Sunday, June 2, 2019

Wild Love

wild love spills into the canyon
swathed in terror and grief and loneliness and ecstasy 
she embraces all and everything
swallows all light and shadow
consumes every shred of memory
is burnt in her own pyre
and dances on her grave

clothed in her own ashes
in her dance of madness
she weeps at her own beauty
her tears flung to the edge of no tomorrow
her ashes dissolved again in her own love

her devastation is the treasure
that everyone fears
and longs for
'it is you I come for
to embrace in the final embrace'
you spin around
to find no one there
not even a mirror
to fall through 

no one singing
these bone chilling words
it is only the echo of your own heart
speaking in tongues
in its own language
that has held you since you can remember
in your own embrace


I am not trying to obfuscate the truth 
I am saying there is no thing called truth 
All words including these paint the dream of objectified separation

distant storm 
barely heard
calls forth deep secrets
you tried to forget
you do not wish to listen to your own heart breaking

scent of thunder
resonates in your bones
sunset bursts the flowing grasses
and your hidden heart
into flames

deep deep despair and sorrow
at this loss of all tomorrows
grief slays the very marrow of solitude
this loss of yesterday's daydream

no one held the day
no one holds this night
no one loses 
or wins
yet something walks away from the battle
weeping
in love with this love
that no one holds
yet holds all
there are no edges to this embrace
no sides
nor middle

there are no words
neither god
nor emptiness
nor love
there is no self
nor other
not even one big Self 

there is no unifying field
there are no things to hold together
no one thing
to break apart
the intuiting of this seamless flow
feels like love 

to know that you and all you have loved
are wisps of flowing memory
painted with sky 
in sky
paints a sublime melancholy
that feels like love
beyond any ideas of love

an empty heart cannot bleed
but blood flows
wind blows
tears fall
the dream is painted with echoes
that have no center nor source

can you hear me sing
or is it your own voice
echoing across the canyon?

whose heart song is this?
where does the book open
when your heart is ripped inside out?
who reads the words
that no one can hear
unless you speak
with wavering clarity
the words you long to hear
the three most beautiful words
I love you


this and that 
the bird wings of desire
what dances inside your chest
and longs for freedom
weeping of long summer days
in the long winter night?

who wanders on the edge of darkness
but a seeker of light
an empty shadow
longing to be burnt

the flames of desire
will consume you
and there will be no one waiting for the death of tomorrow 
just the beauty
of this silent ache
the wondrousness
of our shared humanness 
and love's song
bursting 
your forever broken heart
the flip side of love is love



sublime sorrow moved in
like a long lost lover returning
bringing flowers
and the contents of his heart
whispering secrets that only lovers know
but cannot discern from the wind
and the sun and the moon 
and distant birds 
so high in the light no one can say their name...
soaring across unending sky

these words are a love song
of joy and sorrow trembling on the edge of an echo
of light and dark waltzing
a continual kiss without sides
or middle

these words have no letters that do not spell love
all clickety consonants 
and round rolling vowels
that spill from this mouth
are love stories
decorating flowing cloud castles
blossoming and dissolving 
sky melting into sky
hearts into hearts
love into love 

shimmering love 
lights the stars in my eyes
there is no distance
just an imaginary two step
a call and answer love song
water bird diving into the morning sea
pirouetting with her reflection
we meet in the splash
of love's echo


what calls you from the dark?
what beckons from the light?
the fire of your own love
longs to consume you
to tear your flesh
to drink your blood
to gnaw on your bones
expose the marrow of love
to its own flames
burning all ideas of inside
and outside
and anything before
and after
love

this loneliness
this vast emptiness
that you have run away from your whole life
is calling your name
you cannot help but turn
to face the fire of your own love

what breaks the mirror
and reveals that there are no sides to love?
nor middle to find safety

when there is no more looking for handholds
they disappear
so does the grasping
the trying to hold love

it is all empty 
beyond any concepts of emptiness
it is all love
beyond any ideas of love
there are no words
that do not seem to divide the sky into infinite shards
words are mirrors dancing
words referencing words...
beautiful reflections swirling around the biggest illusion of all
you


seekers are their ideas about enlightenment




its just so amazing to be this sparkling amazement and nothing at all... when there is no one to be amazed.... watching the thought stream paint the dream...
what is watching when there is no one here... is it the brain watching the thought it creates? it never feels like two things, or one...
all attempts to speak of this explode the boundaries of thought, yet it seems to circle around itself and spiral into more amazement


this shift occurs when the brain, which paints the objectified world of this and that, realizes that it has thrown a net across the physical world, an imaginary overlay, and that there are no actual things or selves. that this imaginary persona cannot do nor not do anything or nothing, that there are no separate moments (time), no separate events or actions, no this nor that nor both nor neither. 

it also is realized that this mentally fabricated world is the only world in which there is awareness of being aware. 
suddenly or over time there is simply looking out at a world of things and thing-less ness and a there is a constant amazement at the beauty of this indescribable unknowability of sublime edgeless-ness, amazed at this amazement, at this thought stream seemingly creating all things, including love.
there is a wondrous feeling of the joy and love of simply being...
no matter what it looks or feels like

there is never anyone to buy into the dream
it was only a dream that there was a separate person who believed that they could attain enlightenment....
it is all dream...

how or why enlightenment occurs is part of this sublime unknowable unknown... 
it certainly does not provide any evolutionary benefit 
that is why it is so rare
I would not want someone like me to be in charge! lol someone who loves everyone... sees the world as a three d edgeless flowing light tapestry, who sees it all as beautiful as amazing....



and one day light wove itself into a saber and pierced my world
the very horizon broke into endless blue
and I could not tell up from down
joy from sorrow
she shattered the sun and moon and my heart into smithereens
facets of all I had known and loved blew into sky
blue their only reflection
erasing my lines on the page
my story wept 
as love swirled light and dark in her mouth and drank deeply

she untied all the all the secret places where I tried to hide my knowing
and my fear of unknowing
my fear of the dark
and light
this fear of death
and love

I dared not look into 
this deep dark cavern where everything sacred lay
for fear that it was empty
or it was so full it would explode 
and smother me in its sheer grandeur
rob me of my riches
and strip me of my nakedness
bury me in its wondrous
all consuming love

who or what would be left
to sing of love
and this mystery of our aliveness?
to dance this waltz of madness
that danced me into endless clouds and sky and swirling tree tops?
what if there were no sun to warm my tears
wind to dry them?

no one owns this wondrous unknowing
this sublime emptiness
you could say I am wind dancing
as we twirl down the canyon of love
but even though thousands of words seem to stream through me
I cannot find anything at all 
not even a vague memory of my reflection 
without you



There is nothing here 
Nor there 
Just a dream of a transparent light ballet
Flowing through itself 
A passion play written with sky in sky 
Shimmering endless seas kissing non existent shores 
Blossoming sea scapes of wind in wind 
Dissolving in the summer sun


no one to be everything or nothing 
no center to be empty or full
Yet here we are twirling rainbows down the canyon


our brains are probably wired to be attracted to sweet smells for getting fruit... they are attracted to vibrant color to find fruit and vegetables. (That’s why we are attracted to m&n’s)....

But beauty.... now that’s another thing. 
To be attracted to what we call beauty... 
To know that it is beautiful... 
To know that we know it’s beautiful... 
to not know what defines beauty 
Or love 
But to know it sooooo deeply ....
tears 

It’s such an amazing thing to see everything as beautiful...
To see everyone as beautiful....
To fall in love all day....
Constantly... 
it’s the stunning-ness of seeing it all as for the first time... 
stuptified 
The impossibility of singing of it 
Yet the beauty of our attempts is 
Well 
Beautiful


feather falls slowly
kisses its reflection on the stream
flows down canyon...

I am the memory of soft kisses
love and love lost
blooming and wilting 
clouds merge and dissolve
I am a drifting daydream 
not separate from night

sky falls 
echoes my name
my face is etched with fire and ice
my heart a river
with no source
or end

shadows leave no footprint on time
there are no shadows in the dark
there is no time or non time
no movement nor non movement 
there are no rivers with out banks
no flow without imaginary edges
there is no light without our eyes


once it is seen that there are no separate events then causality and looking for it falls away. but as long as there is belief in separation then there is the feeling of separation... 
if there is thought it feels like there is a thinker,
if there is feeling it FEELS like there is a feeler and so on.... 
if there is, well, ALL THIS, well there must be a god or 'existence', or 'ground of being'

it feels like there is a doer of action, that there are separate actions and separate moments, someone to become enlightened, and a goal to reach, a distance to cross....

when the belief in separation ends, the feeling of it ends, and it is known and felt that all thingness, selves, mountains clouds, are mentally fabricated...

some apparent things refer to the physical world like mountains and rocks, and some to things purely imaginary like selves, and others,,, yet you remain as an imaginary self... you cannot exist as a non self... it is apparent that there is not even nothing as well as all this.... 

knowing that you and me and love is made up, however, is not the end of love.... it is the beginning


what a sage says is relevant only to the ever emerging momentary and she may contradict herself many times.... but her words often skip the mind out of its usual grooves of assumed knowing... confusion is a wonderful tool. however nothing said by a sage will cause enlightenment. as there are no separate events to be caused. 
ALL this and that is made up.

this dream of objectified separation, of separate things and moments and events, all qualities characteristics, time dimension causality, ALL measurement is a description that occurs in that thing you call your brain. It is all mentally fabricated, like you. you and all thingness arise in the thought stream. 
you are the thought stream.

that is why when thought ceases all things, including you, disappear. there is not even any 'knowing' that there has been a thought free state until thought returns!

there is no escape from this shared dream of separation as outside and inside, like all this and that, are made up
you are the dream

anything said about the dream paints the dream
including this

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