Tuesday, April 27, 2021

I am this poem

 


the flood gates of hope and fear are forever released into endless ocean and you drown in the sea of love

love’s feathered softness blooms in your heart erasing all edges between you and the dream of love where you soar, no longer needing wings, suspended as naked sky… 

sparkling aliveness sings and there is no finding any place or time or reference points whatsoever….  you are dissolved into nothing at all, and the dream, continues, simply sky and wind feathered clouds 

drifting as boundless ocean…

in love as love though love the dream sings

just like this she whispers your name

in a foreign tongue

only the heart knows



ripples of loveliness melt through your body

and you are the rippling reflection of nothing sliding through nothing

infinite seamlessness swallows the horizon and nestles in the heartbreak of moon


the quest to understand ends

as the wind gently caresses your beautiful face...

tears still flow.... 

reflecting endless sky















the hum of silence that was always there explodes into a symphony of wonder

this sparkling unknowing leaves you suspended as the hush

yet when knowing is required, the imaginary lines seem to take shape

time and space are born

someone calls my name and I answer

feeling that there is no one here or there


yet a seamless dance of reflections 

of light and color and echoes of love seem to shimmer

someone points to the sea or the clouds and remarks on the beauty

it is remarkable that all and everything can appear and feel beautiful 

and there are no things at all….

and no one to know or not know…


it feels like I am an echo of a dream that was felt long long ago

reverberating through an atemporal dream scape

a flowing mirage no longer longing to drink from its own water

or bathe in its own brilliance 

and why is this so unspeakably wondrous

why does this feel like love

there are no questions nor answers

it is the unknowableness of what love and beauty are

that make life so devastatingly beautiful

wind

blows

but does not dry these tears

this sensuous love spell that swallowed me

sings













elegant fluidity of sublime stillness

hums

you can feel this obvious aliveness

looking and feeling like whatever seems to appear


all of life is rippling reflections of mirrored beauty

drowning in its own sensuousness

extending infinitely without space

nakedly intimate it collapses into itself

 without a center

neither empty

nor full

nor anything in-between 


seamless edgeless-ness without lack

emptiness without emptiness

yet including all things

joy and sorrow arise ease-fully and equally

bottomless

tears

cannot hold rainbows

nor can the sky

grasp the wind

or your heart

prevent love’s flowering

and the collapse of all ideas of love























I am an echo drowning in a waterfall of sound

sun and wind and sky melt into deep deep currents of ocean

sea falls into sky

time and space are suspended

were they ever?

were you ever?

feathered softness streams through you as you soar, wingless,

skinless...



love sings her hypnotic rippling enchantment

all and everything seem to appear

unspeakably beautiful 

measureless 

awe

that there are no things, not even love

yet here we are, falling

in, as, and through love













she dissolved into her own echo

yet she had never been













petals of sunset fall through your eyes

night dreams bloom through the day time dream

you find you are the enchantment

of a dream spell

a song of lost and found words

the notes disappear as they swoon through circular love dreams

never hidden

nor revealed

this song pouring through your heart

was never yours


no one is twirling in this dream skirt of starlight

or spins galaxies under the mirroring sky

eons of songs weave a bower of space

and time

echoes drift through forgotten moons

there are no shadows

to lose

or find

all has slipped through your fingers

including the grasping

and your fingers

and the emptiness in-between




all ideas of love collapse and you lose and find yourself as the overflowing sumptuousness of liquid moon



all and everything is consumed in love’s terrible fire

as love

undresses herself

and steps into her own flames

born and extinguished in endless ocean

you were simply an echo of a rippling dream

all is dream

there is no dream 


drifting in the wilderness

a forest of empty shadows shimmers in its own light

the world floats

untethered

wind flows through you

unencumbered

you are wind

there is no wind





wing tips

brushing wind into whirlpools 

soaring nakedly together 

never touching 

never separate

sky swallows sky




echoes of transparency slide through transparency

rippling dreamscape erupts and dissolves…

there is no beginning or end to the songs that sing you

nor pause in-between where you can turn around and find yourself,

or wrap lassos of moon around your tongue

to taste the loveliness of your own song


the softness of reflections

pours

through your eyes

brillant glistening mirrors

where wetness slips into wetness

and love recognizes love



slowly 

swiftly 

waves of reflections 

swirl and dance into a flowing dreamscape

an enchanted wonderland

without other

neither forever nor never

neither moving nor stable

without any substance at all

neither existing

nor non existing

the dance does itself

yet we seem to hold hands

and dissolve in the seamless wonder of love












and of this impenetrable wonder no one can speak

as there is no one behind the words


no one is singing this song

weaving rainbows into endless sky


ribbons of words paint dragon clouds

dissolving as they almost form

wings soar into nothing at all


dream memories fade as they emerge

and there is no losing or finding

echos of sun filled days

and wind shadows racing down the canyon


the utter intimacy of this tender poem

delicate petals

falling into subtle waves of softness

lapping on the shores of nowhere

and everywhere

where you once stood

waiting for an answer

to what you cannot remember


there are no footprints left to fill

or blow away

wind soars through you

you are wind

dancing




















slowly

softly

day settles into the dawn of night

stars are strewn across the vault of sky

they shimmer only in your eyes

...how could you be separate from starlight?


you are an echo’s dream catapulting through the enchantment of golden rushes blooming

deeply breathing the magical scent of aliveness

as it breathes you


the imaginary division between the ordinary and sublime can no longer be found

sun streams through you and you are sparkling light

dancing

edgeless rippling reflections pouring through boundless seas

Inside and out are lost in the mirroring of sun and moon


what is lost?

what is found?

nothing ever was....

or will be

you never were, there is nothing here, nor there

there is no here nor there

you are a liquid portrait of wind falling through a swirling ballet of wind

and sea

and sky

you are memory

flowing in this dream dance of one of two of many of

none

as we find and lose ourselves in love's undeniable light














liquid breath of evening pours through your heart 

light

dark

in breath

out breath 

without pause or time

you can feel the heartbeat of the universe

and it is not separate from you


this floating world is breathing

pulsating obvious aliveness

without a before or after

the sigh swallows light and dark

and all time in between

this love consumes even itself

and yet the dance continues

twisting swirling rushing roaring in you through you as you

boundless aliveness

sings

edgeless life cannot capture itself

elusive unknowable

looking and feeling like anything at all

 suspended as an ocean of love

rippling currents warm and cool

light pours through light

but it is only reflections

of reflections

and I am the echoed enchantment of this dream song

dreaming itself



















you know of the emptiness I sing

it beckons you as you run away…

…and the running is utterly empty

and the longing

utterly empty

trying to avoid it or embrace it becomes what defines you


as this edgeless infinite vastness without space or direction is already the case,

and includes whatever life seems to look or feel like,

how can it recognize itself when there is no it?


this all consuming emptiness may consume you

some feel every bite

the sharp eviscerating teeth ripping away your flesh your bones

its immense maw drinking your blood

it hurts like hell

yet I call this the ultimate love

as it consumes even itself

as you and your world are sucked in forever

meaning and non meaning become a foreign language

indecipherable lines and squiggles that beautifully dance through the mind stream

all thought and feeling 

all of life

simply seemingly happening as before

but felt to be dream like

and realer than real


I am the tailwinds of desire 

and the ache of the evening

petals of softness fall through my eyes 

ocean of love dreams itself

we are wings of joy and sorrow

in an atemporal kiss

nothing meets or falls apart

the horizon never held the sea from sky

or me from you

empty love washes away tides of moon

as we swoon through endless ocean


rain

all night

breath of my lover


tears fall

this heart was never mine

sky falls into sky

I am the hum of ancient voices

moonlight nakedly slipping into waves of reflections

echoes of primordial starlight pouring through endless seas


this song of unthinkable wonder is this very ordinary sublime life

photographs cracked and fading in the noon day sun

tides wash away my footfalls

or are these tears

I can no longer tell

this seamless unbound dance

this arabesque of light

swooning through light


this obvious beauty

pours through itself

you can feel this aliveness 

this rush of life

there is no other


memory is yesterdays kisses melting into this sensuous hush 

that baths the dream spell in unspeakable light

infinite petals unfolding

colors blooming and falling through cascades of rainbows

a surround sound symphony within and without

there are no sides to this poem


the windows between inside and outside have no glass

simply an imaginary membrane of thought

a liquid transparent mirror

light pouring through light falls through a prism a gem a treasure

called you

there are no sides to the horizon

robin song
finches
this chorus of beauty 

....ahhhhhhhhhhh

thought creates an ocean of love and dolphins

jumping

and currents

warm and cool

and ripples and waves and

tides

breathing

and light shimmering and dark unseen places and

colors

blooming

and tears

falling















we are simply filagrees of thought... 

tendrils of emptiness twirl and twine and seem to weave a bower where you can rest...

but the whole shaboogie is recognized to be nothing more or less than a dream within a dream,... 

baseless reflections shimmering.... 

we are mirrors for each others eyes... 

echoes of echos of echoes... 


do you fall through or are you as substantial as thought? 

what about falling.... 

is not that a thought also? 

what is not thought? what is? 

who knows anything more or less about what is not a what?

is there anyone separate to know

or not?




















I am this rush this flow this river of thought

joyfully splashing and playing in its own wetness

amazed at the wonder of its own whirl pooling magic

resting in cool deep eddies under low hanging brambles

lazily floating through warm currents 

enchanted with the seamless wonder that reveals itself

in the sensuousness of its own aliveness


looking up and down through shimmering reflections

there is no surface

or sandy bottom

there is no place from which I have come

and there is no where I can go

as time has evaporated into endless spaciousness

as well as space


sliding through my own sparkling

neither moving nor still

without sound or silence 

or anything in between


I am the passion play

the thirst of desire

drinking itself

with every word


there is no outside to this play of words that is beyond space and time

 this song of echoes dances my heart

utterly intimate 

utterly impersonal

beyond freedom or bondage

beyond all ideas of beyond

the river collapses into its own echo

where it never began













love explodes infinitely into a piercing intimacy

and is the end of all belief in you and other

inside and out

this and that

meaning and non meaning

sublime and ordinary


the end of belief in separation is the end of the feeling of separation

life doesn’t change

there never were separate things and events

there never was a you 

there never was a thing called love

or tears

pouring

drop by drop

evaporating on your cheeks


tears still fall

but there is no looking for the source of ocean

it’s all ocean


tapestry of song

weaves and tatters the wind

rips your heart into pieces

you will never be mended

you never were


this all consuming hush

cannot know itself

love recognizes love

but does not know what love is

there is no love separate from you

nor you separate from love













 

after a life time of trying to step out of myself...

I found myself on an endless flight

plane-less

skinless

soaring

suspended...

no down no up

no out no in

no beginning

no destination


memories are like the little villages I can almost see

did I live there once?

did anyone?

real and unreal...

meaning and non meaning...

like wind and traces of clouds that seem to pass through me

as I am clouds and wind dancing

and all is bathed in endless sunset

this is the magic hour


we are this endless flowing

neither moving nor still

the utter wetness of these very words dissolving into themselves

this seamless web of wonder simultaneously crystalizing and vaporizing….

a waterfall of color and sound falling through their reflections and echos

there is no one separate to dive in or emerge from this stream of love to sing of it

no silence or sound can capture it

for this brilliant immediacy has no inside or out

there are no edges to this life that sings itself

this love was never mine


I am this river of words

tenderly these words caress me into a love song

twirling down the side walk


last robin 

darkness bleeds into light

light into dark

and who will dance this light into your eyes

or are you already starlight

dancing?









slip stream of life pours through itself

ripples dancing

echoes blooming

love singing

this is it this is it this is it

this is the love you have longed for


it was simply your ideas of love that seemed to hide her beautiful wings

that beat your heart

that blinded you to love’s iridescent rainbows

anointing your tears

you could not hear her gentle song that passionately

kissed your lips

as you have always been the kiss of love


you could not hear her sublime voice

that filled you

and emptied you

as you were trying to listen

to the listening


life, just as it seems to appear, is all I have ever longed for

including the longing

all and everything a continual kiss of light

in light























how fast the stars

how slow the light

what of our lives

hurtling towards death?

…and what of the fresh spring leaves

falling?


you were the looking for the chords of the song of light

aching for a transfusion

of better blood

more life

more love….


but the stars reached down and gathered your memories

and left you on an empty beach

longing for starlight


no one can be found who lives or dies

or hovers

drenched in starlight

we are drifting dream songs of wind in wind

echoes ricocheting across the horizon

tumbling through oceans of sky


love’s song sears you etches you into your own edgeless embrace

she tattoos your name in the wind

and you lose the self you never had

yet always are

her arms her voice her passion

is yours

there is no one to hold her or become her,

or hold her echo for the wind to take

freely now

I nakedly give myself

I exist only in the singing
















tossed through the whirlwind of all and everything

dissolved into nothing at all

were there ever any sides to this story?

a void or a world where someone once lived

and loved

who fell through the looking glass and found no one looking

no one peering into the mirror

and no reflection

no sides no middle

no one to fall

no where to land


yet this girl seems to dance and sing

just as real as this whirl wind ballet where the stars have lost their tethers and swing wildly in the sky


starlight rains through me

just as easily as tears

robins have begun their morning song

I can feel the wind through the darkened glass

blowing the night away

























cold spring rain

slanting down

slashing the windows

drowning the ground

burying the afternoon

in dreams of summers past

and those that will never come

erasing all the paths of your life

that never led anyone to this day


finches hang upside down at the feeders

warm in their yellowy down

the neighbors cat and I are conspicuously absent

in this rainy day song


time looses her anchor

earth spins into its own reflection

love falls through the mirror 

arabesque of light is sucked into a whirlpool of echoes…

whose song is it

that erupts from this empty chest?



it seems that the underlying knowing feeling that life is magic, as it obviously self arises and self erases and never actually appears and simultaneously does not not appear.... lends itself, when the imaginary self is felt to be stable, to a feeling that this un-capturable life seems to be passing us by too fast, as we find ourselves plunging headlong into death….

 

there is an impossible grasping for this magic... and a lifetime, so to speak, of trying to gather life, to save it, to bathe in the magic that cannot be separated from the liquid dream spell which is all we can ever know, as we are not separate from the magic, or love…

we are it

the recognition that there is no other better more or next

and no separate things or events whatsoever

feels like a love beyond all ideas of love

and this is the obvious magic that cannot be lost

or found

or gathered into petals and pressed between the pages of a book









I am this poem running through the meadow

this ache of unborn flowers under the snow

the rush of distant cities

towering castles

ancient and new


light gently sharply defining the path to the end of all tomorrows

the weary traveler 

bathing in leftover sun

wind sweeping

an abandoned beach

shadows hovering and dissolving into a piercing brilliance

the memory of an endless desert

dusting mirages on a dream road

with water I can never drink

that intoxicate me

this overwhelming love is

the enchantment that I am

…this breath of memories

kissing the sand

leaving no footprint

…rippling shallow seas

leaving no wake

between nothing

and nowhere

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