Full moon rain

Night bird soars
Through moon embraced sky
Silent mirror of lake

Empty skies
Leave no reflection

Why this beauty
Why these tears
Why this love
What is the meaning of sky?

Where does a rainbow go
When you disappear? 

Giant pine falls 

Dissolves into earth

Big mountains crumble

Wash into the sea

No one dissolves 

Into unspeakable beauty 

It was always this way

And never was

Nor will ever be

Full moon rain
Empty pools of mirrored sky
Breathes star shadows
In your eyes

This and that
Inside and out
Before and after
Light and dark
Weave the fabric of our existence
Unspeakable beauty pulls you in
Never not separate from you
Wind breathes in breathes out
All is wind
Light swirls in light
Shadows fall through their reflections
Pulsating dancing breathing
Life dances
It’s rhythm is these very words
Playing in the dream of mind

Transparent layers of flowing images

Slide up and down and into and through each other

Blue iridescent dragonflies hover over their shimmering reflections 

Dart away into the sparkling 

Silence pours through words 

Words like stillness 

Dance with their echoes 

They are but blooming reflections 

Mirrors of their own shadows

Painting the world with their spinning tales

Stories of love bloom and wilt 

Cascade through oceans of luminescent shadows

Nothing is hidden 

Nothing is revealed 

There are no things 

Simply splendorous reflections

Of not even nothing

Bathed in morning sun

Combing my long hair

Gentle wind sweeps the lake

Winged shimmering flows across still waters 

But there is no one standing 

No one gazing at her hair 

Feeling the softness of morning...

No sun streaming through the grasses 

Or tall white aspens mirrored in the lake 

...Heron at the water’s edge

Waiting...

Without these very words

This song that sings a me into a morning...

When my world collapsed 

There was no one to have one

All words a scrumptious love ballet

No longer believed 

Yet there are fairytale tears 

Flowing through these pages

Dissolving in their own wetness 

It appears that there is a songster 

But the song sings itself 

Edgeless Singular beauty melting into infinite singular beauty

Where does the song appear?

Space less space has no location 

When does it sing?

Atemporal timelessness has no before or after or now

Why does it seem to appear?

Measureless dimensionless...

Life has no reason or rhyme except in the song... 

all this and that 

The heartbeat of existence 

Is in the words

These very words 

This very song

That creates light and shadow dancing

Flowing through our mind stream

A chorus of one of two of many of none

Can you hear your voice?

Is it your voice?

Your breath?

Your heartbeat?

Your joy 

Your sorrow

Your tears 

Your smiles 

Your love...

Your life? 

Morning dream erases the dream of slumber

Slip stream of wonder paints my eyes 

Small purple flower hides in the grasses 

Morning birds sing

Of the stillness of night

Sky blue kayak skims across the sky blue lake

Where is the sky? 

Where is the blue?

Where is the middle of no place

Or time?

Where is the breath of yesterday’s song...

Where is the song of tomorrow?

Where is the sound of heron’s cry

Echoing across the lake

Where is the wind as it kisses your cheek

And as it dances with sunlight in the shimmering leaves?

Where does the universe appear?

Not outside your window...

Or on the other side of the looking glass...

There is no one watching this self arising 

Self erasing 

Splendor 

No one can step outside of this show.

There is no inside...

This dance requires imaginary sides

There is no one half of a kiss...

Yet it felt that way most of my life

As long as it felt that there was a someone 

To have a life

Like I was waiting at the alter

As the mountains were crumbling

And the sky was falling 

And constantly needed to be held up...

But earth and sky won

And a lifetime of affliction crushed me

Erased all light 

And dark

And spit me out 

Weeping at the beauty 

Of an unowned life

Of the wonder

Of wondrousness

The delight 

Of delight 

The love

Of love

Night time winds softly swirl and ebb

Weaving a familiar and indecipherable beauty

Chorus of crickets 

My husband’s soft breath

Refrigerator hum...

Transparency of darkness

Song of night sings itself 

Distant dog barks

There is no moon 

Only a memory of reflected light... 

Where is the morning but in the very word?

self as a prison is a common idea and feeling... I would say that when it felt like there was a someone unchanging inside a self, and the corresponding longing to escape, self did indeed feel like a prison... 

however knowing and feeling that there is no inside or outside, no one to have or wear a self, that there are no selves, nor others, no separate things or moments or events... that there never was a mountain nor anyone to climb it... nor love... seamless ease and awe permeate the dream of separation... 

it is known that this objectified dream of separation, this 'known' world of concepts is the only world we can know... this mentally fabricated universe of this and that, of place and time, and selves and others... 

how wondrous that we exist only in each others minds... that I find myself only in your eyes... that only through us do love and beauty enter the universe!

there is no outside to this 'prison' of ideas... as outside and inside, like all this and that are made up... 

well, it feels like love to me... this seamless edgeless scintillating light and sound show... it never feels like life is happening to a someone or that there is a someone doing life... how unimaginably wondrous, this love dream of you and me and we...

 The self is the most beautiful jewel in the universe

It is the portal through which love and beauty enter ... imaginary separation is hell when believed in 

And stunning beautiful when not

Many teachers insist that they don’t exist 

Seekers love that shit

They want to cease to exist also 

But they don’t kill themselves do they?

They want to live and talk about their own non existence! 

I heard one say that he would never go back to being a self! 

Who or what would never go back?

There is no one or thing who has a self or non self 

The preference of that speaker is a self 

We exist only as imaginary selves 

There is no existence as a non self, simply the self is no longer believed by the brain that paints the dream of objectified separation.

Every word is a love letter

All your efforts to try to hold up the sky

Never really worked 

The banks that held in all the rivers 

Dissolved

The cliffs that held in all the oceans 

Collapsed

The mountains that held the sky from falling 

Crumbled 

Clouds melted into clouds 

Stars swam into starlight

The fear that held you in

Melted

Your entire world disappears...

The waves have sucked out all the sand from your safe harbor...

As well as your footprints, 

And your feet.... 

There are no reference points whatsoever....

No maps nor stars to guide you...

All signposts are realized to be imaginary

All paths end...

There is no goal...

There never was.

Just a tale of a mighty ship

On an edgeless sea

With no one at the helm

No sails 

No wind 

No wheel

No rudder

No anchor...

Adrift on the waves

Sun and moon and stars

Singing

You know this seamlessness

It’s always on 

Like endless sky

No effort is required to paint it 

It cannot be held.

It is the magic and love you long for 

And fear

For if there are no lines

Sky would dissolve into sea

All lover’s tales

Would be just that 

Your entire life would be a beautiful story

All you have ever loved

Would be imaginary

As well as you.

You say you prefer to keep the boundaries that define you

But no one can keep them 

Or erase them 

Wind in the distant pines

Shimmering needles

Dancing

Wind on your tender cheek

Flowing light 

Liquid sky

Waterfalls in the canyon 

Your tears 

Your lover’s tears 

His pain 

Your pain 

Whose tears...

Where does the wind blow

In the unknown canyon of your mind?

The sensorial display has no edges or beginning or end.

Attention appears to scan, rest and moves again.

No one directs it 

It seems to be a survival mechanism

The brain paints a movie

Of wind and trees and tears and time....

A star is born, a center of the cyclone, around which the rest of the dream swirls.

There is always awake-ness or awareness to the symphony of perception, as there is no separate thing called awareness, or separate thing called perception. 

No silent witness...

This story painted by your brain is a story of longing... you evolved to look for things to help the organism survive.  Procreation and food, warmth... and seek out imaginary things like love and happiness and meaning... 

you are that desire

And the looking for a never arising next

What would you be without it? 

You have tried to get rid of desire 

To get rid of the self 

To stop or slow this incessant thought train

You feel there is a barrier between you 

And this seamlessness... 

But unicity is already always on

It need not and cannot be made anew

You can feel it

Beckoning....

It has called you since the day you learned your name...

It was never forgotten 

It cannot be remembered

This is it just as it seems to appear

This dream within a dream within a dream 

You are a fairytale character 

A dream time story book

And your pages are unfolding 

Dissolving...

 

Without any effort

Life magically appears 

You are the longing for other 

Better 

More 

....next 

And there is none.

And while I slept the moon sang her song

Of reflected light and shadows

Blossoming in forgotten meadows

Delicately highlighting long shimmering  grasses  

Illuminating the dance of night time winds

But this sleep lasted eons

It was a timeless death

I dreamed of endless suns and great winds to pour through me

For that avalanche of hope and fear where I lay buried 

To dissolve

 

But what light erases an imaginary darkness?

And what would be revealed in this dawn?

Could I bear the weight of light?

Of an intimacy I could not imagine?

The avalanche finished its job

And crushed the dreamer 

Erased all light 

And dark 

Burnt all ideas of yesterdays and tomorrows 

And anyone to have them

It was the death

Of anyone to die

This brilliant transparency 

This piercing all encompassing naked light was always lit

I simply had not noticed this obvious beauty

Pouring through me as me 

Weeping

There was no one who slept 

No one who awakened...

To this amazing dream of light and shadow

Of long deep rivers 

And tall mountain pines

Needles shimmering 

Piercing deep blue skies

Catching the last golden rays of sunset

Where we waltz with our shadows on the canyon walls

Enchanted with love’s day dream

As it folds into night

Feathered moon glow soared through me 

Impossible beauty sang my name

Winged sky enveloped me

My heart sank deep into the ground 

Earth swallowed me

Swallowed beauty 

Swallowed light 

Swallowed love

There is no one to return to a home

Of distant memories

No one to be sucked into a void

No one to be everything

No one to be nothing...

No one to be this love of everything

This kiss of windblown sky

That sails across the vastness

And pirouettes into an image of a girl

A woman

A songster 

A poet...

Twirling down the canyon in utter delight

Every word is a love letter

Written with blood

Signed with tears

Painted with rainbows 

Sliding off the mirror

Falling through sky

The thought stream has changed considerably

 before it was a constant self judgment and self correction 

The constant question of how I am I how am I doing what am I feeling what can I do to make it last or what can I do to make it go away

The feeling that I was broken that others were broken that the world was broken...

How I should be 

how others should be 

how the world should be...

Knowing that there is no chooser nor anyone separate having thought or feeling or believe it is always known that right and wrong or made up

Instead there are songs flowing through me 

no one sings them 

no one writes them 

there’s no hand to hold the pen...

And I long to send this jewel to you 

And place it in your heart so you could feel this atemporal love explosion.

If anyone could see this unutterable beauty... 

could feel this majesty of not knowing... 

of no solidity

It would blow their mind so completely that they would think 

“oh I cannot move I cannot do anything”

Totally stupefied

Yet life continues doing itself 

just as it always had done...

It was never done or not done

Exquisite fluted fingers of light

Tendrils of emptiness 

Untied the knots of hope and fear

The ground collapsed

Above and below

Inside and out 

All distance 

All measurement 

All simply beautiful ideas

Like you and me and love 

Winged lace of sky

Flows through sky

Liquid filigree of space

Pours through space... 

I am a roomful of echoes

Without walls

Sourceless light bathes all and everything 

In an infinite even glow

Inside and outside were a dream 

A mirage of edgeless clouds

Never quite forming

Always dissolving 

Of a ballerina 

Twirling in the middle

I was an afterimage

That spun through the looking glass

Crashing the day time dream

Exploding all pictures of love 

Of a home 

And someone to return

There was no one wearing the layers of diaphanous satin and tulle

Or weeping as the costume faded

Into pure unformed brilliance

And no one weeping

When seeing through the dream 

Was recognized 

To be the dream

Never beginning 

Never ending

Always beginning

Always ending

I was the clothes of hope and fear

Wrapped in tomorrow’s sky and dreams of yesterday

A pirouette of love and rainbows

Dancing

Endlessly

How was the fabric of my imaginary existence torn 

Ripped and shredded?

Did I disappear? 

How could what never existed 

Not exist?

How could someone slide down the rainbow 

And fall through the treasure

All was discovered to be the treasure

All colors collapsed

All solidity vanished 

All light disappeared 

All dark 

All day 

All night... 

Midnight 

Crickets sing 

Dawn of the full moon

Weeping at the enormity 

This vast emptiness

This fullness sliding through itself 

This pure silence 

Never heard 

Always heard

All and everything 

And nothing at all 

The beauty 

The beauty 

The beauty

In a timeless arabesque 

Empty of fallen angels 

And all lovers

Lost and found 

The song of no tomorrow 

Called me

All demons and dragons 

Perched on the edge of nowhere

Burnt leftover shadows

...Ashes on the sidewalk

Blew away in the winds of mind

Of sorrow and joy there was no postscript 

No envelope of memory 

To shred

No love letters 

To rip apart a broken heart 

No things to be broken 

No things to mend 

No clocks to follow 

No sunset to chase 

No sunrise...

Rainbows slid across the dam of hope and fear

Washed away all color and light...

Breaking Crystalline wings of light in light 

Waves of sorrow and joy

—-water in water

Reflections of reflections

Shimmering pools of curtain-less eyes

Painting the wind streaming down the canyon 

Painting my lover basking in the afternoon sun

Painting color and beauty 

Painting wonder 

Painting love

Winged ribbons of mirrored sky pierce the sound barrier 

Hidden in the scream of midnight 

Shattering the mirage

Of you 

Laying on your doorstep

Broken

Bleeding

Blood runs into the ground

Bones bleached by hot desert suns

Dissolve into flowing sands 

Scattered by the winds of no tomorrow 

Echoes of wind 

Could never fill this great emptiness

Collapsing into itself...

It was all an enchanting passion play...  

Oasis of wind blown castles 

Dissolving into its own reflection

Wind and light soaring 

Cartwheeling up the canyon

Suspended as edgeless liquidity

A symphony of unbearable beauty 

Flowing through me as me 

The surround sound of love

Backbeat of love

I am after-images of tears that drowned in their own wetness
Stars
That exploded into their own light
Unknowable images race across the back of your eyeballs
Formed into a picture book
With skies and mountains and burning deserts
And melancholy and love that sears...
And seems to paint a lonely traveler
Sliding down a time line
We are fairy tales
Dancing
Slipping through the slipstream of mind

Less tangible than thought
Are the things it creates

This dream of hope and fear that had been with me my entire life

Was never separate from me

Chased me like a hungry dog 

Preceded me along the trail

Those rocks I tried to avoid below 

Those looming boulders above 

Perched on the cliff 

vultures waited patiently 

To greet me

After I was crushed 

By this unavoidable beauty

That untied my hands 

As I was trying to clutch the rainbow

And swallow the colors...

Dreaming of treasure

Longing for love’s embrace

Fearing that I would dissolve in it

I had been dancing with my shadow 

Terrified of the light 

Moon and sun disappeared

All stars were lost...

My leftover map 

Crumpled on the path

Like forgotten flowers 

Wilting in the searing desert heat of no tomorrow 

No signs were left

In that trackless land 

My heart was pierced

My arteries and veins were slashed 

The ground was saturated with blood

Dissolved the very earth 

That sky crashed into

My breath was sucked out

In a vacuum so vast 

It erased itself

This sublime emptiness

A terrible beauty 

That cannot be found 

Or lost

Consumed me 

As I fell into its maw

Losing all hope 

And fear 

And dreams of

Another 

Day 

Or 

Night 

No one lives in this bottomless abyss

This placeless place

No one can leave 

No one can enter 

There are no ways to extinguish light

Or dark

Tumbled up on the beach like a piece of driftwood

Blackened with fire

Bleached with sun

Twisted into the shape of waves

Of sea and sand and shimmering light

Nothing remains 

Nothing was lost

Love drank all and everything

Time lost her shadow

The center of the dream was always empty 

There never was a mountain 

Or path 

Or someone to climb it 

There is a sublime ease 

When no one is sailing uncharted seas

Rocking gently without wind 

Or waves 

Or sails

Or rudder

Or ship

Or distant shore.... 

Sky mirrors sea

Sea mirrors sky

No one is in the middle 

When there are no sides 

wind and tides

carve my breath

in hollow caves

in empty shells

I can hear the song

of no one

of everyone

dream of moon

slides into sea

coming from nowhere

going nowhere

never home

never not home

morning light reaches over the canyon 

spider web catches a tiny white feather 

wind ripples this elegant tracery 

in-breath

out-breath

...and we dance with our shadows on the terrace

of winds

it feels like there is no here nor there...

 just a flowing of color... and shape... never lassoed with words... 

amorphous diaphanous transparent edgeless sourceless reflected light dancing swooning into and through itself... vacant and empty beyond conception... 

and yet full, bursting, exploding and dissolving simultaneously without time or non time, with what I have to call love...

love falling in love with itself...

Vines twist and twine 

Looking for purchase 

To grasp the sun

And sky 

Arc of infinity reaches out

To touch its own

Mystery

Touching my own fingertips 

I wept 

That nothing can be known 

Or grasped 

Is the beauty 

The love 

The wondrousness I longed for...

Looking for a gap between here and there 

The space in-between the in-between was broken...

No one fell

Looking for nowhere 

No one landed

Or wept 

Or walked along the river

Bathed in infinity 

a thousand miles rushed through my heart

infinite footfalls on a journey towards home

had disappeared

the journey itself was home

all is home

when there is no one 

who can enter

or leave

this hush without edges

washed away the line between sorrow and joy

between my heart and yours

washed away time

and its afterimage

all burned

consumed

in love's infinite embrace

this breath this tongue these lips sing

the lyrics of my life

this song paints a flowing image of a someone to have a life...

a singer, and someone to sing to....

you know me as a thought dream in your mind-stream

and you exist as a daydream wandering through mine.

our stories twist and twine together into a sublime chorus 

of one of two of many of none...

I can feel the wind and sun and moonlight in your eyes

all the stories you have longed for and loved

and all the stories you thought were ugly and horrific

I can hear your story as it sails through the sea of dreams

swelling and unfurling and bursting and receding... 

flowing into the edgeless-ness it never left

as does mine...

I can feel your broken hearted beauty

as it is mine

cascades of water

rippling through water

journey of light

can never be captured

time lost its rainbow

all its colors bled 

not even a faded picture remains

time... tomorrow ...yesterday ...now 

simply names

for an old feeling

I can no longer find

there is no center to this dream

no one fell off the edge of nowhere

there are no edges

no one to fall

yet beauty falls into beauty

love swoons into its own embrace

through our arms

our hearts

our lips

that mouth these very words

that seem to capture beauty

seem to hold this love

seem to paint a thing called time

but seems is the key ingredient in this sumptuous meal

that will be over before you're done

first light

finch song

a thousand rivers pour through my heart

a thousand dreams of night

evaporate into the dream of morning

singing itself

just

like 

this

my heart was burning with a wanderlust

for love

for completion

for the sweeping away of cobwebs

from a home I never left

empty trails and distant clouds beckoned

as they dissolved into empty promises 

I dreamed of moons and suns and winds soaring

across sky and sea and the wetness of my tears

seasons passed

always blooming

always wilting

always a weary traveller

hungering for yet another road

looking for a place to rest

I knew not for which I searched

I realized I was the seeking...

I could not find not anything inside

who was moving my feet

or beating this trembling heart

and the avalanche of fear that had buried me alive

and crushed out all the light

when I was very small

finished its job

and I found that there had never been a path

nor a mountain

nor anyone to wander

no tomorrows to promise yet another rainbow

to follow

no yesterdays to sing of a traveler

who wandered

looking for love

love a dream

like you

like me

yet after the journey collapses

the path collapses

the ground collapses

the goal collapses...

such unbearable weight of spaciousness.... 

an unutterable beauty of light exploding into light

space into space

emptiness into emptiness

love into love

just 

like 

this

when the song is over

I am breathless

wordless...

words do not exist

that dissolve sound into silence

and silence into sound

that sing of flowing echoes cascading through echoes

eyes are oceans of endless reflections

of sky pouring into seas

and seas falling through endless skies

there is no stable point from which to view

this life flowing in and through these lips that drink it

as life drinks me

I am the scent of intoxication

this love that has no edges

cannot be found

or lost

there is no thing which can survive this conflagration

of all worlds

of all words

they crash and burn

melt into a river of a thousand suns

evaporate into pure spaciousness

empty of space

empty of emptiness

ancient songs

new songs

whisper love's unsung name

primordial songs

have no words

what can be felt

but not uttered?

you know this all encompassing love song

sometimes its lyrical refrain pierces the cloud of words

that heavy blanket of knowing

and you become the song of tears

the symphony of wonder....

the dance of starlight's reflection on ancient seas

flows through your eyes...

the unfathomable mysterious depths

reach up and grab you

your heart plummets  

down down down 

vast endless skies fall through you

as you fall

up up up

the empty horizon wraps itself around you 

and stretches you until you are so thin

thinner than air, than space, than emptiness itself...

there is no you nor vastness

your heart explodes and implodes

it is no longer yours 

it never was

there is no chest big enough

to hold all this love

there is nothing but this flowing dreamscape

no one to surf it

or drown in it

simply the ache of aliveness

dancing with its reflection

in your star lit eyes

you know there is no solidity 

no place to land

no one to land

no one to free fall

no one to let go

or hold on

what would you hold on to?

everything you try to grasp

is like cool evening sand running through your fingers

like life

like time, an empty shadow

preceding you

following you

unweaving itself

like all ideas 

like you

like me

like that woman on the train

you see weeping

through the window

as the freight train of your life

and anyone to have a life

crash

no one followed or made

the footprints of your life

all lines are made with sand 

in sand....

even these lines and squiggles 

singing this story

of you and me and empty dreamscapes

flowing

willow tree in the wind 

river hears its echo 

who dances on the roof of silence

with the death of time, 

there is no before or after love

hot dusty day

thin piece of wire

bent into a heart

rust on his fingers

I long to send you this song

without words love letters cannot be written

by the sea

the sky

wind pours through the mirage of burning sands

empty sidewalk hums the melody 

of lovers walking

flame of burning shadows

dances on the sidewalk

fueled by the desire to share

the wonder that forms me

into an empty wire heart

breaks into infinite echoes

I pour myself into an envelope

of sky

and ricochet your reflection across the canyon

so you can see your tender delicate beauty

wind soars through its shadow

unfurls its empty wings

time forgot the melody

our footprints disappeared

into the backbeat of love

a million suns exploded

from within

from without

I lost my shadow

as it erased me

I could not retrace my footsteps

or find a place to go

or rest

a bone chilling scream was heard in this dark beyond darkness

a howling for light 

for love

it came from everywhere 

and no where

this is everyone's heart breaking

this is a losing of everything

everyone I loved and had loved

all memory

all tomorrows 

all hope

all fear

all love

this is your ultimate aloneness

more intimate than these words in your head

or your deepest darkest moments

there is no where left to hide

moon howls at its own reflection

and you are just an echo

no one would choose this evisceration

no one can

and it serves no purpose

other than a life of sublime seamless ease

empty of hope and fear and a need of next

loving everyone and everything

knowing that there are no people

nor love

there are rivers of tears

for no reason

an all consuming awe

love beauty joy sorrow merge

and there is no one at the center

of this swirling dream scape

no one weeping

or singing this love song

to you