

sound of water blooms

yellow finches at the feeders

heavy with rain

daffodils bow

some stalks are empty

quivering slender green

bejeweled wetness

echoes of sunrise

gently held in spider webs

adorned in shimmering reflections

there is nothing underneath this song

I am a drifting symphony of wonder

cascading through the morning

This is not the end of the dream

It is the end of belief in the dream 

Which is the dream 

Dreaming itself 

plum blossoms

wind

petals rush down the street

gathering in pools

of yesterday's rain

we are reflections of love's breath

ricocheting in a window

without sides

words slide through the mind stream

painting a canyon

of echoes

morning pours shadows across the garden

hovering in a daydream of light

what is under the surface of words?

how deep is this song?

words slice what cannot be known

into a world of vast unending skies

towering mountains

vast deserts

thundering seas...

...and love

the most wondrous word

seems to capture and hold

the unknowable

but really there is not even nothing

inside it

This is not the end of the dream

It is the end of belief in the dream 

Which is the dream 

Dreaming itself

Sublimely bittersweet this love that tastes itself through these lips... 

such beauty... 

I weep... but it is not sorrow... I am the longing to sing to dance to share this love

And all I can do is pour words onto a screen... 

We can never touch 

Yet we exist only in the touching...

sultry clouds dissolve

sunset adorns the canyon

what is the sound of darkness

softly

falling

into your eyes?

this is an atemporal liquid love dance

leaving no wake nor shadow..

having no sound nor silence

a symphony of unfathomable vastness without dimension

or substance

falling in love with itself

through your eyes

no one or thing plays it

there is no script or rehearsal

no orchestra or instruments

or melody or rhythm

or point of departure

or goal

enchanted with my own enchantment

amazed at my own amazement

I am the imaginary gap in between the unknown unknowable

and the worded world

this magical hologram

of love

and love lost

and drifting shadows anointed with dawn