Monday, September 24, 2018

And I weep

golden threads of sunset
weave your reflection into the river
nothing behind you
nothing before you
anchor-less
footless
you dance
on the bones of mirrors
and fallen skies

there are no edges in this flowing tapestry of wonder
you are this liquid ballet
of sun shadows pouring honey
into the glowing



whirling and whirling
trying to find the brilliance
you are
chanting syllables
counting beads
counting tears
trying to separate wet from light
dancing on these shimmering waters
looking for the essence of love
there is only reflected light

this piercing love
is everywhere
and nowhere
it enters you
from the inside and out
penetrates your pores
your skin your teeth your false smile
your blindness

gnaws your bones
sucks out the marrow
rips your heart out
consumes it bit by bit
its teeth are so beautiful
in the pale moon light
its breath the breath of hunger
your ache for love
is you
consumes you
darkness bleeds light
wings softly stir
iridescence takes flight




through a thin place in the clouds
moonlight poured into the garden
you caught a glimpse
a sideways glance
of love
as you ran out the back door
she crept in
like a thief
she stole your shadow
and your house
and your belief in love

she left nothing
not even an empty dress
not even a whisper
just a memory of this kiss
kissing itself
through your lips



This stillness is within the wind
And is the flowing wind itself
This stillness is inside your heart
And is your heart song flowing
This stillness cannot be missed
As it is the missing of it


Why do you think you feel so good when a teacher prescribes a method?
Tells you that you can awaken
As he did?



what can you hold
whose hands are these
grasping the scent
of fallen leaves

to let go of these hands
to find this love
this love remembered
that cannot be touched

thrusting her hands
into mirrored sky
her reflection crumbled
and slid into sea

her hands on the keyboard
her face in the glass
as the train pulled out
...dissolving tracks

she could no longer read
the music she played
an echo of silence
that cannot stay

nothing remains
no melody
no song of love
waits for thee

yet there is this love
touching all things
as it dissolves them
sea into sea




Autumn blossoms in the canyon
Lingers on the mountain
Sky above
Sky below
walking through the shimmering
dissolved in my reflection
Suspended as wonder
I am the wind and golden leaves falling
Waltzing in September Sun



looking for the love that is always here
dressed as a beggar
or your closest lover
or that dress in the window you imagine yourself dancing in
it is not something to adorn your nakedness
there is no one wearing this love
nor your nakedness
you cannot surrender to it
you are it

love and lover
dance and dancer
ocean and wetness
tears and saltiness
wind and the tree tops dancing
where does the mountain end and the valley begin
where are you when you are not

this aliveness you seek
is the very seeking of it
this silence you ache to hear
cannot be forgotten
or remembered
it is always singing

this love song you long for
is singing you
and this beautiful longing
for love

the harder you try to touch it
to hold it
will create the feeling that there is actually something to grasp
and someone who is grasping
yet this is love reaching for itself

nothing is separate from it
there are no things
not even love



trying to fold and unfold moonlight
there are no cupboards in sky
to hold it
or in your heart
to hide it
no one wears this garment of tears
rainbow reflections
of light and dark
dancing into and through each other

darkness does not hide the light
how could you know darkness
without light
this knowing of light and dark
sound and silence
equally and effortlessly arises
the dark is not separate
from its recognition
light is not separate
from the knowing of it
sound is not separate
from silence
you are not separate
from your tears

waiting for silence
there is only the sound of your waiting
whilst morning sings

carpet of light rolls down the canyon
finches begin their song in the plum tree
gathering at the feeder
drinking and dipping in the garden ponds
hang upside down on the sunflowers
mountain winds rush down to fill the gap
of hot air rising off the desert floor
the dance of life swooning through life
effortlessly sings



relentless suns
pull the shoot from the seed
paint their flowering
bask in their own glow
wilts their tenderness

as the wind plays
I love you
I love you not
with their softness
now drying
on the autumn ground
their colors paint the path of moon
across the sleeping face of winter
trees clothed in storm clouds
lit by relentless suns

spiraling through yourself
aching for release
from deaths flower
it perfumes your breath
leaves its kiss on your lips
life blooms and wilts simultaneously
there are bars on these windows
but they are transparent
this painted glass
melts in relentless suns



far flung harmonies filled the shattering sky
dust motes caught the fractured light
pierced my eyes
pierced my ears
pierced my heart
the very ground crumbled

silence stretched her arms into sky
gathering suns and moons and infinite space
and held them in her mouth  
she swallowed the earth
savoring the syllables
she sang from everywhere
and nowhere
she had no words
yet every word sang her name

the music of colored stones in the river
the hush before dawn
cannot be held
broken mirrors hold no images
when they have lost their sides

yet these streaming reflections are beautiful
these echoes of love light
I see in your eyes
a looking glass of wonder
fills you and drinks you
I see your kiss on the rim
bathing rainbows themselves
with your tremendous beauty

you are a precious gem
I fall into your glow



you can never know this
but it can be known
the razor of thought that carves you
cannot see what has no edges
what the thought stream labels truth
is an idea
like time
like you

there is nothing to lose
or find
or remember
or foget
simply thought flowing
painting a dream of a you on a timeline
between birth and death
balancing is so hard isn't it?

what would happen if you fell off?
before you learned your name
was there anyone to learn it?
is there a before?
can you find it?



on the edge of the deep dark forest
trees dance with their shadows
shadows waltz with their shadows
it is the edge of moonlight
in this meadow
of winds
and long grasses
a long drink
of shimmering stream
a last long look
at your reflection
and you are ready
to enter the unknown
but in this unknowing
where will you be?
who is in love with the autumn moon?



When alone 
I weep at the beauty 
In tears 
I weep at the beauty 
In love 
I weep at the beauty



slowly slowly 
wind begins her dance down the canyon
breathing out
breathing in
no one breathes this love
or falls in love 
love falls in love with itself
wind swoons through wind
light pours through light 
the empty sigh 
of morning

Through your beautiful beautiful eyes 
Love falls in love with itself 



I cannot find anything 
Anyone 
Here 
There is a sublime emptiness 
Indescribable
Yet there is flowing description 
Like this 
That seems to create things 
Bodies 
And personas...

I cannot find anything 
Anyone 
There 
Simply an edgeless spaciousness 

yet through a sideways glance 
I see your beauty
It blinds me 
I hear your song
And swoon 
Through the looking glass 
Of reflections 
Where we dance


golden wings of summer
shift and soar in autumn winds
fire dances 
in the storm 
rainbows unfurl
what is made of sky
what is not
is sky made of sky?
what about the sun 
dancing on the waves
in love with its own reflection
what lies between the lips and the kiss
is it love?

can you drink this light 
that pours into your shadow
and erases even love?
letters lose their context... 
you can no longer stand
you have no feet
you have no hands
you have no face 
no mouth 
no eyes 
you can no longer read 
missives of love 
that enchanted you
they were burned 
on love's pyre
that consumed even itself 

the day love dies
will forever burn in your empty breast 
this day is that day 

there was rain last night
in the full moon
I can hear the finches
hanging from the bent sunflowers

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Your heart song flowing



sky descends
night swallows day
you walk an unseen path
the fences in the fields dissolve
along with your feet
the nighthawks cry

you lost your voice
listening to the dark
waiting to be consumed
by your echo

your chest
a vacuum
empty of breath and heart
explodes



what is this longing
of what you do not know
some vague idea of peace or wholeness
what you seek is closer than your heartbeat
and that ache you are terrified to acknowledge
you feel it might break your heart if it is let loose
but it is not your heart
or your love
or your tears
or mine
there was never a line between you and you tears
it is merely these words that seem to create them
counting the tears
counting the days
counting the moments
until you will break free
but you must break into innumerable pieces
before realizing that there was never anything to break
nor anything to mend
nor anyone to be set free

looking for an empty mind
to find an imagined peace
ripples in water cannot be caught
saying its name
will not help you find the wind

you cannot hide from the sun
its searing light
embraces its reflection
in endless seas
it swallows you
breathes you
…exhales

it is love's light
that pierces your heart
sucks out your breath
shows you that there is no one
who has a heart
who loses or finds love
no lines can be found
no source to this echo
or this light
or this love
that sings your name
you cannot join
that which was never apart
you cannot mend
that which was never broken
between the inbreathe and out-breath
there is no between
there is no outside
nor in
there are no sides

blooming and wilting simultaneously
love sighs
petals fall
softly softly
between the lips and the kiss
there is not even nothing



The ache of our beautiful humanness is knowing we can never touch


walking on reflections
through this flowing dreamscape
this water ballet of color
and sound
wind soars down the canyon
longing to brush the desert with its kiss
this river of song
aching to be heard

echoes of memories appear and vanish
a flowing carpet of light and shadow
fills me
empties me
yet, there is no one to fill
no cup to empty
no shell to hold the ocean
of dreams

sun slides across the vault of sky
burning in its own reflection
drowning in the sea
as I did
long ago
the sea collided with sky
and crushed me with a tsunami
of love
my tears erased all boundaries
as space collided with space
and emptiness crashed thought emptiness
my face fell though its own reflection
through the mirror
of light and dark
not even a sideways glance could find me
in this conflagration of all my dreams
all my hopes
and fears
burst into bloom
and wilted on the pyre
where love lay bleeding

the scent of midnight ocean
seared the day
afterimages swirl
and seem to paint my lines
with sky in sky

there are no flowers to grasp
softly petals fall
through me
these words
sing me
and this love that fills all shadows with light
embraces me



after the birds swam into the day 
she held a single feather
to decipher the song of the morning
a language she could not forget  
or remember
she stood on the shore of infinity 
longing for her own return 

there is no map in this vastness 
no safe harbor from the inevitable storm
you know you will drown
there will be no one left
to breathe  
your heart will burn
this magnificence will claim 
even your ashes 

and what is left
when you've been to the other side of darkness
and light?
you reappear 
you return to this lovers dance 
weeping 
as this searing brilliance never leaves
your heart your life
this love 
was never yours




and the scent of summer rain in the desert
cannot quench your thirst
it pulls you along 
drags you screaming
for another kiss
of bliss
yet the drops linger
clothed in the rainbows 
of your beautiful desire
I see you dancing 
naked in the rain
that cannot hide your tears
they have no labels
neither joy nor sorrow 
what is this love you long for
it is neither mine nor yours
to give or receive 
it is the echo of your loneliness
reflected in your beautiful tears



nothing can be held
in this great wind
that sweeps the blood from your veins
the marrow from your bones
and rips your face from your reflection

nothing is left
no path to walk along
no ground to stand on
no water to sail upon
or drown in 
no air to breathe
not anyone to hold the clouds 
that kiss their faces 
sky deep in love



she longed for the flower of love to burst open her heart
to burn its essence into hers
to brand her
as loves true lover
she longed for the kiss of light
to erase the dark
where fear and loneliness flourished

she folded words into keys 
and pushed them under the door
hoping her aloneness would be opened 
the walls she felt around her heart 
wept 

she painted her windows with rainbows 
to hide her nakedness from the garden 
yet still felt the roses and their thorns
pierce her tenderness 

she sent missives of love into the sky
each one kept her in a sealed envelope 
a paper dream 
that could not unravel her origami heart 
every day she walked though a garden of flowers
blooming and wilting
petals falling along the path
she walked though endless beauty 
she could not see
sun revealed her beauty
she could not see
loves infinitesimal beauty 
was her longing for love



does the sky need an anchor
so it won't fly away in the wind?
where does the wind stop
and you begin
as it caresses your face
as you see the tree tops dancing?
is wind separate from the thought of wind?
are you separate from the thought of wind?



Every consonant articulates
In this unending syllable


does a mountain long to crumble into the sea
what is this ache we will do anything to resolve 
looking endlessly for a key to a door we cannot see
consuming texts as wide as the ocean
listening at night for the song of the universe 
standing on the edge of the precipice of uncertainty 
afraid to face the vastness
terrified there is nothing there
or here 

this torrent of love
will wash you away 
you will crash on the rocks 
on the edge of time 
a tsunami of hope and fear
will build a mountain of words 
and light the fire 

it is certain death
to be burnt in this pyre 
a great wind
will blow away your ashes
they will not gather in the cracks and crevices of knowledge

in the smithy 
you will be turned into gold
in a world of gold
into light
in a world of light
into wind
in a world of wind
into sound
in a world of sound 
into silence 
in a world of silence
you will sing



looking for the face of god in the rear view mirror
missing your obvious beauty
trying to listen 
when you are the listening 
trying to separate the shimmering light
from the water
trying to find the dance
without a dancer 
and love
without lovers

her crown had toppled 
jewels strewn everywhere she looked
the anchor loosed itself 
no map or wheel to guide her
on this shimmering sea of dreams

looking for truth 
she found only an empty shell
the sound of her blood roaring
the nautilus exploded 
into infinite iridescent shards
piercing her heart

she was left standing 
watching her hands dissolve into the sunset
one foot in the sand
the other lost at sea


This stillness is within the wind
And is the flowing wind itself 
This stillness is inside your heart 
And is your heart song flowing 
This stillness cannot be missed
As it is the missing of it


Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Your own love

It’s your own love that eviscerates you
and your own tears that you drown in
Until you see that it was never your love
Or your tears
Just a river that looked at its own wetness and wept

You fall through the mirror and find there are no sides
No middle
No place in between
No here nor there
Yet this is where we dance
and can never touch
falling into and through each other’s reflection
This shadowed iridescence where light and darkness kiss
This melody without notes
Love without lovers
Song without words
Remembered or forgotten
Never sung yet heard
The space without space
Or emptiness
Sings


bits of blue
shattered sky
broken dreams
clouds weeping
puddles gathering
street rippling
reflections of memories
lovers dance
hidden in shadow
under the autumn leaves
bits of blue
rain falls
robin sings


dove swoons through her shadow
carries the morning in her wings
sunlight waltzes with this leaf and wind dance
feathered sky

pausing on the high wire
she sings the song of my childhood
folding into my heart
a wistful melancholy
walking with my family
darkening summer streets
mother and brother dead now
father old
that wondrous ache I knew as a child
and savored
this precious life
no one can capture
love
no one can hold

this sublime ache of our aliveness
no one wears
is the song of emptiness
bursting
the silence no one can sing
is everyones song



no moon
no sky
empty breath of wind
crickets have lost their voice
music of the trees dancing in the dark
warmth of yesterday has not left the room
the scent of rain far up the canyon
my reflection in the open window
tea sits
steam twists and curls and disappears
thought paints night into morning
forms these hands upon the keyboard
writing the dream
as the dream writes me
writing
I drink deeply
my echo in the looking glass



no one bathes
or drowns
in pools of sky
no one opens their heart
or closes it
love has no edges
it breathes underwater

shadows flow down the empty streets
reflect my footfalls
dancing on water
the search for heaven
and endless blue
died
when I fell up
and sky swallowed me
she spit me out
inside and outside kissed
and fell through each other
reflected light has only echoes
to dance with



I am a transparent portrait
a water color thought dream
wet in wet in wet in wet
river in river
river in sky
echoes in the canyon
mouthfuls of words
singing



Do stars long to catch their reflection in the midnight sea?
Do the waters ache to hold their light?
Deep rivers flow into fathomless seas
and dissolve in their own wetness.
Light pours through light and there is no space nor emptiness
Nor light
Echoes of echoes cannot be held or sung
Shadows melt into shadows
Bodies dance
But we can never touch
I am the longing to sing of this sublime edgelessness
Knowing I cannot
Here is this seamless beauty
Words cannot kiss



there is no path between this and that
to a place where all things are joined
no way to conquer your longing to merge with the unspeakable
the lover longs for the beloved
and to breath the rarified air of the end of countless tears
mountain springs flow into streams
meander through grassy meadows
canyon rivers
gorged on spring rains
pour into the sea
always there is the union
of what was never separate

no one sleeps
rocked in the cradle of moon
caressed by summer winds
awaiting her own return
night sleeps in her own reflection
gathering the tides into her dream
no one drowns in her wake of sun and sorrow and endless seas

no one awakens
to an unbound brilliant stillness
it was never lost
or found
it is in every tear
every word
the magic
is your longing
to be free

no one holds the magic of moon
your heart never left its starlit home
its walls have always been transparent



flashpoint of ancient songs
lies between the lips and the breath
inside the colors of a rainbow dissolving
it hovers in your heart
and waits for no one to sing it
words erupt in your mouth
they taste of morning and evening
and the first and last bird song
of dark silent nights
and pale moonlight on your lovers face
of bright bright sunshine
curling in echoes
around the corners
or love itself
another word that lost its meaning
when sky fell through your house
and burned the walls and ceiling
and floor
and left no place to hide



you cannot hide from your own nakedness
no one wears it
nothing is concealed
your majesty is your wounds and scars and
memories of love and love lost

your tears and smiles and feelings of brokenness
are not fragments of your being
unravelling
they are your beauty
weeping at the the face of love
you see in the mirror



I am a drifting sea of words
beautifully suspended between 
sound and silence 
rippling rainbows above
and below 
nothing in-between 
undercurrents lost their meaning
as there is no shore or sand bank 
distant or near 
suns and moons sail through the vault of sky
and kiss their reflections as they sink into the sea 
my hair flows as seaweed
fish swim through their own ripples 
there is no propulsion 
just these words
singing



ripples are the water
reflecting echoes of memory
of sky and sea and the horizon untied
of your face and the mountains behind you
of colored rocks and sand flowing 
of wet in wet in wet in wet
of light falling through light 
beauty is the water seeing itself 
through your eyes
tales splashing 
silent rain on your hidden face



and they dreamed of storms past... and they dreamed of dreaming... and they dreamed of the rain as it was raining
they dreamed of awakening out of the dream, but realized that it was the dream, dreaming them

and they raised their heads, smelling the lightening on the mountains...



darkness breathes
in the garden 
beauty sleeps 
in beauty 
rain 
falls 
and cannot hide your tears
or your longing for a tomorrow 
which will never come 

blanket of words 
cannot hide you 
your passion will ignite the fibers 
and you will be consumed by your own love 
dagger of immeasurable beauty
rips you from the inside and out
until not even emptiness remains 
morning blossoms 
and you find 
you're still here
a song
of love's memories


where is the door that no one opens
or shuts
who knows what beauty is?
life in death
death in life

searching for the edge of the known world
she found her footsteps 
crumbling

before her behind her within her without her 
love swooned into her shadow weeping at the beauty of her tears

light in dark
dark in light

echoes of songs filled her mouth with the kiss of everything and nothing
and she danced on the edge of a feather between love and nothing at all


I am a sea of words 
Flowing 
And receding 
And every word feels like love to me 



tasting the rainbows on the rim of your glass
drinking in your own reflection 
breathing on the mirror
watching your lips sing these words  
you are the looking glass of sound
breaking the sky  
songs shatter your painted windows 
and reveal infinite color shimmering 
you are light and wind 
and the morning song



listening to my song 
wrapt in my own embrace
I am an echo
drenched with sound
and silence 
there is no sequel 
to this tale 
no one to fill in the blanks...
it spills outside the margins 
I can hear it howling at the moon
the canyon breathes this river of song 
it paints light and color and
dances with its own reflection 
it sings the scent of summer rain
saturating the desert
and a lone figure walking 
this flowing tapestry of wonder



The horizon let go of itself 
And I drowned in a tsunami of sea and sky 
I am sun and wind dancing 
Warm shallows rippling 
Silver fish darting 
Cold fathomless depths breathing 
I am this ocean of song 
Singing



blooming and wilting simultaneously 
petals fold into their own delicate softness 
your world collapses into itself 
there are no doors leading out
signposts melt in the heat of your desire 
your tears are broken rivers
that cannot be crossed 
molten earth pours through you
steam from endless seas boiling
evaporates you
love has crushed out all the light
to reveal a seamless baseless brilliance
that was never lost
or found



children play with colored stones
weave patterns on the sidewalk
they know the magic
you feel you have lost

and you pick up old stones
you once thought were diamonds 
and toss them into the pond
missing the magic of the ripples 

reading and rereading ancient texts
looking for the secret 
you can feel under your breath
waiting to consume you
to blaze you 
into molten gold

ideas of god and forever 
branded in your heart 
will not keep the edges from collapsing 
or your light from shining 
as it always has

you simply never noticed 
you were seeking the love the magic 
the light
you are


Friday, September 7, 2018

Everyone’s Song

where something and nothing fall through each other...
and place and placelessness lose their meaning...
and meaning and non meaning fall apart...
and these words that type themselves lose themselves on an endless screen...
that was covered with so much ink she could not see the light.....
one tear spilled onto the pages of her story and the words began to run...
and beautiful shapes and colors were seen to be part of the river that was neither moving nor non moving...
yet she was moved at the all encompassing wondrousness...
and realized she was the river weeping at its own beauty

can we hear sounds without noticing the words?
colors without images?
is there life without lines?
if there is we cannot know it
yet line-less-ness can be intuited and felt
saturating imaginary edges
sound is a word
silence is a word
love is a word
I hear you talking and cannot hear the words
I fall into and through your edgeless beauty
not caring what your story is
or mine
is the story of love

speechless I sing
of morning and night and the death of time
of love pouring soundlessly through the window
that was never open or shut
of crashing through a mirror that has no sides
or middle
of lips meeting in this kiss
where no one can ever touch
of lips that have no words
yet sing of wordlessness
of songs that cannot be heard or sung
or remembered
or forgotten
or lost



there is no emptiness
nor form
no one to wear these shoes
nor dance
no one to cross the shoreless ocean
no one to arrive
no one is asleep
no one awakens

this morning I sit with my laptop
and listen to the first finches
and the doves on the telephone wires
vowels slide through my mouth
an ocean roars
consonants are the rhythm
the suck and pull of tides
I walked in moonlight last night
through the hush
that permeates the day

when there is no one listening
there is no song
and no singer
no lines to shimmer in the wind
and spill out and over and through themselves
into this very heartbeat
this very breath
these very words
that sing me


she ironed flowers by moonlight and buried them in the garden
there was no time to press them in books
thinking of her children eating peaches in the summer sun
she would never see the delicate buds of spring
and who could she talk to about the death of days and nights
and the end of her poem?



and words pour through me and sing the canyon and all the dancers into this waltz of light and dark and cool breezes and long summer nights...
and love blossoms and falls with every breath....
and some hear their heart song in these words that can never hold the magic of this simple feeling of all feeling that no one holds...
songs brush the morning onto the river of song...
and reflect your beautiful face as it sees that it is only a reflection....
and the canyon and all the dancers, cottonwood trees and pinyon jays squawking...
simply an illusion of words...
cloud flowers flowing into and through each other
wind leaves no path
a lover passes and leaves no footprint
simply the memory of a kiss
that had no sides
dissolving into the sunset



what words suggest this all pervading silence which is not the absence of words or thought?
perhaps sound that tosses all sounds out the window of the car on a midnight road, wind streaming...
crickets singing....
headlights vainly lighting a path though the impenetrable dark...
a deer, freezes...

kissed by a pale dawn
silhouettes of tree tops dance in the wind
this hush before the day
is never not felt
it was never erased nor written
yet it sings itself
like this

and where are you in this lovers kiss?
when light flows into and through itself
when space pours into space
when meaning and non meaning leave no fingerprints
on the mirror you fell through and found no sides nor middle
your own reflection can't kiss itself
and memories of echoes swirl in whirlpool'd beauty
in this river which is neither moving nor standing still


songs sing me and all this
how beautiful to watch my lines paint themselves
and simultaneously disappear




Am I old
Am I young
A flowing dreamscape
Painted with water color tears
Wet in wet in wet in wet
Drops of reflected light
Shimmering
Echoes of days and nights
Gathering in whirlpools of moon
Time and meaning died
When there was no one to circle the sun
Life is rich and full beyond measure
This incessant streaming momentary
Will stop
yet there is no care here
Thoughts of tomorrow have not ended
It’s simply that there is no one reading them
They are no more meaningful than the gentle morning wind breathing in the trees...

Yes I know this seamlessness of which I sing
This all pervading silence
This hush of no tomorrow
This sublime unknowing
That there are no things to know
And no one to gather them
Cannot be shared
Yet I sing
And some hear their heart song in these words that were never mine
And we dance and dance in this canyon of love

They may feel it for
Just
A
Brief
Moment
In love as love through love
This ecstatic love ballet of one of two of many of none
Yet they will return to the anguish of belief in the dream world
And I will continue to sing
Just
Like
This



she was an echo
in an sea of words
ripping off their skins
she held the vowels in her mouth
the juiciness of the flowing momentary
overflowed
surfing the waves
of light and dark
she plunged into the ocean of sound
and sang



silence breathes these words
saturates this song
is this penetrating
brilliance
super saturated with emptiness
edgeless-ness cannot be filled
or emptied
fingers rest lightly on the keyboard
windows open to the night
morning sleeps
canyon breeze stirs the garden
I can hear the big mulberry
dance
I feel her long branches caress the sky
hot tea sits on the table
with the open book
that no one read



listening to the sound of words
savoring the the skin and flesh
of morning
the neighbors sprinklers
tires on the road through the puddles
wind billowing the trees
softness of my fingers sliding
the click of the keyboard
my breath my heartbeat
the awaiting of birdsong
in the hush of dark
this song of life singing itself
closer than the tongue in my mouth
the taste of taste
I am the words
that taste the morning
soundlessness on the tip of my tongue



waltzing in the summer sun
love lost her shadow
drowning in diamond tears
light in light
love in love
pierced my own brilliance
shattered the sky
daggers
my heart
was never mine

what made me weep a lifetime of tears
what poured this empty shadow
into a river of shimmering echoes
what left no footprints
in the wind and sand and sky
what had an empty hand
that dissolved

looking for my tale
a lifetime of searching for love
I found only a center less spinning
of words
reflecting words

watercolor wash
of blues and grays
slid down the window of sky
pooled on the sidewalk
gathered in the shadows
pulled this empty heart
into the river of tears




my silhouette drifts and falls
hovers under wings of sky
waltzes with the moons reflection
slowly slowly
softly softly
kisses its own echo
rising over the canyon

I hear your song
it is the summer breeze
towering mountains
shimmering waters
dissolving light in light
shadows speak my name
I wept and wept to find
your voice was my own
and drowned in the river I had never left



shooting stars light your eyes and burn your skin
afterimages of words cast light and shadow into endless sky
letters fill and empty you
you can hear your dreams ripping
feel love burning
traceries of poems bloom and wither
tides bring in garlands of skulls
and marigolds
suck out the marrow of your heart
eat the tender delicate parts of you
that you never noticed before
under all that armor
of fear
and hope
there is a nakedness
that no one wears



and the threads can never touch.... yet this flowing tapestry of light and shadow and color....  I walk in utter amazement as this wonder is me sings me dances me twirls me down the grand canyon of love....

this is all we have this is all we are... this love... this song that sings me is a love song 
tears .... shimmering delicate rainbow reflections I see in everyones eyes... this beautiful ache of love and love lost...

wind dancing down the streets into the ocean




dove swoons through her shadow
carries the morning in her wings
sunlight waltzes with this leaf and wind dance 
feathered sky 

pausing on the high wire
she sings the song of my childhood
folding into my heart
a wistful melancholy 
walking with my family 
darkening summer streets 
mother and brother dead now
father old
that wondrous ache I knew as a child
and savored
this precious life
no one can capture
love
no one can hold

this sublime ache of our aliveness 
no one wears 
is the song of emptiness 
bursting 
the silence no one can sing 
is everyones song

Saturday, September 1, 2018

Rainbows on the tip of my tongue

We exist 
Only in this kiss 
Yet we can never touch


Love cannot dance in 
The absence of other 
This Sensuous love ballet 
Of one of two of many 
Of none 
Shadows meet 
And fall into 
Each other’s light 



and still you look for truth
a place to rest
it is obvious life never holds still
nor can you capture it

you know this magic 
cannot be held
as you are not separate from it

there are no edges to life
no separate moments
or events
or things
this seamlessness cannot be spoken of
it has no name nor non name
it is not emptiness
nor fullness
nor anything in between

what is this birth
what is this death
that is in every breath

where is this song
when it is sung
and leaves a hollow ring

you disappear
into these words
that have no substance

and still you look 
for truth and meaning
and you are the looking for what 
you will never find


We simply cannot see ourselves 
As we exist only as each other’s reflections



eternity falls into vastness 
rips out my breath 
I see his hat on the empty chair
echoes of sunlight pour through the open window
and the summer breeze 
through the loose ends of my hair



and when have you not been the night blooming 
gazing upon itself with awe
what is the sound of the mountains as they glow in the absence of moon
who stands here naked 
howling 'I love you' to his own reflection?


in the hurry-up of rain
long languid brush strokes of dawn

night makes love with her echo
canyon breathes like the push and suck of tides 
scent of mountain pines rushing towards the desert
greet the sage dance of dust and rain

silence dances through her reflection 
moon shadows fade into black  
this hush before dawn never leaves
warp and weft of memory paint the sunrise
slide through the frame of color
and sound
and touch  

afterimages leave no fingerprints
moon leaves no trace
footfalls leave no ripples 
in this pathless garden of shadows

trees bow and dance and never catch the wind
breathe morning into sky 
my heart is still yet seems to beat madly 
in love with the flowering of night and day



poems never written
never sung
never heard
nor forgotten
paint the calm before sunset
and the approaching storm 

as the gathering dark sings 
sky dances in the dissolving trees 
rippling in waves of dusk
words wait for my reflection 
to kiss itself 

songs are paper umbrellas
in the rain



you tossed missives of love 
into an edgeless sea
seaweed and garlands of marigolds
sand and moonlight in your hair
your letters filled this looking glass with emptiness 

looking for a place to rest 
the horizon burst into flames 
consuming sky 
and sea
and you

afterimages sweep and gather moon
reflected light 
swirls
dissolves in your empty hand
your hands merged into the fabric of sea and sky 
as you waited on a windswept beach
for your own return


whilst we are walking
I long to walk with you

I watch you reading
and long to watch you read 

I am this longing 
to love you
even as we love

though you live
I am this beautiful ache 
of your death


no one wears this nakedness 
or this flowered skirt rippling in the wind
wind is not separate from the flowing grasses 
flowers are not separate from my skirt 
this fabric of light and sound is not woven of things 
nor emptiness 
it weaves itself as flowers bloom and wilt
as morning sun streams through this open window
as wind caresses my softness
and carries away the steam from my tea 
without time or non time 
or direction or non direction 
or movement or non movement 
life flows by itself



When one becomes two and two become one and emptiness dissolves into itself 
Life flows along its natural course without intention


as I tried to drink my own kiss
I saw my reflection
in the shattering sky 
rainbows on the tip of my tongue


tree tops slowly slowly 
waltzing with sky 
wind sings shimmering echoes on the river 
I dance in pools of shadows 
memory paints my silhouette on the sidewalk
bowing and curtsying with the wind 
it flows through me 
I am the wind singing



wind sings through the open window
humming birds swoop and hover in the garden
there is no path to this fleeting all encompassing momentary
it blooms and wilts simultaneously 
it cannot be captured 
no one can allow it or reject or change it
as there is no one separate from this 
there are no edges 

there is no one breathing or feeling or thinking or doing... just life doing itself... looking and feeling like anything at all


I have no message 
or secret notes
folded into little squares 
that you can unravel

space folded into and through itself
and time lost its footprints
memories unravel
when there is no one left to read them

scanning the darkening sky
bathed in orang-y reds of sunset
clouds unfurl your heart
as you weep 
last robin song
last song of summer
withering vines cannot hold their flowers

is it beauty or love or awe 
or the death of tomorrow 
is it emptiness 
or fullness
or the last breath of moon
that rains upon the garden path
and pours reflected light into your eyes 
that I may see the tender delicate beauty
of your tears 
and the wetness of my face



evening hides in the shadows
pours up the mountain into sky
last dove leaves the feeder
carries the sun on her back 

hot desert wind rushes up the canyon
longing for the coolness of mountain rains 
morning will bring the mountains reply 
a call and answer sing song 
night in day
day in night 

hush of darkness never leaves
death sings its silence in every breath 
contained in every word
every song
bursts
with light 
life paints shadows on the carpet of moon
colors slide and bleed through this heart
as it falls into the rhythm of night 
this heart
that was never captured 
or held
in loves embrace
as it was never mine to give
or lose 
echoes of time kissed these lips 
long ago
as I fell into the mirror 
that had no sides 
nor middle
pierced by the shards of my own reflection 
dissolving light into shadow
and shadow into light 
one half of a kiss does not exist 

love's embrace was never lost 
or found 
it simply had no sides 
caressed from the inside and out
love is the erasing of imaginary lines


last train leaves
midnight sings 
no one waits 
or lies on the benches 
listening to the wind echo in the empty hall 

I am this dance of light and dark breathing  
of wind and the absence of dawn 
of the night hawk swooning
and moon lilies blooming 
of memories traipsing 
of a lonely girl who lost herself 
and found this sublime aloneness
that no songs can hold 

words twine dark and light
love and love lost 
and this joy that merged with sorrow  

tendrils of emptiness 
flow through my songs
paint moonlight on the ceiling
as I watch my reflection twirl


I have no message 
or secret notes
folded into little squares 
that you can unravel

space folded into and through itself
and time lost its footprints
memories unravel
when there is no one left to read them

scanning the darkening sky
bathed in orang-y reds of sunset
clouds unfurl your heart
as you weep 
last robin song
last song of summer
withering vines cannot hold their flowers 

is it beauty or love or awe 
or the death of tomorrow 
is it emptiness 
or fullness
or the last breath of moon
that rains upon the garden path
and pours reflected light into your eyes 
that I may see the tender delicate beauty
of your tears 
and the wetness of my face