Tuesday, June 23, 2020

You are the light of the world

caught in the collision between time and timelessness
between ideas of real and unreal
citidels of memory melted into a liquid dream scape of disphenous clouds forming and dissolving
surfing the trade winds of moon songs

mountains slowly waltz in this water land ballet 
I am the drifting of evening shadows 
flowing winds of joy and sorrow 
the ebb and tide of laughter
and tears
we are softly woven galaxies spinning fire in the absence of space and light 
oceans of sky reflection pouring through 
eons of timeless time soaring as feathered wings of wonder
we are the kiss of night and day
light and dark
freedom and non freedom
form and emptiness 

 trails of memory 
wisps of shadows
dissolving into light





and what words could sing of this vast infinite spaciousness
without space
this timeless-ness
without time
this absence of even emptiness....
this absence of absence.....
...and the utter devastating emptiness of the love that erased even itself... 

and oh my ...the fullness
knowing that all things are imaginary
knowing that you and love and all you have ever loved are simply wondrous thought dreams...
even these tears
even this wetness
even this...

ahhhhh...... the love of it all.... the love of the loving it all.....

between the between lies the nebula that cannot be seen or grasped or imagined as it is not a fire of light... or heat... but of an unfathomable love... 
a searing blast of love's heart magic that explodes and implodes simultaneously leaving not even ashes or wind to blow them away.... 

ambiguous words and phrases may make the head spin, but what spins the heart so that it loses all sense of time and direction....
so that there is nothing to be lost or found... forgotten or remembered.... held or abandoned...  
...so that love cannot find a home....
or clothes to wear
or wings to fly into your beating heart and dance with a rhythm that has no beat other than this song of echoes
that we are 
so that all and everything is felt to be simply a miracle painted by love...

and I am suspended as a slow pirouette... every pore of my being super saturated with sublime aliveness...

....this is love beyond any ideas of love
without boundaries or dimension...
without time or space or oneness or two-ness....
you know this you feel this and you long to be this...
and it is your longing to be this to capture this to hold this to be this love
that keeps you from discovering that you are



this is the thundering silence exquisitely singIng when all tomorrows have collapsed
into a mug of steaming tea on a cold mountain morning...
...a humming bird inspecting the chrysanthemums on my hat that I seemed to have crocheted
once
maybe...
no hands ever moved the yarn and hook...
there have never been crocheted flowers outside of this sumptuous rainbow dream
where countless shades of thought slide through waterfalls of color and
one thumb
softly tapping the glass screen...
I am the story of a girl a woman sitting watching morning spill into the silent dawn

without wind the pines have no song 
yet hidden among the high trees and low tangling bushes
birds announce the morning
shadows wait for the sun to hold them...
carpet of moon glow simply the dream of night fading into this flowing day time dream 

an unutterable symphony of perception where attention seems to move
and pause
...dance
and rest....

this is waves of torrential ecstasy softly lapping on the shores of an edgeless dream
I am a wind song that seems to beg to be sung
that longs to reach through your window and embrace your naked heart
just like this
we are love’s heart magic
beating...

there is no separation
no things to be apart
or to be joined...
this is the magic dance of one 
of two
of many
of none
this dance of sun and shadow
super saturated as perfection itself
in the absence of perfection and imperfection...

love washes away the script
that no one ever read
and all words fall gently into this stream
of nothing
of everything
where all your prayers dissolved
all letters fell apart
all sounds
all silence
all love
gently
flows
through itself

I am a lost and found
wind song
in wind





who dances under the sashay of moon
or is it moonlight pirouetting with itself?
waves of thought paint waves of moonlight crashing
on warm summer beaches
where lovers stroll looking for hidden places
filled only with moon

wind sweeps through the hollows
empty of moon
where your heart lingered
looking for love
looking for other 
looking for tomorrow
...which never came

the emptiness you feel inside cannot be avoided
it will crush you
eat your bones
down to the marrow of love
and suck out all the joy
and sorrow

love erases all that you thought was yours
and all that you believed was not yours
love crumbles the mightiest of fortresses, 
as well as the softness of moon shadows
flowing through deep dark nights
until not even ashes are left
nor winds to blow them away...

and somehow this undeniable vast measureless emptiness
blooms
into a love that encompass all things
an infinite intimate embrace of joy

there can be tears
seen and unseen
as you arise as a broken hearted beauty
love
unadorned

gossamer wings of moon and
wind sail through you
as you are moonlight and wind dancing






morning bird is her song
last breath of moon left her
alone
in the tall pines
waiting for another
to listen

wind has no voice
without trees
and your beautiful heart
to translate
wind
and trees
into wind song

love has no song
no voice 
without two hearts
to sing

one heart
is no heart
I do not exist without you
love requires two
yet there is no dividing love




the knowing of this magic
is the magic of life
and everyone knows love....

love arises only in our beautiful eyes
it dances in the shimmering space in between who we think we are
our shoes are empty
there is no dance floor
yet I can feel our imaginary lines merging and disappearing 
painted by love
dissolved in love
as even love evaporates
 
this waltz of shine and shadow
and colors
blooming
are the infinity of thought
blossoming
dancing with itself
what is lighter than thought
when light is a thought?

how deep is love
when there is no height
no depth
no surface or edge
no water
no wetness
in this ocean of love




night breathes softly
stars have no anchor
dreams of mariners track our stories
the are the shimmering in our eyes

we are shooting stars
ancient and new
burning before we touch the earth
there is no ground
nor sky
nor starlight streaming

silent footfalls leave no prints along thIs path of stars
wind dreams me
I dream of wind
night dreams of stars
stars dream of sleep

words are stars
windows of fire
created and connected in the milky way of thought 
we are stories of heroes and dragons and
starlight reflections
your blinding brilliance astounds me
and I weep

I find myself only in the light of your eyes
I love the dance of light we emerge in
we are star songs
blazing
and I love you for that

morning arches her back
sun slides through the trees adorning every eye with sky reflection
where does sky end and your eyes begin?
where are the stars in last night’s sky

do stars remember
or are we the remembering of stars?




paper bird unfolds her wings
ripping sky into feathers of light
my origami heart has no shape of its own
as love slid off the picture book from which it was formed, and unleashed itself from the shores of hope
and fear

I am a paper heart tattooed with love’s infinite expression 
my blood runs with the stories of all who ever loved and lost love... 
I soar with paper wings of sky
paper winds 
shred words into love letters
like this




morning streams through the towering pines
twisting and twirling spiraling upwards steam from my yellow mug...
elegant dragon tales emerge to the melody of unseen birds and the first tires on a distant road
like waves on a primordial beach

the magic of color and sound arise
as thought paints the dawn, along with a someone with eyes to recognize it’s beauty,  a heart to fall in love...
and the utter magnificence of this aliveness
this awareness of awareness
a double helix Möbius strip spinning stories with an empty center....

and it is our fading footprints that remind me that I have loved you since before there was a before...

we emerge only as this dance
of one
of two
of many 
of none
I am waterfalls of tears
sliding songs of rainbow dreams




Love’s delicate beauty 
cannot be grasped 
All words dissolve into
sound 
feathers





My heart is adorned with bits of broken shells and glass
fallen petals dancing
...a pirouette of reflected light
of all the faces I have ever loved
all the songs I have ever heard
every smile and every tear
every touch...
pouring into deep soundless canyons
where I dance in-between the waves.... 
Memories tossed in by the tides and wind 
catch the light in our eyes and reflect our beauty

Every word contains countless stories
Echoes of infinity embrace and reverberate through all words
We seem to emerge where the words intersect into songs, a flowing net of concepts overflowing in this dream of echoes

Billowy golden petals catch the canyon winds
Morning sweeps into the desert
I am wind singing in the towering pines
These songs will be heard as bits of shells and broken glass
Smoothed by the winds and tides of memory
in every heart that listens to wind songs.
This exchange of words, this sharing of stories...
is called love
And I emerge in the loving of you

My lover has placed rocks to smile at me as they reflect the morning’s smile
the world smiles back...
And I love him




We are magnificent stories 
Fairy tales of thought 
Kings and queens and frightened children 
Looking for love 
But stories are made up
Written with echoes
By the mind stream 
Which writes itself into this virtual reality 

We are less substantial than wind reflection flowing through the rear view mirror
But love 
Love must be real!
A wondrous thought treasure 
When treasure is a sparkling thought...

Love is the gem of the universe 
The architect of of our humanness 
Love is simply mirror images sliding through an imaginary middle
Erasing imaginary boundaries built by thought 

There is nothing underneath this mirrored reflection 
A flowing tapestry woven of thought
Never done or undone in its tattered majesty
Songs are it’s colors
Releasing these words into wind and sky
So that they take on the sound of another’s magic...
And there are no others
And there is no singer
No wind 
No sky
Not even this rippling magic of wonder
Saturating this beautiful dream 

Yet I dance amongst the ruins of imaginary castles 
Fortresses of thought that crumbled into the images of stones they were built from 
Long grasses and young blood red flowers waving in the wind
Like us, rippling waves of thought....
And fall in love 

I am a tuning fork for wind 
My heart an elegant fluted echo chamber 
Formed by the wind songs it sings

I am a rainbow dream drifting in moon song 
Soaring through painted winds 

Liquidity of life 
Dissolves into itself 
I am a waking dream of leaf shadows flowing across the sidewalk 
Fading into night

And what can be said about this dream
That dreams itself
When this dream is a dream is a dream is a....

Soundless echoes sliding through the caverns of mind drifting day dreams into halls of wonder reverberating into a seamless dream scape of time and place and colors... 

infinite permutations of ecstasy spiraling outwards and inwards without a center or edge or place to begin or end, where a tidal wave of awe is the back beat to all dream songs.... slow or fast, rhythmic or not 
A melody that sings us all
Paints smiles and heartache and laugher and love 
and harsh words and lullabies and soft gentle moon light fading into dawn.... 

And the tall pines hold secrets that only the wind knows
Your heart knows that this vast emptiness is true
It also knows that love and truth are a dream song 
And that there is no next 
Love and hate...
Deep deep sorrow, abject despair and overwhelming waves of joy are the colors of the dream 
They have no more substance than thought itself which seems to paint a you in the center of these swirling colors
How wide how deep is thought
When depth is thought?
When thought is thought....
Who looks for love when love is the looking 
Thought circles itself
And you, the imaginary center of this thought dream will never find the heart of this obvious magic 
You are it... 

It is you who breathes silence into the forest
and starlight sparkling through the trees 
the first bird has no song without you 
There is no voice 
Heard or unheard without yours....

Without your eyes there is no darkness 
or light
or Dawn blossoming into day
you are the magic of imaginary separation 
Without which there are no separate notes
No melody 
No silence 
Breathing 

Everywhere you look
The universe appears 
You are the light
The beauty 
The love
You are the light of the world

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