although we all know this aliveness we feel so deeply....it is apparent
in and through this ongoing symphony of what we call perception that has
no edges or separate parts ..... there are no words that can even touch
that which we all know.....and our feelings that have no edges yet can
pierce us deeply.....what would life be like without them..... we call
them fear and anger and love.....yet without names they are simply a
profound current where joy and sorrow merge .....it pulls us into its
mysterious grasp and drowns us.......and we can no longer find a feeler
or a feeling but a unbounded stillness where love and lover and loved
are us
Transparent seamless beingness twisted itself into ropes of hope and fear
***** a longitude and latutude of hunger
and called itself you
Mostly the wind simply blows across the empty seas
But when it hears a wave trying to drown itself
It sings
The deep heart current where joy and sorrow merge is what we are
it pulls you along
it is a bottomless treasure chest
the words slide off the mirror and you fall through
the lines of distinction blend ...and there is no more looking for source or reason
falling
off the edge of reason....the lines between this and that....me and
you....space and solid.....here and there..... simply disappear
just this....exploding into sublime chorus of unexplainable wonder////touching us deeply it is us
plunges into your heart and grabs you
The deep heart current where joy and sorrow merge is what we are
it pulls you along
it is a bottomless treasure chest
and
there is no advice I can give you that will help you recognize this
sublime quiescence of intuited unicity that is always on yet rarely
noticed
it is simply uncaused just as all of life.....
here this profound untouchable peace is always on along with an unending awe that subsumes all and everything
it is the end of the search the end of all feeling of effort the end of all feeling of a doer
there is a bittersweet aloneness knowing there is no other
yet the joy of simply being
the rush the roar of aliveness
permeating every waking moment
outshines the aloneness
Mostly the wind simply blows across the empty seas
But when it hears a wave trying to drown itself
It sings
The deep heart current where joy and sorrow merge is what we are
it pulls you along
it is a bottomless treasure chest
Transparent seamless beingness twisted itself into ropes of hope and fear
***** a longitude and latitude of hunger
and called itself you
.....and she sang of moonbeams and she sang of shadows ....dissolving into each other....
....and she swam in the deep heart current where joy and sorrow merge...
...and
she danced on silent stars ....shooting through the endless skies
....and no amount of twisting will gather light into darkness....songs
merely heighten the intensity of this amazing seamless blending of what
is beyond understanding .....emerging submerging richness of
nothing....dancing as everything ....
the words slide off the mirror and you fall through
the lines of distinction blend ...and there is no more looking for source or reason
falling
off the edge of reason....the lines between this and that....me and
you....space and solid.....here and there..... simply disappear
just this....exploding into sublime chorus of unexplainable wonder////touching us deeply it is us
plunges into your heart and grabs you
and
he looks and researches in every nook and cranny for a glue a reason to
try to figure out what's going on .....where is his place in the
dance.....
and building his castle of sand of ideas of imaginary
building blocks higher and higher....looking for safety and yet longing
to be ripped apart.....
perhaps he will find an airtight
intellectual understanding....of wavicles and black holes and gods and
devils.......a tapestry of who done it
yet perhaps he may find a ripper a shredder an unfolder a lover
who may yank his uncertainty out from under him
and reveal his emptiness
and fullness
his shinning brilliance
and
that faint memory that essence floating through like a sweet summers
breeze pulled him along .....like a light in the dark he could not see
it directly it was always just to the side of where ever he looked....
and
he thought he could learn to look.... he tried every method he could
searched high and low and inside and out for a way to measure the
universe to capture it to know it to be it
that which he knew without a doubt to be true.....
and one day without any effort .....the ruler of time broke loose and the web of tears that had held back the sun fell .......
and
he found he was the light the magic he had been longing for...it was an
idea a painting on the window that seemed to separate himself from
himself
and life does it self without a receipe.... so delicious....
through us it tastes itself
He realized that he was just a thought a belief that there was something unchanging
He had believed that 'he' had seen through the charade of self
And fell into the imaginary true self
we
are not speaking about improving the dream....or escaping it.....
enlightenment is realizing that this is it there is no escape always
just as it is
and yes we speak from the dream of separation.... that's how we can chat like this
we
are assumptions ....beliefs and preferences ....yet they can be seen as
such.... illusionary building blocks of knowing..... creating imaginary
separation..... imaginary characters in a passion play that writes
itself....there is only the dream there is no escape but the walls can
become transparent
OK go twenty thousand miles thataway**""""
Or,,,,,, sit on that rock as and twist your body into all these shapes
Or
Try to be or say or do this
Or my favorite from the meditation teachers
Shut up!
And give me your money
All perpetuating the illusion that you need to get something
And there is a you who can do it
All 'teaching' of enlightenment proposes that there is an other and a you who can do or not do something to get it
When enlightenment is seeing there is no other nor personal volition
All effort and non effort perpetuates the illusion of separation
Yet**** how can ya stop doing
And non doing?
efforting to stop efforting.....round and round and round we spin .... turning twisting weaving a web shutting out the light
And
when the center of the cyclone disappears ****it is simply a story
unowned ****spinning weaving itself with gossamer shreds of emptiness
Meaning nothing
Yet feeling deeply
Moonlit shadows sang her steps into a dance where time leapt from the pages and place could not find itself
She could not look behind her as everwhere had fallen through nowhere
Where was her breath where was the moon where was her shadow?
Oh! It was dancing on a hint of a breeze in the tree tops shining
******in the golden dreams that had crashed
Toppled crystal castles
Leaving only a memory of a shimmering
An echo that used to know
And his shadow precedes him on this moonless night ****island breezes wash through him
And where was his partner in this dance for no one where were the waves after they crashed on the rocks
Silently thunder sings of the storm
Where was the shipwreck
Whose tears were sliding down his cheeks
And she yearned to stitch the the sun to the sky and hang it in her heart forever
But it sank like moonbeams into the silence
And swallowed her needlework
Leaving an emptiness that nothing could fill
She could no longer find a pocket to put her heart in
*****and the endless night rushed through her into an ever emerging dawn
and
that faint memory that essence floating through like a sweet summers
breeze pulled him along .....like a light in the dark he could not see
it directly it was always just to the side of where ever he looked....
and
he thought he could learn to look.... he tried every method he could
searched high and low and inside and out for a way to measure the
universe to capture it to know it to be it
that which he knew without a doubt to be true.....
and one day without any effort .....the ruler of time broke loose and the web of tears that had held back the sun fell .......
and
he found he was the light the magic he had been longing for...it was an
idea a painting on the window that seemed to separate himself from
himself
No trying to change or fix life or self or the world
No where to go no thing to get
no one to try or do
They sang of seamless beingness they sang of effortlessness
And I tried to achieve effortlessness
And endless knot spinning itself tighter and tighter
Sometimes
Without any effort the knots untie themselves
It is seen that they never existed
It is far too simple
Edgelessness cannot be grasped
What has no other cannot touch itself
Except In imaginary twoness
As soon as the idea of self of separation is born
It feels hope and fear
Fear that it will end and hope that it won't
So it gathers more beliefs to build a wall of protection
And the higher the walls the greater the fear
The more exhausting
And painful
The more it must spin
It is an endless spinning that creates its own urgency to spin
Yet the tapestry is only an illusion
Trying to quench your thirst from a TV add for wine
The taste is never sweet
And imaginary walls can be seen through
And the effort to maintain and defend them ends
there is no you without song you are the song it sings itself
and yet without intervals there is no melody.....
it
is in this imaginary twoness where this can meet that and everything
kisses nothing and here touches now and up slides into down......inside
falls through outside
.....and love oh my love.....
And his shadow precedes him on this moonless night ****island breezes wash through him
And where was his partner in this dance for no one where were the waves after they crashed on the rocks
Silently thunder sings of the storm
Where was the shipwreck
Whose tears were sliding down his cheeks
And she yearned to stitch the the sun to the sky and hang it in her heart forever
But it sank like moonbeams into the silence
And swallowed her needlework
Leaving an emptiness that nothing could fill
She could no longer find a pocket to put her heart in
*****and the endless night rushed through her into an ever emerging dawn
All 'teaching' of enlightenment proposes that there is an other and a you who can do or not do something to get it
When enlightenment is seeing there is no other nor personal volition
All effort and non effort perpetuates the illusion of separation
Yet**** how can ya stop doing
And non doing?
As soon as the idea of self of separation is born
It feels hope and fear
Fear that it will end and hope that it won't
So it gathers more beliefs to build a wall of protection
And the higher the walls the greater the fear ...
The more exhausting
And painful
The more it must spin
It is an endless spinning that creates its own urgency to spin
Yet the tapestry is only an illusion
Trying to quench your thirst from a TV add for wine
The taste is never sweet
And imaginary walls can be seen through
And the effort to maintain and defend them ends
He realized that he was just a thought a belief that there was something unchanging
He had believed that 'he' had seen through the charade of self
And fell into the imaginary true self
It is far too simple
Edgelessness cannot be grasped
What has no other cannot touch itself
Except In imaginary twoness
OK go twenty thousand miles thataway**""""
Or,,,,,, sit on that rock as and twist your body into all these shapes
Or
Try to be or say or do this
Or my favorite from the meditation teachers...
Shut up!
And give me your money
All perpetuating the illusion that you need to get something
And there is a you who can do it
They sang of seamless beingness they sang of effortlessness
And I tried to achieve effortlessness
An endless knot spinning itself tighter and tighter
Sometimes
Without any effort the knots untie themselves
It is seen that they never existed
After the shift
There is simply no place for it to arise
It is realer than real clearer than clear
Always apparent
There needs no reminding nor confirmation
And there is no concern for the beliefs and opinions of others
....you are the space between your lips and a kiss .....
.....between breath and song ...
....between sun and shadow
This is more intimate than your tongue in your mouth ....your breath ....your heartbeat .....
The razor of thought cannot stitch together what it appeared to separate
An imaginary self cannot do nor not do anything to see that it is made up
Trying to define what has no parts
to grasp what has no edges
Looking for the source of light when light is everywhere
There simply are no separate things
What's going on is not a co depandent arising nor an interrelated ness***** it is an edgeless inconceivable expanse
Stainless pure unimaginable vast
Yet undeniably present
And obviously on
Never separate
From you
It has no name
Yet names arise
We may call it life or beautiful or amazing or terrible
Yet it is none of these things
It is not a thing
Ambiguous fluid uncapturable by thought words ideas concepts
Yet including them
All attempt to describe it seem to diminish it
Yet describing happens
Utterly perfect and complete
Thingness
Nothingness *****
Sigh
Trying to define what has no parts
to grasp what has no edges
Looking for the source of light when light is everywhere
and life does it self without a receipe.... so delicious....
through us it tastes itself
It is neither emptiness nor non
Nor both nor neither
Yet it extends infinitely
Subsuming all thingness ....in definately
Reaching everywhere and nowhere
Is is beyond freedom nor non
The opposite of extremes
Yet including them
The sweep of dawn erases the shadows
There is no place left to hide
Awakening
Pure light of clarity pierces you deeply there is no turning back
****there is no back
Erasing all notions of this and that
Burning subsuming all ideas of twoness
Shadows are but memory stories reflections Ungraspable shimmering on mists of unobscured brilliance
Your eyes licked clean by your own light
It is simoly unbelievable unutterably wondrous ****all extremes fall away time dies
****yet this and that still move
And there is perfect stillness
Mists like many colored droplets shower through you and you sink
Your heart drops
And yet it still beats
Passionate yet dispassionate
Intimately played soundlessly felt and sung with utter abandon
You are the dance it sings itself
Marvelously so without any effort
Crystalline words appear and the two step begins
Obviously appearant yet having no separate existence*****thingness blooms like a many petaled rainbow
And
simultaneously weeps infinitly varied shadows dancing on the edge where
colors die and run down your daydream and disolve in the night
Dripping sensuousness into existence love radiates magnificently into itself
Walking on the edge of the vastness oceancrashing on unseen shores
glimmering moonlight peeks in a sigh of a place we used to hide
42 mins · Edited ·
What is outside of this and that
What is in between sides
And not the middle
Where is not here nor there
Nor now nor always nor before nor after
What cannot be captured with a song
What has no edges or borders or center or corner
What has not a name
What is beyond imagination
Or belief
What cannot grasp itself or hug itself or see itself or kiss itself
Not full nor empty
What has no other
I swam through moonlit ripples and tasted yellow through the saltiness
I sank in my own heaviness and looked for a shore to climb upon
Hand fulls of water hand fulls of air
Tears could not comb through midnight
Hours could not erupt the day
Distance lost validity when it could not be crossed
Arms and legs and hands and lungs and hearts could not stop the flowndering the flowering the lostness sank into itself
Peering into the vastness I could not see a thing
But I knew it was intimately beautiful
And
an oboe wind filled her sails and she returned to the edge where
everything kissed nothing and love knew its own essence where dreams
were made
Like wax burnt and gathered at the base of a
candle *****telling tales of wine soaked evenings smothered in kisses
spilled on the table cloth adding to the flowered print
Embroidered day dreams picking pinholes in the fabric of time
That can never be stitched together yet illunimating a story of you
And dreams like tattered remnants of prayers lost themselves in the echoing blue
Stillness sang of the ripeness of shadows lost and found
*****dancing in their own laughing madness"""""
Plucking at his heart strings reaching reaching reaching
Plunging into the bottomless night where every secret was revealed
Turned inside out desire unabashedly wrung out every tear and more
Leaving only an edgeless brilliance singing to itself
Love songs like spiraling arabesques forming and fading
Patterns rippling into and through each other basking in the noonday sun ****
Swimming falling teardrops I find you in my dream
Effortlessly beauty recognizes itself through our imaginary separation
Aloneness sings itself into a dream where lovers meet and fall through each other
Dream threads stitch thsekves into a tapestry of unutterable magnificence as it falls away
Rippling bejewed wonder
They wrote of tapestries unknown to each other and fell through time together
Waxing rhapsodically the coyote howls at his own reflection.
Drinking in life we sing smothered in our own kisses of awe
We say it is like a dream like a hologram like an illusion
There really is no word that can even touch knowing you are not yet living and loving as if you are
It is a dispassionate passion.
LOL
Life raw inside out
Unowned
Yet impersonal
All that can happen is the brain realizes that all separatiom all mrasurement
Time ****you me
Is made up
Awakening to the dream
And although it feels dream like it seems realer than real
Yet
as you are falling and all beliefs about who you are and what's going
on all ideas of what life or you should be ****it feels like you're
falling out of the dream
And there may come a time when you are suspended as nothingness
Its like you are dead
And it may seem like you have reached your goal
But I've been there
(LOL or not been there )
And I felt I could drive into the oncoming traffic
It is neither OK nor not OK
Yet you return
Yet knowing always feeling life is unowned and an untouchable wowness and unutterable underlying peace remains
Seamless beingness is simply sublime
It is true you are utterly alone
It is sublime as you no longer look to end desire
As there is no desire-er
Yet desire remains
It is flow of life
Knowing this is it
Always
There is a most unutterably wondrous sense of OKness that never leave
And the awe!
Untouchable .....
Subsuming all and everything
That clearly are enough
There is no question
Yet
We can hang out alone
together
......and that which was never apart is seen and felt always to be a unitary flow......
After the belief in separation falls away there is no longer ownership of the dream it is not yours
The shift does not happen to the character
You will never get this
That it is all made up
All separation
Time dimension causality
You
Me
Is utterly amazing
It feels like a lucid dream .....
When it happens
It's like a heavy load falls to the ground
There is an indescribable release physically and mentally
I felt as though my body might crumple to the ground or I might pee my pants
Yet
My body continued to move
The passion play continued
The search was over
There is and has been utter rest since then
And a most marvelous sense of unending awe
There is no more feeling like it is my life
Or that I am a ping pong ball being pushed around by unseen forces
It is like a constant union ....
Always the first kiss ....and the last
There is only ever this as it is
The imaginary center is gone
How can you wrap your head around what has no edges
Can thought deconstruct itself ?
Awakening is a profound shift in perception where it is known and felt always that there are no separate things or events
That all time dimension causality is made up
All separation is illusion.
Mental fabrication
And there is no thinking your way into it
It is uncaused
Obviously if you believe in personal volition. There is belief in separation....in self
And we can perhaps look at it intellectually as I had an intellectual understanding that there is no free will
Before the shift
But that is not the shift
As the shift is not a belief or philosophy
Beauty cannot be ripped apart yet the cracks become sublime as well
love and beauty are ideas just as we are
It takes imaginary twoness to see that
And other imaginary characters to say to one another
I love you
You're beautiful
And I do
And you are
To touch to see to feel and know to its own aliveness
....Pulsating vibrant aliveness *****the river sees its own shimmerimg and weeps.
The razor of thought cannot mend what was never separate
Its more like falling off the edge of reason
like seeing that the net of thought words can never capture the essence of wetness
Or whatever is going on
Ahhhhhh,,,,,, The flavour of life
The unspeakability .....the untouchability
The deliciousness of not knowing or needing to know to capture
Eau de life is life itself
It is unlike anything at all
although
we all know this aliveness we feel so deeply....it is apparent in and
through this ongoing symphony of what we call perception that has no
edges or separate parts ..... there are no words that can even touch
that which we all know.....and our feelings that have no edges yet can
pierce us deeply.....whatwould life be like without them..... we call
them fear and anger and love.....yet without names they are simply a
profound current where joy and sorrow merge .....it pulls us into its
mysterious grasp and drowns us.......and we can no longer find a feeler
or a feeling but a unbounded stillness where love and lover and loved
are us
awakening is truly an empty prize for no
one....there is not even nothing left...and then you return ...an empty
space ....dancing.....
nothing special need or can be
done....there is no special way to feel or think or act or direct your
attention and no chooser of these things......there is truly no special
circumstance or to do list for awakening
the razor of mind
cannot mend what was never separate.......the assumption that it
actually divides whats going on.....is the beginning of the shattering
of the sublime feeling knowing of wholeness......
and as
indivisibility cannot be conceived and is not a belief....it cannot be
arrived at by looking for it or trying to relax into it.... or by
hypnotizing yourself into it.......all feeling of doing or not doing
merely substantiate the illusion of a doer
and if you find
yo...urself in this magnificent conundrum.....like between the jaws of a
tiger....knowing truly that you cannot do nor not do anything....yet
still wanting this .....not knowing what it is,,,,,but recognizing that
it is there there there just beyond your grasp.....it has to be
here....here.....here......
........ tears
there is no you without song you are the song it sings itself
and yet without intervals there is no melody.....
it
is in this imaginary twoness where this can meet that and everything
kisses nothing and here touches now and up slides into down......inside
falls through outside
.....and love oh my love.....
After the shift
There is simply no doubt and no place for it to arise
It is realer than real clearer than clear
Always apparent...
There needs no reminding nor confirmation
And there is no concern for the beliefs and opinions of others
There simply are no separate things
What's going on is not a co depandent arising nor an interrelated ness***** it is an edgeless inconceivable expanse
Stainless pure unimaginable vast
Yet undeniably present
And obviously on ...
Never separate
From you
It has no name
Yet names arise
We may call it life or beautiful or amazing or terrible
Yet it is none of these things
It is not a thing
Ambiguous fluid uncapturable by thought words ideas concepts
Yet including them
All attempt to describe it seem to diminish it
Yet describing happens
Utterly perfect and complete
Thingness
Nothingness *****
Sigh
Don't misunderstand me
I say there is nothing the imaginary character can or CANNOT do to see this
I never say do nothing as that is assuming there is a doer
This can perhaps indicate a most magnificent conundrum
No way out no way in ...
A place where the mind is left reeling
Hanging without any where to go
In other words
Yer fucked
The razor of thought cannot stitch together what it appeared to separate
An imaginary self cannot do nor not do anything to see that it is made up
Trying to define what has no parts ...
to grasp what has no edges
Looking for the source of light when light is everywhere
it is beyond freedom and non-freedom when there is no one left to be free or non free
beyond any concept
the opposite of extremes
yet including them
it is neither emptiness nor non-emptiness...
......nor both nor neither
yet it extends infinitely ......subsuming all thingness.....indefinitely ....
reaching everywhere
and nowhere
...
like a shoreless ocean waving .....crashing ****a silent sonic boom
The objectifying mind appears to split up whats going on into separate bits
Then looks for patterns and connections
Explaining describing what is going on
Creating stories out of not even nothing
Like your story ...
Like you
The first bolt of lightening was realizing there was no two
The second was realizing that this imaginary twoness is the only place we exist
It takes imaginary twoness to recognize that separation is illusion
It is neither emptiness nor non-emptiness
Nor both nor neither
It is beyond freedom nor non-freedom when there is no one left to be free
Yet it extends infinitely indefinitely
Subsuming all things ...
It is beyond all extremes
Yet includes them
It takes the illusion of twoness to know there are no two
Simply beyond logic or reason ****yet knowing and feeling seamless beingness always is sublime
we are an amalgam of learned shared words ideas and concepts
simply put ...we are made up
how
amazing that all perception arises evenly and equally without any
effort.....this seamless beingness is always on yet rarely noticed....
and all effort to recognize it seems to obscure it
...
it is in the imagined spaces between notes where the melody is born
..... a pure tone without overtones has no life no richness....
and out of not even nothing all thingness is born......
just this as it is.....never two, and yet not one
Indivisible...... transparent..... obvious undeniably naturally present,
Spontaneously radiant,
Inconceivably so.....
...
there is nothing outside of whats going on....there are no edges or corners
there is no center.....
and all perception is recognized as it spontaneously arises and self releases
you have never had to try know whats going on
not in an intellectual way....like trying to describe it search for the words the labels
but know deeply..... all of life is recognized .....re-known
as you are not separate from it
it is you
challenge someone's idea of God or true self or timeless awareness and they get really defensive
They are as real as the characters in last nights dream
Like you they are mental comsructs
There is no pure awareness no true self nothing solid or stable or fixed
No god or self or other
So
many believe they have seen through the illusion. Of self and have
merely substituted it for a bigger better me called awareness
Who would want to live in a world where everything was understood
If you knew why something was beautiful *****tears
Without our memories we are not
They lose their grip and become unowned
*****time dies
Yet the passion play continues
There is no center
Nothing solid or stable
Neither does it feel like you are doing life or life happens to you
The bottom falls out of the equation
And that feeling like it is on the tip of your tongue.....
That is the aliveness that you are
Utterly evident wearing the clothes of feeling or seeing or touching .....
Life knowing itself through you
And you are never separate from it .......
A dance of one
Appearing as many
You cannot grasp yourself ....trying merely spins the feeling of separation......and an imaginary center
Life does itself
There is no animator or doer
No you doing it
Nor a god
it
can happen that you realize that trying to control the stream is the
stream itself and all ideas of effort or non effort collapses into
itself
The sweep of dawn erases the shadows
There is no place left to hide
Awakening
...
Pure light of clarity pierces you deeply there is no turning back
****there is no back
Erasing all notions of this and that
Burning subsuming all ideas of twoness
Shadows are but memory stories reflections Ungraspable shimmering on mists of unobscured brilliance
Your eyes licked clean by your own light
It is simoly unbelievable unutterably wondrous ****all extremes fall away time dies
****yet this and that still move
And there is perfect stillness
Mists like many colored droplets shower through you and you sink
Your heart drops
And yet it still beats
Passionate yet dispassionate
Intimately played soundlessly felt and sung with utter abandon
You are the dance it sings itself
Marvelously so without any effort
Crystalline words appear and the two step begins
Obviously appearant yet having no separate existence*****thingness blooms like a many petaled rainbow
And
simultaneously weeps infinitly varied shadows dancing on the edge where
colors die and run down your daydream and disolve in the night
Dripping sensuousness into existence love radiates magnificently into itself
Walking on the edge of the vastness oceancrashing on unseen shores
glimmering moonlight peeks in a sigh of a place we used to hide
