All your efforts to try to hold up the sky
Never really worked
The banks that held in all the rivers
Dissolved
The cliffs that held in all the oceans
Collapsed
The mountains that held the sky from falling
Crumbled
Clouds melted into clouds
Stars swam into starlight
The fear that held you in
Melted
Your entire world disappears...
The waves have sucked out all the sand from your safe harbor...
As well as your footprints,
And your feet....
There are no reference points whatsoever....
No maps nor stars to guide you...
All signposts are realized to be imaginary
All paths end...
There is no goal...
There never was.
Just a tale of a mighty ship
On an edgeless sea
With no one at the helm
No sails
No wind
No wheel
No rudder
No anchor...
Adrift on the waves
Sun and moon and stars
Singing
You know this seamlessness
It’s always on
Like endless sky
No effort is required to paint it
It cannot be held.
It is the magic and love you long for
And fear
For if there are no lines
Sky would dissolve into sea
All lover’s tales
Would be just that
Your entire life would be a beautiful story
All you have ever loved
Would be imaginary
As well as you.
You say you prefer to keep the boundaries that define you
But no one can keep them
Or erase them
Wind in the distant pines
Shimmering needles
Dancing
Wind on your tender cheek
Flowing light
Liquid sky
Waterfalls in the canyon
Your tears
Your lover’s tears
His pain
Your pain
Whose tears...
Where does the wind blow
In the unknown canyon of your mind?
The sensorial display has no edges or beginning or end.
Attention appears to scan, rest and moves again.
No one directs it
It seems to be a survival mechanism
The brain paints a movie
Of wind and trees and tears and time....
A star is born, a center of the cyclone, around which the rest of the dream swirls.
There is always awake-ness or awareness to the symphony of perception, as there is no separate thing called awareness, or separate thing called perception.
No silent witness...
This story painted by your brain is a story of longing... you evolved to look for things to help the organism survive. Procreation and food, warmth... and seek out imaginary things like love and happiness and meaning...
you are that desire
And the looking for a never arising next
What would you be without it?
You have tried to get rid of desire
To get rid of the self
To stop or slow this incessant thought train
You feel there is a barrier between you
And this seamlessness...
But unicity is already always on
It need not and cannot be made anew
You can feel it
Beckoning....
It has called you since the day you learned your name...
It was never forgotten
It cannot be remembered
This is it just as it seems to appear
This dream within a dream within a dream
You are a fairytale character
A dream time story book
And your pages are unfolding
Dissolving...
Without any effort
Life magically appears
You are the longing for other
Better
More
....next
And there is none.
And while I slept the moon sang her song
Of reflected light and shadows
Blossoming in forgotten meadows
Delicately highlighting long shimmering grasses
Illuminating the dance of night time winds
But this sleep lasted eons
It was a timeless death
I dreamed of endless suns and great winds to pour through me
For that avalanche of hope and fear where I lay buried
To dissolve
But what light erases an imaginary darkness?
And what would be revealed in this dawn?
Could I bear the weight of light?
Of an intimacy I could not imagine?
The avalanche finished its job
And crushed the dreamer
Erased all light
And dark
Burnt all ideas of yesterdays and tomorrows
And anyone to have them
It was the death
Of anyone to die
This brilliant transparency
This piercing all encompassing naked light was always lit
I simply had not noticed this obvious beauty
Pouring through me as me
Weeping
There was no one who slept
No one who awakened...
To this amazing dream of light and shadow
Of long deep rivers
And tall mountain pines
Needles shimmering
Piercing deep blue skies
Catching the last golden rays of sunset
Where we waltz with our shadows on the canyon walls
Enchanted with love’s day dream
As it folds into night
Feathered moon glow soared through me
Impossible beauty sang my name
Winged sky enveloped me
My heart sank deep into the ground
Earth swallowed me
Swallowed beauty
Swallowed light
Swallowed love
There is no one to return to a home
Of distant memories
No one to be sucked into a void
No one to be everything
No one to be nothing...
No one to be this love of everything
This kiss of windblown sky
That sails across the vastness
And pirouettes into an image of a girl
A woman
A songster
A poet...
Twirling down the canyon in utter delight
Every word is a love letter
Written with blood
Signed with tears
Painted with rainbows
Sliding off the mirror
Falling through sky
The thought stream has changed considerably
before it was a constant self judgment and self correction
The constant question of how I am I how am I doing what am I feeling what can I do to make it last or what can I do to make it go away
The feeling that I was broken that others were broken that the world was broken...
How I should be
how others should be
how the world should be...
Knowing that there is no chooser nor anyone separate having thought or feeling or believe it is always known that right and wrong or made up
Instead there are songs flowing through me
no one sings them
no one writes them
there’s no hand to hold the pen...
And I long to send this jewel to you
And place it in your heart so you could feel this atemporal love explosion.
If anyone could see this unutterable beauty...
could feel this majesty of not knowing...
of no solidity
It would blow their mind so completely that they would think
“oh I cannot move I cannot do anything”
Totally stupefied
Yet life continues doing itself
just as it always had done...
It was never done or not done
Exquisite fluted fingers of light
Tendrils of emptiness
Untied the knots of hope and fear
The ground collapsed
Above and below
Inside and out
All distance
All measurement
All simply beautiful ideas
Like you and me and love
Winged lace of sky
Flows through sky
Liquid filigree of space
Pours through space...
I am a roomful of echoes
Without walls
Sourceless light bathes all and everything
In an infinite even glow
Inside and outside were a dream
A mirage of edgeless clouds
Never quite forming
Always dissolving
Of a ballerina
Twirling in the middle
I was an afterimage
That spun through the looking glass
Crashing the day time dream
Exploding all pictures of love
Of a home
And someone to return
There was no one wearing the layers of diaphanous satin and tulle
Or weeping as the costume faded
Into pure unformed brilliance
And no one weeping
When seeing through the dream
Was recognized
To be the dream
Never beginning
Never ending
Always beginning
Always ending
I was the clothes of hope and fear
Wrapped in tomorrow’s sky and dreams of yesterday
A pirouette of love and rainbows
Dancing
Endlessly
How was the fabric of my imaginary existence torn
Ripped and shredded?
Did I disappear?
How could what never existed
Not exist?
How could someone slide down the rainbow
And fall through the treasure
All was discovered to be the treasure
All colors collapsed
All solidity vanished
All light disappeared
All dark
All day
All night...
Midnight
Crickets sing
Dawn of the full moon
Weeping at the enormity
This vast emptiness
This fullness sliding through itself
This pure silence
Never heard
Always heard
All and everything
And nothing at all
The beauty
The beauty
The beauty
In a timeless arabesque
Empty of fallen angels
And all lovers
Lost and found
The song of no tomorrow
Called me
All demons and dragons
Perched on the edge of nowhere
Burnt leftover shadows
...Ashes on the sidewalk
Blew away in the winds of mind
Of sorrow and joy there was no postscript
No envelope of memory
To shred
No love letters
To rip apart a broken heart
No things to be broken
No things to mend
No clocks to follow
No sunset to chase
No sunrise...
Rainbows slid across the dam of hope and fear
Washed away all color and light...
Breaking Crystalline wings of light in light
Waves of sorrow and joy
—-water in water
Reflections of reflections
Shimmering pools of curtain-less eyes
Painting the wind streaming down the canyon
Painting my lover basking in the afternoon sun
Painting color and beauty
Painting wonder
Painting love
Winged ribbons of mirrored sky pierce the sound barrier
Hidden in the scream of midnight
Shattering the mirage
Of you
Laying on your doorstep
Broken
Bleeding
Blood runs into the ground
Bones bleached by hot desert suns
Dissolve into flowing sands
Scattered by the winds of no tomorrow
Echoes of wind
Could never fill this great emptiness
Collapsing into itself...
It was all an enchanting passion play...
Oasis of wind blown castles
Dissolving into its own reflection
Wind and light soaring
Cartwheeling up the canyon
Suspended as edgeless liquidity
A symphony of unbearable beauty
Flowing through me as me
The surround sound of love
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