Love has no home... you cannot enter

Life simply does it self
looking and feeling like anything at all
there’s no source or wholeness or emptiness appearing as this
there’s just this
There is no that


twisted branches lace the sky
it is not broken
joy in sorrow
sorrow in joy

love extends infinitely
it cannot be broken

how beautiful these tears
how wondrous this love
this broken heart was never mine
I am it

I wanted to spiral into myself
and out of myself...
Unwind the back beat of time
Suspecting that this was nowhere
I was crushed under the weight
Of my own aloneness
And found it was everyone’s

There was no god or oneness or love
Or anyone to merge with it
No one sitting on the edge of a rainbow
Weeping


The heart strings of the universe play our love songs
We feel this music deeply
It is us



Peering into the physical world and finding nothing substantial will not necessarily translate into the knowing feeling that there are no things or non things and no one to know that

No one would want this... and I would not ask anyone I know to go through this agony, yet the sublime sheer wonder that is always on was worth every tear...


I live in love as love through love knowing that there is no me nor you nor love



sun sweeps across the cloudy canyon
finches bathe in the last puddle
sailing through reflections of plum blossoms




under the words
there is not even nothing
nothing is a word
like you



autumn wind swept down the canyon
words pierced my heart
heart, a word
like love

longing to find solace
hoping to hold the vowels in my mouth,
to savor the flavor of taste itself...

sparkling canyon stream
a running line of letters
written to no one
pleading for my own return
knowing no one had left
not even a shadow of wind
could toss its head and roar
not one footstep
echoing in the canyon
will lead to tomorrow

the song of the canyon
this imaginary space between echoes
sings
hello I love you

this awake-ness
this aliveness
this awareness of being aware
this obvious wondrousness
that you are
without name or number
lives only in the canyon of love


thought unravels the preceding thought
before is thought
thought is thought
spinning yarns that cannot be found
etch a sketch of sky
in sky



searching the sky for a familiar face
reflections of yesteryear faded into her shadow
vast tides could not contain the sea
nor tall mountains hold the sky....
yet, in the palm of her hand she watched her tears gather
she was simply empty echoes of a song rippling across the vastness



undertow of time sucked out the fear of myself
spinning words across the daydream
my mouth could not hold
we were simply pinpoints in a theatre of dreams
stars exploding and fading in each others light
the black backdrop seemed to hide the light
but nothing was left to erase

no one's hand holds the magic wand
it either taps you on the crown or not
I wept as all the jewels fell into the river
and scrambled down the banks
my heart ripped to shreds
as hope took its last breath
I drowned
and the slits in my heart became gills



Sorrow and joy rushed through me
Pouring me out
Ripping my heart in half
I saw my reflection on the other side of love
And sailed right through it
There were no sides to merge or split apart
No middle ground to hide my face
Life is a constant kiss of sighs
Falling through a song of wind
Hello goodbye hello

infinite wishes
tossed into the fountain
autumn bulbs
breathe the heart of spring
sunset casts its shadow in the heart of the living
bursts into an unquenchable flavor of aliveness
in our mouths
these words
not mine
not yours

can I light your body on fire
to know this preciousness
so you will stop curling up in a ball
fearful of this tsunami of love
waiting for the end
that is always here?

Ocean crashes into itself 

Over and over and over 

Until the very atoms and particles of water dissolve 

Love falls through itself 

Until there is nothing left to grasp 

And no hand or heart to hold it 

blood roars 

distant sound of ocean

child cries 

mother calls

across the sparkling sea

pours the sound of home into your bones

was it a horse I heard 

nuzzling your heart?

longing for more time

trying to pour the day into a glass

watch it sparkle

and drink you

what are you but this longing for life

that lives you

breathes you

pours you into its cup

and watches you sparkle

through your eyes?

What words bring out your nakedness

That you thought you had hidden

In the pocket of that old winter coat

Eaten by mice

Stuffed into the back of a closet

With those old shoes

They have holes in the soles but 

You walked many miles

Danced a thousand suns in them

Kissed the hero

And lost him at dawn

When he cut off his legs and went begging for love

You could not save him

You cannot save yourself 

From love

no one can speak this language

it slides into the cracks of the earth

parches your mouth

dust devils in the desert

waiting for the rain

saturated with a longing 

to weep

I love you sings silently

loud and clear

I hear your heart

all hearts

beautifully broken on the hem of desire

every moment a pin prick

the needle of time cannot mend

and who would want to become a stone

a brick wall

blocking out the sky?

tears dissolve the mortar

and light and love flood you

and wash you away

no one goes anywhere

or no where

its just reflections shimmering

on this lake of flight

memory kisses itself

creating an imaginary island of solidity

but there is no one sailing this boat

no wings or sails to unfurl

and catch the sunset

no wheel spins...

no anchor to fall into the fathomless depths

and find no ground to land on

and you are death clutching your purse

pacing the hallway

glancing in all the doors

everyone looks like you

backlit by the curtained window

waiting 

"no one dies" they kept telling her

and she wanted to believe them

but she was scared

they were young

and had never loved

and lost love

we spoke often those last two years

we laughed

and wept and wept and wept

I miss her

I am this story of a ballerina walking a tight rope

between birth and death

twirling a beautiful umbrella 

who fell off 

floating on my own breath...

my songs sing me to sleep at night

and kiss me awake in the morning

outside of this story 

of you 

of me

of we

I do not exist

the song extends indefinitely 

it has no end nor beginning

it has no movement

it is not still

yet the dancer will reach the end one day

I am ripples of memory

twirling

I looked at my slim shoulders

and the unwound gear of spine

protruding from my back

covered with a thin layer of flesh

and wondered how I would ever fly

without wings

without feathers...

but it is the very inability to fly 

this beautiful broken heart

that creates the soaring

this softness

the wetness of these eyes

can erase the imaginary lines

between me and you

and we soar into each others hearts and see our reflection

and drown in our own loveliness 

a water ballet of sky

in sky

awakening feels like losing your mind... 

and it is terrifying... 

and as you are a product of the mind stream and the thought stream creates the known or fabricated world,

it is like losing all that you know including the idea of a know-er...

it feels like you are dying...

that your world is dying...

that time is dying... 

and for the very few who fall all the way.... 

there is not even nothing left

Nothing Under The Skin

Canyon roars with waterfalls of echoes
Words weave a tapestry of memory
Ripping into this very sunrise
Where there is no end
Or beginning
To this brilliant transparency
Light streaming through light
Shadows crocheting shadows
Oh!
Such unknowable vastness
Where there is no direction
Or time
Not even nothing
I appear as a reflection in your eyes
I see poems weeping



my chest my heart my lungs were pierced by love and ripped inside out
that I may breathe
under
water

under
love
there is nothing there

what drank the night
what drinks the day
my eyes pour beauty
love pours itself
we are the drinking of our own love


I can only describe what it was like before...
What happened, and try to describe what it’s like now after this profound permanent shift in perspective.
I am not trying to convince anyone of anything.  I am not trying to change your beliefs or erase them.  I know that you are not the instigator of your thought belief feeling or action, that we and all thingness are simply beautiful flowing thought dreams...

I am not trying to change you or the world
I know you are unutterably beautiful just as you think you are.

Some words may resonate, some may not...
Some may sound similar to others who have experienced this shift and some may not.
I’m happy to try to clarify what this is like if you have any questions, but only you can know what it’s like for you.

Awakening is not a belief or understanding or philosophy.  There is nothing to get and no one to get it.  No things to understand and no one to understand them... No place to arrive and no one to arrive.

Many of my songs may skip the habitual thought patterns out of the usual groove, and leave the mind hanging with no where to go.  Some love this feeling of sensuous lostness... others don’t.

I feel the pain of seekers deeply as I was once desperately looking for what I knew not
...an end to the pain...
and I see them mouthing the words of teachers that simply perpetuate the painful illusion of separation and well, I sing.



When it’s known and felt that no one nor the world is broken there is no more complaining
There are still preferences and beliefs but there is no one who has them


Love bleeds
Like light pouring into light
Like water flowing through water
Tears into tears
Life flows through you in you as you
Emptying you
Filling you
A bottomless treasure chest



Winter trees clothed in clouds
Pierce the skin of sky
Rain of all desire
Washes you away
River of song
Left a watermark in your heart
That blew away
Blew away
Blew away
With the sunset


Firstly the brain using shared learned words seems to split up the symphony of perception and it’s inseparable recognition into two things... perception and awareness...
And as the belief in separation becomes solidified then it feels like there separate things, and a separate individual, someone who thinks and feels and does action....
And this belief in separation has quite a dissonance with a deep intuited knowing that is sometimes felt, that there truly are no separate things or moments...

For some this is horribly painful and they become seekers and they generally look for ideas like wholeness or oneness or enlightenment that somehow may quench that pain of feeling separate
because feeling separate just feels wrong!!!!

And in all of the searching what the brain is doing is trying to put together all of these imaginary separate things into some kind of place of rest or understanding....

And all of this imaginary doing the seeker does simply perpetuates the painful illusion of a separate seeker...

So the profound shift in perspective of which I sing is when the brain somehow no longer believes in this illusion of separation it has created from shared learned words or the thought stream or mind....

When this happens it is unutterably wondrous there’s no more feeling that there are separate things divided by space or separate events divided by time
it no longer feels like there is a thinker, or a feeler or a doer....

It is known that life does it self there is no source there is no something which is permanent and unchanging like a true self or timeless awareness or pure consciousness there are no things to be permanent or changing......

It no longer feels like life is happening to someone or that there is someone doing life
it is all piece
of itself so.....

It is known without a doubt always that no one is the instigator of their thought belief action or feeling....

There is no trying to change anyone or trying to teach this as since enlightenment does not happen to the imaginary character there is nothing the imaginary character can do or not do to make this happen....

It cannot be taught or learned as it is not a belief in fact it is the end of belief in all belief....
It cannot be transmitted or given away....

In fact although I try to sing of this songs flow through me every day
and yet every word seems to slice up the sky....



Bit by bit or all at once the illusion of separation is no longer believed or felt...
it doesn’t mean you disappear or stop feeling
The dream of illusion is the only world we can know
There is no outside to the dream
No inside...

It’s simply always known that all separation
You
Me
Love
Is illusion
Impersonal
Surreal
Yet felt deeply
And somehow realer than real....

And the ripping apart of belief in illusion hurts like hell
As that is what you are


spring morning
naked trees
clothed in clouds
robin song

yellow mug
warms my hands
steam rises

sky is not broken by clouds
or trees
or morning

painted by thought
the universe appears
and morning streams across the sky

love and beauty
enter the world
through our eyes


Love has no house
You need not enter

Wings are not needed for the sky to swallow you 

You have always been part sky...

Feet are not needed for the earth to cover you

You have never left your beautiful home...

Gills are not needed to breathe underwater

These slits open when your heart is slashed by love and love lost... 

Hearts are necessary for life to sing you twirl you pierce you with your own love 

To feel so deeply the crushing of earth and sea into sky 

Softness is required to feel the wind upon your cheeks 

Tears are needed to cast reflections of love’s echo upon the world 

origami swans unfolding into sails

shining with sunset

tears unravel endless wetness signing the pages of your life

its like you are skinned alive

and there is nothing under the skin

The beauty the beauty the beauty

Colors cannot dance without the echo of your voice

The sea has no song of its own

It has no movement without your breath

You are the dancing of your beautiful reflection

No petals can hold your colors

Blooming and fading 

No feathers can keep

Your magnificent iridescence 

No waters can stop

These tears from flowing 

This dream of dreaming 

Reflection of moon shimmers 

On the waters that cannot hold 

Your story 

Painting itself 

With these words

With these tears

With these very thoughts

That you tried so hard to stop

I am the loving of you 

I do not exist outside of your lovelight

morning hangs from threads of moonlight

I rise with sweet ascending notes of a bird I have never seen

her song paints my echo on the canyon walls

words fold light into light

capsizing the night time dream

of tattered moons

deep blues and greens

dissolve into fire of day

searing wonder into my breast

watching my footsteps erase themselves

while my feet seem to dance

hollow parentheses flow into and through rippling space

holding nothing memory flows

river of song washes through me

melodies no one sung

erupt into whirlpools

I slide down the rainbow's edge

my colors bleed into edgeless light

flowing arabesque of wind in wind

lace of sky through shimmering leaves

traceries of forgotten shadows 

bending sweeping breathing

chasing my footfalls down empty streets

I am the dance of shine and shade

I am the song of winds

silence presses my lips together

into this perfect kiss

of wind and light and shadow

soaring through me

as me

love tattooed my name on the water

with my own blood

and tears

my name was forgotten in the beauty

of countless rivers rushing into endless seas

hanging boughs of infinite flowers blossomed

and fell

softly softly 

and kissed their reflection

as I fell through mine

wet into wetness

light into light

beauty into beauty

love into love

was all there ever was

there is nothing here

there is nothing there

there is no here nor there

no place to land

nor anyone falling

not even the wind dancing

nor silence singing

no blossoms or sky 

falling

through me

searching for love

created a gap

between me and it

and the incision hurt like hell

I fell through

fathomless depths 

reflecting endless sky

not even nothing could be found

light and wind and space flow through me

as I am the wind

caressing my softness

I am a light ballet

spiraling through myself 

I am the mirror of love's echo

Stars fell from above

And below

Pierced my eyes

Fell through my heart 

Eviscerating all ideas of love 

I was ship wrecked by the dawn 

Washed away by the song of no tomorrow 

Blossoming tides of super saturated light 

Reflections flowing on endless seas 

Suspended as nothingness in unfathomable depths of unknowing 

Bathed in infinite edgelessness...

Breathing underwater 

I heard my heart song calling

I flew up through light 

Light swooning through me

And reappeared on the surface 

Yet still sea and sky and wind flow through me 

I am the Shimmering dance 

Of wind and light and tears 

A ballet of love 

And nothing at all 

sky painted my reflection with sky

looking for love I fell up

drowning in my empty eyes

river of song shimmered in the canyon

singing my name

all names

nothing more or less than wind

in wind

echoes flow through vast unknowing

reverberations of love's demise 

endless parenthesis extend infinitely 

without movement or direction

space falls through space

and kisses my eyes

softer than a thousand petals

illuminated from within

and without

a light ballet pirouettes

in light

transparent without measure

or time

this is my love song

to you

the sky broke into a million pieces of blue

I watched the sharpness of my broken heart scatter reflections of yesterdays across the vast desert ocean... pictures sinking, like all dreams do, into the sea of forgotten songs... 

paintings of imaginary tomorrows where the dream of love resided shimmered on the waves and sank into cold fathomless depths ...it was my heart bleeding into everywhere

and no where

rivulets of song stream through me 

the roundness of vowels breaths me into a kiss of one of two of many of none

a light ballet weaving itself into showers of shine and shadow pours through me 

I am transparent light dancing with itself

there is not even nothing here until I see my reflection in your eyes

and I weep

and I weep

and I weep

at the beauty

the beauty 

the beauty