Sunday, June 17, 2018

Dissolve into liquid sky

there is no one who wears this beautiful embrace of sublime melancholy, no one who is wrapped in this starkness this fullness this intimacy this immediacy of life flowing through me as me without movement or time...
no one who loves or longs to sing of love, of life blooming and wilting and and falling through this always on love dream, this wild and free wind song...

no one who silently sings of loves enchantment which paints itself with joy and sorrow and colored light streaming through the morning window percolating through these eyes which have lost their longing to capture the color the light the sparkling, the tremendous splash of life kissing itself through these lines through these lips this song of life that sings me, a wondrous story line, of a girl a woman a lover a songster who no longer looks for an imaginary kiss of freedom or a center to which she can point and say this is it, this is me. I am a fairy tale of lovers of strangers meeting and melting into and through each other...

joyously dancing and weeping, twirling down the Grand Canyon of love, sailing soaring rushing roaring, the river of love sings me... whispering of this immediate intimacy of life and a story of you of me of we...

without these love songs there is no singer, there never was anyone who sang or left the kettle on to boil




Oh my! 
How you longed to drink the sky... 
How you longed to discover the magic of moon 
Softly softly moon glow pried open your smile your tears your heart your nakedness
Revealing an empty reflection song
You were only a swirl of echoes looking for a source and a place to land 
A shadow dreaming of arabesques of light
Wind listening to itself through these words that paint the wind your face your smile your heart this love that no one wears...

Devoid of all structure the curtain collapses
There is not even nothing behind it 
There was never any scaffolding to assemble... 
No thing was needed to hold up the sky...
No buttons to push no envelopes to open
No secret key or magic to find
No mountain needed climbing so you could stretch your head into sky
No effort was needed for sky to reach down and caress the rocks and pool in purple shadows and swallow you.




Marionette of time dances on the horizon
How I was bewitched by his shimmering echo 
Until the horizon untied itself and we drowned in a tsunami of sky and sea 

Time lost its marrow 
I lost my heart 
Buried in octaves of sorrow 
It’s song could not be heard 
These very words that sing me 
No longer have a listener 

I cannot find one who wanders this daydream
That girl who cast her dreams into the stars 
Who wept for the loss of what never was 
Nor will ever be 
Yet it is these very tears 
That have no name 
That stream over a silhouette 
And seem to separate sky and sea 


This singing paints me 
Wordless echoes in the dark cannot find themselves



sunlight pours 
water flows
tears fall
just like this love sings your name and you cannot help but whirl around for this ever present kiss 
love soars streams rushes roars silently tip toes behind your back and flips you around and kisses you deeply
plunges its tongue deep into your belly exposing all the secret places you had no idea existed 
closer than any ideas of sameness or wholeness or oneness or love 

and it is life that you longed for and thought you had missed somehow while you were in the backyard at night fervently looking for your cat
but it was life all along 
doing itself
love seemed to be seeking love
but it was love all along
pouring through you as you

it moves and dances without time or direction or purpose 
and in knowing feeling this seamless love 
we realize we are it
as without this imaginary cloak of mirrors
we are nothing at all



a fire burned all your books
melted all the letters and symbols into a seamless flow 
even wordlessness was lost
it seared all your dreams 
all your memories 
and your world
there was no one left to have one
it consumed even love 
there was no one left to search for its demise

this pyre left no ashes to blow away in the wind
left no darkness
or midnight to await the dawn

this conflagration burst open your heart like an ancient seed 
ever blossoming 
ever wilting 
no one need water open sky

those of us who have known this fire
recognize each other
in our fullness 
and our emptiness 
and our songs


all her songs flew off the staves into lyrical intoxication
melodies that had no words or context swooned into themselves 
words lost their parameters of meaning and non meaning
without a center or edge 
baseless love songs swirl into unimaginable patterns and rhythms without pattern or rhythm...

yet there is the rhythm of our hearts 
which calls us
beckons us to dance
wild and naked
in fervent abandon
until there is nothing left to abandon
and no one left to do so

and we remain
an unfettered love song
recognizing our reflection
in everyones eyes

in everyones smiles
and tears
and stories 
of love and love lost
life and death
this preciousness of life seeing itself
through your beautiful eyes




An echo-land sound scape reverberates weaving a cats cradle that never held any hands or heart or name, or breast to pin it on

Wind and sun crochet leaf shadows over under in and through me 
I watch my hands and the yarn emerge into this song 
Shadow and light enunciate these words 
This ballet of winds streaming down the canyon 

Weaving and un-weaving itself
This fabric of life that has no name nor time 
A tale sung by no one 
Heard by everyone 
Is this dance of winds that sings our names that have a hollow ring when there’s no one here to answer the bell

Yet the ocean listens to itself through these ears as life tastes itself through these lips that smile and weep and kiss and sing 

Hello sing the waves 
Goodbye 

I sing 
hello 
I love you 
And answer myself through these lines 

Is there an edge between the known world and the vast unknowing
Between love and nothing at all...
Where we can gather and dangle our feet....
..watch the river flow 

There is no outside to the known world 
But we can sense this sublime 
edgelessness...
For some it becomes obvious and felt always that all separation is made up 
And that there are no things to understand 
And no one who could do that 




no eyes apart from the seeing....
no ears apart from the hearing
no sound separate from the listening...
no wind separate from your cheek
no love separate from your heart
no inside 
no outside 
the horizon that held the sky apart from the sea
untied itself 
the timeline from birth to death collapsed
as well as the time walker
and left this knowing and feeling that there are no things
simply an atemporal seamless flow without movement or non movement....
no things to be permeant or changing ... 
feels like the first and last kiss .... 
a constant union of what was never apart...



dandelion seeds aloft
catch a flowing kiss
gossamer moon glow weaves ancient stories into a cat's cradle that held your song of love and love lost unravels

feathered lines left by the tides do not claim the beach 
waves rolling in cannot be caught
after crashing they are gone forever

and the sun glistens on the sparkling sand as the water percolates diamonds into your mind-stream

words 
like tiny bits of broken mirrors 
seem to cut up the sky into separate shards of blueness....
ripping you apart from the seamless flowing

Yet words can fly you to the edge
leave you hanging......
....and elicit the vastness of which I sing.....

such infinite array of stars strewn haphazardly across the night sky, never forming tales of love or war until our brains try to formulate an answer to a question that we forgot
when the questions about imaginary things goes away we are lost as unspeakable beauty

This feels like pure Infinite spaciousness 
Vast uncompounded emptiness extending everywhere and nowhere without direction or time 

There is simply no one here or there 
You or me 
Yet in an imaginary place in between us there is a love dance.

I'm walking in the canyon and it seems like I am everyone I see.  The mother pushing twins in a pram, her husband, and the babies, their bright unmistakable beauty shimmers into an after image where I recognize an edgeless heart.



she plucked the flower
to hold its beauty 
wind 
petals flying 
loose ends of my hair



moonlight illuminates midnight rain
shiny darkness runs down the streets
morning paints liquid eyes 
light and shadow hold the canyon 
clouds echo the flowers song
can you hear the primordial sound 
blooming and wilting?

our hearts lost their edges
when love consumed us
and spat us out
wind shadows
an empty breath 
sings this death 
of time


dancing in echo canyon 
walls of memory crash into the sea
oceans of sky pour through my heart 
or is it yours?

whose footsteps no longer wander 
looking for the source of beauty 
the heartbeat of love 

we waltz 
you and me and the mountain that never was 
in mirrored wonderment



why sky
why rain
why tears

why do I love 
that I cannot know what love is?


roses fell
through yesterdays skies
sleeping

words unwind the morning 
turn the night time dream into the day time dream
stream rainbows through these windows 
paint these luminous eyes 
place notes and intervals into this robins song
echoing down the canyon

such naked wonder 
seamless being 
streaming through me
as me



not feeling separate from thought and feeling
not feeling that there are separate thoughts and feelings
there is no urge to alter the beautiful flow 
this river that I am
needs its imaginary banks to flow
needs a canyon with imaginary walls 
to sing 
to dance
one brief timeless instant
hello 
goodbye 
hello



roses bloom 
petals fall into wind

first robin song
love echos its reply in my heart
clouds drift lazily across the canyon

beyond this vault of sky
a vastness so great 
so unknowable 
this hole in my heart
was never mine
Or yours 
It swallowed me 
As it exploded into seamless sky



As soon as I swoon into your eyes 
There is an ache 
Indescribable 
Undeniable 
Love awe sorrow joy 
you have stolen my heart 
And I miss you always 
Even when we kiss 
There is a sublime melancholia 
Bittersweet 
Aloneness 
Aloveness 
Resides 
Always 

And I can not remember when I have not loved you



blooming and wilting 
the heart flows
love and love lost
their beauty consumed me 
left me standing footless 
on the sands of a shore-less ocean 
empty breath of no tomorrow 
floods the desert where I drowned

horizon unties itself 
in the collision of never and forever 
there I fell through the broken mirror
of sea and sky and sea 
until there was no one left to fall 
or kiss their own reflection

sea-foam clouds 
dissolved in the waves of their own music 
song of sunrise
bathed in sunset 
deaths beauty 
fills the sails of time

we waltz in moon glow 
in the death of of day and night 
echoes of laughter 
ripples of tears 
this heart ache is my aliveness 
singing


night 
rich and heavy 
and light 
its expansiveness cannot be seen

moon sets
darkness breathes 
there is no path to dawn

robin song 
shallow wind 
petals fall in first light
dried roses dance on rippling pond
mourning dove on the telephone wire
sings my childhood and its passing

this star song caught in dew's reflection
broke my heart long ago 
as I dissolved into liquid sky







Monday, June 4, 2018

Sky Deep In Love

echoes of my reflection sing
infinite permutations of tears unsigned
empty hands
empty heart
reverberating parentheses
cast words across liquid sky
ripples cannot be traced or caught
or found under the rose bush at dawn
nestled in cloud shadow
a robin song

how deep the shadow that burnt my footfalls
how searing the brilliance that burnt even love

on the other side of the clouds
wandering sky deep in love
I peer into the hearts
of everyone I meet
I see our broken hearted beauty
and weep



I longed to fall to loose myself and I simultaneously longed to be held.  Such a deep deep fear of feeling all that love and have it wash away.  What would I be without it?  knowing deeply that there was no controller yet desperately trying to cling to hold onto life created a wall of fear, behind which a frozen heart longed to bleed.  All that love that I held so tightly could never fill the emptiness I felt inside or fill that hole of longing.  After a lifetime of tug-of-war, the imaginary wall between inside and outside melted away and my heart dropped as love bled into the dream.  It was never my heart my love my life!  The vast emptiness inside exploded and imploded into everywhere are no where, and ripples of loveliness shimmered in the evening sun, and I stepped out into reflections of echoed dreamscapes loosely clothed in a light gown of awe with not even nothing under this nakedness.  love a dream like all things pools in rainbow clouds and soaring without belief in tomorrow, or hope and fear of life of death of love.

I tried to find the magic of an empty bowl, I heard the ocean and my heart song echoing on the freeway and saw the moon Whirling into a paper cup, but just as I tried to swallowed these Cloud reflections like castles under the sea, the sea swallowed me.

I swam and swam but could never reach this dream of peace of love of wholeness, and the waves reached down and grasped my hands and the bottom reached up and swallowed my heart and the radiance in between pulled me in.  Every hope and dream crashed, and fear was no where to be found.  I did not look for them, as the hunger of a lifetime was over.  The search was over.  The seeker was gone.  I could not remember why I had wanted to fix the sky.

We are like the ocean without a shore. We spill into ourselves and it feels like love.  We drown in ever present joy and sorrow as our hearts break open and never close again.  they were never ours.

My his heart sank as I believed I had missed the magic.  That emptiness he felt inside that voracious hunger for what I knew not Lingered on the evening breeze and hung on a heartstring, Hovering... Into the still of deep despair of a never ending night.  Until day swallowed night and night swallowed day.  Infinite permutations of wonder bloomed into smiles and tears.  Hopes and Fears and dreams of next Falling dissolving like morning mist in the pure brilliance of clarity, Where shine and shadow are known to be illusion, yet color the dream of twoness with a feeling akin to love unowned, vast beyond measure or opposite.  Thing less wingless soaring.

Sun and wind articulate these songs into soaring cloudbursts where they could be heard and pierced the hearts of only a few.

her lips sang of an unheard untouched loveliness that pierced him to the core.  his lips mouthed the words, longing to kiss what could never be kissed

A primordial song of vastness undreamt,  a vibrant hum beyond everywhere and no where.  A placeless place without edge or center  spinning madly in vibrational hue.   infinite colors bleeding into and through each other rippling contrapuntal heartbeats of this and that as emptiness overflows into and through itself.

standing dancing soaring weeping drowning falling up.  dissolved into space and light and the winds flying down the canyon,  as a sigh unsung yet felt deeply fell into and through a sigh.  softness falling through softness, space flowing into space,  light into light.  brilliant uncaused baseless untouchable perfection touching itself



Shorn of all my hair my jewels my garments my skin my blood my bones 
The marrow of emptiness sucked dry 
Exquisite and terrible this fire that burnt even my nakedness...
The flames exposed the deliciousness of unknowing 

This floating world 
inside out crystalline abyss 
Swallows every word 
Yet sings them 
A pure untrammeled note 
Of unutterable brilliance 
Pierces these lines 
That reveal not even an instrument 
Or a primordial hum
A soundless gathering of sticks 
For the bonfire  




Moon sails through my window 
Nestles in this edgeless heart 
Aglow with its own reflection
Steeped in songs 
Rich with a vacancy 
Where time lost its shadow 

Love has no anchor 
In these flowing waters 
There is no hand that moves 
No eye that caresses your beauty 
I reach out to touch the moonlight in your eyes 
And find my echo 
Weeping 



I swoon into your magnificent beauty 
love light
sun dance 
blindingly bright
your after image remains in this love song 
My face has no light without you 
Nor my heart



This hyper awareness of being aware is the gem the jewel yet it only exists through the dream of separation 
From which no one awakens.



Space fell through space 
Ripping apart time 
I watched the saber of love 
Pierce my heart  

Light fell through light 
Kissing it’s reflection 
I watch fallen blossoms gather and swirl in the eddies 
I am the echos of sourceless shimmering 
Festooned with ripples 
The waters dancing



Smile of moon 
Cricket song 
First robin opens the morning
Swooning into this golden liquidity 
from which no one left and no one returns
There is no vessel to collect these waters 
No heart that cannot burn 
Adrift in my own radiance  
Singing


I am the rushing roaring thunderous silent still river singing me as I sing it.  There is only this flow, there is no outside nor inside. 

I breathe this supreme spaciousness as it breathes me.  I drink this sublime liquidity as it drinks me.  I bathe in brilliant clarity as the river bathes me in its ultimate intimate infinite embrace.  I hear its silence roaring as it listens to itself through me.  It kisses itself through my lips.  Everyone I see, everywhere I look is the rivers shimmering reflection dancing.  I fall madly in love with everyone I greet, my heart pierced forever with love's unspeakable majesty.  This ecstatic love dance of what was never separate flowing into and through itself in this magnificent twisting twining eddying whirl pooling pirouetting winged water ballet.  

I have never been separate from this liquidity of home as even the thought of escape or the belief in an outside lies within its heart song.  This song that I sing is your song our song singing itself through our beautiful beautiful lips.  I can only see my beauty and I can only know love through my reflection in your beautiful beautiful eyes.

Ahhhhhhhhh
This love of knowing there is no one or two or none.  Knowing deeply that  there is no you nor me, that we exist only in the shimmering reflections of mirrored kisses in each other's eyes.  Feeling always that we are not separate, that there are no separate things or moments. Without time or non time.  Flowing as the river.  Water in water.  Wet in wet.  Light falling through light.  Space swooshing through space.

Falling in love as love.  
Is it pain or joy this ache of our humanness?  I am has been ripped apart and our hearts exploded and imploded into the vastness of we are. 

Love like life is immeasurably vast and unknowable.  This love that I feel always is really not like what I would have called love before as there is no hope or fear or need of more or next. 

Life like love is insatiable, it will eat you alive.  Yet no one can prepare to be eaten.  No one can throw themselves into the fire.  Yet burning happens.  Out of the ashes as they are carried into the sun's setting orange-y reds a love song unlike any other pierces your heart deeply.  It is your own voice singing, "I love you, welcome home,  I've missed you"

Yet the slipstream of I am slides through the dream of we are... pointing to starlight dancing your words your finger dances as the reflection on your beautiful beautiful face.  

 This love light sun dancing brilliance is often so blindingly bright, as I swoon into your magnificent beauty your after image remains as part of my heart like a precious gem that will stay as part of my love song until I die.

And all that was left was an all encompassing sound.  The hum of the universe that she had sought was everywhere and nowhere.  It was the all pervading knowingness that life had always done itself, looking and feeling like anything at all. 

I love you.  It's all light and you are it.  Illumined from the inside and the outside, and it feels like love. Your beautiful humanness and love light shining irrevocably just as all you seem to be.  Every hitch in yer get-a-long is a beautiful rhythm never wavering from the walk the trot the gallop of love kissing itself through your beautiful beautiful lips ♥️

You have never left your intimate infinite embrace.  The heaviness of light astounds me.  The weight of nothing blinds me.  Your all pervading love light is me. 

The gift you seek was never yours to give away or keep.  It was never found nor lost.  Handless hands appeared to hold a seamless embrace of paper dolls around an ocean of tears, of every tear dried up and rolled into a paper cup folded into an origami fan tale sky blooming unfolding always the magnificent fairy tale story of love.



Infinite feathers of your winged arabesque dance as wind caresses your exquisite softness.  You embrace the wind and silently sing this wind dance as it sings you.  Space and light collapse into an unfolding murmuration that swoops and swirls in immeasurable fluidity.  Following no design or template or path there are no required or separate steps as you recognize your feet are inseparable from the dance.  

You reach out your hand as trees and sky and light are your hand your arm your breath your heartbeat your song every song singing itself as an infinite instance.  There is no time, there never was and will never be, simply a mirage that shimmered so enticingly as you longed for a lover to complete you.  That ache was you is you as there is no outside to this infinite kiss.   

Soaring as wind dreams pirouette into stories of love and love lost your feet never needed to know how to dance, your heart never needed to know how to love.  Love a slow dream waltz when inside and outside disappear into the music that fills you and empties you without time or place, in all time in every place, always this seamless love song.



All her life it was like being one half of a kiss searching for the other set of lips, and reaching reaching reaching, and finally finding that it was always the first and last kiss.  She was the love the lover and the beloved.  Life dancing swirling emerging falling through itself in an atemporal rhythmless rhythm flying soaring through prisms of untold beauty of rainbows delighting in their own wondrousness.  Light and color sweeping through shadow and shine as leaves trembling in the wind. 

Wall-less canyons echo the silence of the universe singing a dream of reflections shimmering in shadowed light.  An uncontained symphony of overtones and after images of sideways backwards glances into where you have never been falling through illuminated manuscripts of where you will never be. A hush of memories sliding through a sigh of nowhere, and no place to convene, like kisses in the dark.  

There were never any sides to nowhere, there was never a song in the wind until her heart beat madly in tune with her breath did the song emerge.  Silently roaring the blood surging through her body she heard the universe sing her name.  This it is she whispered, this is the only song.  It sings me as I sing it.  My home is everywhere and no where.  There has never been anyone to land as the falling is falling through the falling.   Such a beautiful bittersweet melancholia sings a song of indescribable beauty dancing as joy and sorrow merge with love in an undercurrent of sublime aloneness. 

Light folds into light and unfolds through filagreed reverberations that echo starlights song.  Space shimmers and streams through space singing in and through the darkness.  Sound ricochets through shadows lit from within and without.  A primordial dance where time falls into non time and leaves ripples of lovliness endlessly pirouetting a wind ballet echoing in the heart of emptiness. 

A shimmering edgeless symphony full beyond measure or time or meaning or non meaning, this dance of one without sides. 

Beautiful gossamer threads of belief untied wrap around a centerless gem spinning, like tears awaiting a dream. 

The picture paints itself, the dance dances itself and nothing has ever been out of place. 

Not one tear, not one echo, not one note, not one song. This is a seamless recognition that there are no separate tears or echoes or notes or songs.  Yet without imaginary spaces in between there is no perfection nor beauty nor music nor wonder nor love.  Always super complete as nothing can be added and nothing can be taken away from what is going on.  There is simply no one can step outside of all this to do so.  There is no outside nor inside. 

All description paints the dream as the singing creates the imaginary singer and listener.  It sings itself
just
like
this
watching the dream sing itself 
is the dream



How can an imaginary patch of blue stitch together the sky?  Words string together pieces of reflected light into a story.  A rainbow dream of clouds forming dragon tales and fiery orbs sliding across an endless empty vault.  As you long to kiss an imaginary line into darkness.

You ache for an idea of wholeness or emptiness or a place where you can rest.  Your arms reaching reaching reaching for a taste you seem to remember.  A song you had once sung but had never heard.

A glimpse of emptiness seems to fill you and empty you.  
Strewn stars across the vastness begin to glimmer with an obvious patternless pattern that sing of the utter all rightness of things as they are and the edges begin to blur.

Oh your tears of wonder of joy of sorrow of nameless names, of lostness of foundness of a placeless place where empty shadows dance.  This knowing feeling of seamless sameness erases your imaginary lines and you feel starllight flow through you as you, and you realize you are indeed home and had never left.

You marvel at this exquisite nakedness and sing.

There is no one to wonder why or care why the night sings so.  We are expressions expressing wonder, singing this naked wonder of wonder itself.  Twirling in utter delight, our beautiful humanness shared.  Rainbows shimmering castles of colored tears crumbling washing over and through us as us.  Touching we need our skin our hearts our love.  Imaginary lovers dance on the edge of everything and nothing and marvel.  Alone. Together.  Hello.  Goodbye.  Hello



She reached deep inside her naked breaking heart that had sucked all of the light the love, every kiss every tear, from a cloth woven of memories that she had called her life, and tried to hold on to that last bit of love.

Yet love itself died.  She thought she would not be able to bare it so she reached her arms wide in order to hug herself, but there was nothing left to hug. 

Only an empty circle.  Spinning, suspended, motionless.  An emptiness so vast it could not contain emptiness.  A fullness so rich so unbearably weighty in its brilliant lightness.   Life shining without need of cover or corner.  All secrets had been revealed to be merely the wind 
Singing 
A hush 
A whisper
A roar 
A kiss 
From nowhere and everywhere it echoed, ringing throughout a primordial infinite vastness. 

Butterflies alighting on a window kissing a mirrored glimpse 
of 
kiss




Sun dog crochets rainbow transparency into sky 
Unraveling all your grasping 
Eluding ideas of solidity 

Reflected light soars through this pirouette of wonder 
Twirling down the canyon
A liquid kaleidoscopic soundscape 
Wind dances in the trees and long grasses 
Tires mimic the sea 
unnamable is this sensuous of lostness 
When there is no one walking 
No one to be lost 
Or found 
This hollow reed sings 
Wind songs