Echoes of rainbows waltzing in the summer rain

 it is beautiful to cry and cry and cry and 

cry

hot tears

chest heaving 

echoing in the bowels of sorrow

utterly nakedly infinitely intimate

this life has never had any edges

not even that razor’s edge you thought you were walking

catapulting between hope and fear, 

paralyzed with the fear of falling off and the fear of reaching the end…

the time line between birth and death

may collapse

like all imaginary horizons, all lines are mental fiction

your life a beautiful story

like these tears

dissolving into wetness

this never forever wonderment sliding into and through itself, includes all the pain and sorrow and tears and it all feels beautiful beyond measure... somehow it all feels like love

it never feels as if there is solidity involved, rather, it is like tapestries of air beautifully weaving and unweaving themselves

color without substance

or colors

a ballet of exquisite wonder in an edgeless pirouette

without beginning or end or any space in between

the softness of love’s embrace dissolves into itself

and you are lost and found in the arms of love

the passion play that paints itself

pours through our hearts

and seems to create sides

to a vessel called you

but it is pouring through itself

a flowing watercolor dreamscape

melting

 into this very 

kiss

 morning brings a handful of melancholy notes 

intimately familiar and foreign

what is the meaning of the robin song

and sunlight filtering through the tall pecans

this village nestled in the red cliffs

and these long white bones

adrift on the desert sands

who lived here

once

among these ancient songs

reflections dancing across the canyon walls?

who meanders along the river’s edge

never catching a glimpse of her reflection?

I am not an empty shadow

nor a sun filled morning

there is only this morning song

wandering through a bouquet of words

notes hanging in the still air

a pot of geraniums and a sleepy cat

settling into the day

this obvious aliveness 

this symphony of perception 

this sensorial display and its inseparable recognition 

self arises and self erases

simultaneously

there is no pause when the swing reaches is zenith

a place where you could fall off

or take off and soar…

yet there is soaring always

through this dreamscape of space and time

as you are this water ballet of wonder

breath of wind is your breath

wings of sunlight is your winged beauty 

dancing with your reflection on shimmering mountain streams

listening to your voice resounding in deep echoed valleys 

soaring over mountains and valleys

across hot desert wastelands

glancing down and seeing that it is all a mirage

flowing into and through itself

wetness into wetness

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

you are an intoxication

drinking deeply this bottomless cup of wonderment

as it drinks you

I look around and I have no clue as to what I am walking on, walking from, walking towards, or what I am looking at. 

there is no sense that there is a separate someone walking or looking, nor that there are a bunch of things interconnected or joined. 

it feels like a seamless symphony, and not of any thing or things,

not even a symphony of emptiness... 

simply a wondrous aliveness streaming and simultaneously disappearing without ever actually crystallizing into a thing or things, 

nor even nothing at all….

in this fatal embrace of everything and nothing

all things never were

no time nor space

nor clouds racing across endless blue

dolphins jumping and playing and dissolving into sky…

nor this stunning silence of boundless ocean

roaring

love beyond any ideas of love

has swallowed the world of things

and is intoxicated by her own demise

she sings without words or music

is all music

this shock of unbridled aliveness

flows into and through itself

without movement or non movement 

love pours into love

this cannot be found

it is not lost

for it is not separate from the stream of life as it appears

looking for it seems to solidify the dream of things

as well as trying to not look for it

for there is no it

nor you to get it.

words can make you dizzy

spin you around and spit you out..

were you ever?

are you now?

where are the dolphin clouds

 playing in yesterday’s skies?

round and round and round we spin.... 

…we are dreams spinning.... 

twirling in and out and around and through…

everything and nothing at all

wild, ecstatic unowned life that has no sides

pours through you as you pour through it 

this pirouette of wonderment is never near nor far

it is deeply more intimate than your insides

exposed

this naked excruciating love 

reveals all your deepest secrets

to be wind

caressing your beautiful face

drying your tears

dancing in the tree tops

whirling down the canyon

silently settling under the cottonwood trees

leaves

waiting

for autumn

sunlight gleaming in left over puddles

and the roar of the ocean in you chest

this is the death of all tomorrows... and yesterdays.... time spins into the web of all meaninglessness words.... and they are all meaningless… including meaningless… 

words spin us 

spin love into a most wondrous dream song that permeates and saturates all and everything.... 

we are this broken hearted beauty.... everyone... 

you can see it in our eyes

and why would you want a heart with sides?

when there is the belief in separation there is the feeling of separation, and as the imaginary separate persona is that belief, they cannot do or not do anything or nothing about it as they are imaginary. 

there are those who believe in the ground of being or a thing called emptiness from which everything streams 

when this belief is utterly seen through it is known without a doubt that all that seems to appear self arises and simultaneously self erases without time or place or why or who or when or how... 

and it is not known how this is known

there is no concern at all, 

and this is this wondrous unknowing of which we sing.... 

this is the peace that does indeed passeth understanding

there is no never nor eternity

no existence nor non existence 

we are the dance of rainbows when there is no color yet all is color

we are the dance of this and that...

and there is no this nor that nor both nor neither

there are no answers to the question 

what is going on?

you are the question....

that seems to create a thing called

next, when an answer will be found... 

a time or place that is different from what seems to appear.... 

when your question will be answered... 

but there is no other 

better

more or next...

you know that

delicate tenderness of life dances with itself

and may make it feel like there is a you inside this waltz

this pirouette of words

nothing twirling with everything

and everything with nothing…

the taste of softness kisses your lips and tears away the skin of words

flooding the symphony of life with an indelible ungraspable fragrance that melts the colors out of rainbows

earth and sky plummet through your heart

all and everything drown in endless sky

love plunges through love

leaving not even the kiss of nothing

clouds flow through clouds

winds soar through winds

wings of summer bloom in your heart

sky pours through sky

space falls through space

light caresses light

through your eyes your ears your skin your lips your tongue

sound flows through silence

silence through sound

the richness this lushness of this all consuming love

erases all echoes

dissolves all remembering and forgetting 

of a never forever song 

singing of things and non things 

reflections slide through the mirror of time

where no one has ever lived 

or died

you become dizzy with this enchantment of unknowing

you are the kiss in an echo’s dream

you can hear the waters

flowing 

resounding in the empty nautilus of these words

spiraling outwards and inwards simultaneously

lost and found in the mirror of moon glow 

dissolved in waves of floating sky

a lifetime of memories 

a string of pearls

snaps

your life is lost

it was never yours 

gems scattered across the frozen wastelands

stars strewn across the darkest of nights

walking through mountain flowers

shimmering lake reflections

 summer sun

gardens of light and shade

greens and yellows and piercing reds

golden finches hanging on the feeders

song of the mourning dove

echoes in this great aloneness

this is an un-namable beauty 

where joy and sorrow kiss

bits of robin’s eggs on the grass in the dirt on the sidewalk

waiting for an eye

to marvel at the beauty of life

and death

what is the color of wind

it is the softness of feathered sky

the sound of morning wings

light pouring through the new leaves

patternless patterns dancing

flowing without design or meaning

there is no path from birth to death

and no one wandering along these empty beaches

marveling at this unspeakable rapturous beauty

lost and found in the dreamland of love

electric hush of morning

hum of aliveness

breath of words

dissolves in drifting ocean song

symphony of wind ripples

fantasy of light and dark play across the canyon

elegant melodies glide through endless sky

sky slides though sky

wind pours through wind

it is all reflections of reflections

breathing you 

breathing me

singing love into the dream world 

where we find ourselves dancing

falling in love

we are this beauty 

this wondrous of not knowing how

or why

love

breath of moon slides through a silhouette of wind

pirouette of sound brushes your cheek

this is the kiss of life

tasting itself

without any notion of what or how or why

life

and love

seem to bloom and melt into this ecstasy of petals 

slowly 

waltzing

floating 

falling…

colors flowing

rich and full and utterly without substance

you cannot remember this bliss of unknowing 

you cannot forget

or ever know how this is known

this is an ancient song 

deep ocean waves

pouring 

through your heart

flooding the known world

drowning you forever in the tsunami of love

I was the waiting…

the longing… 

to find and to abide in this never forever homeless home

this spaceless space of unknowing

this placeless place….

love

is the ultimate emptiness

and overwhelming fullness

an atemporal embrace

of life and death 

light and dark spinning

imploding

exploding 

in ecstatic wonderment

I am this utter naked

skinless 

centerless

 immeasurable emptiness 

without emptiness

starlight swoops down to swallow her reflection

drowns in endless seas

sky swallows light and dark

 pouring everything and nothing through this empty heart

you can hear it singing

it is everyone’s and no one’s song

neither moving nor still

neither silent nor not…..

without direction

in all directions 

our hearts breathe

together 

melting all illusion of separation

as everything 

and nothing

meet

in love’s 

fatal 

kiss

sitting here cross legged on the couch the refrigerator and humidifier humming and the first traffic in the canyon

there may be light but I cannot see it yet

curtains are closed

husband sleeps

words pour

songs of midnight and stars falling

into 

day

love sings

there is no other shore

no boat is needed

there is no one to transport to where you never left

or began

river

flows
bathing in moon song
and the sublime luxury of unknowing

you are the river’s echo

there is no river

no one can understand that of which I sing

as it cannot be sung of

there is no this

or that

or both or neither

looking for this is an attempt to know it

trying to gather the wind into a book of echoes…

and seems to substantiate the illusion of separation

this will never be found as it is not an it

there are no ‘its’…

there is no next in which this will be found….

there is no other that can be discovered…

there is no better or more to ‘all this’ 

which appears to be all there is…

there is no outside to this

 it can never be found or grasped….

it is super complete in itself and has no lack

…no emptiness

nor fullness

heartbreakingly beautiful 

this sublime hush that is not meaningful nor meaningless

the robin song and my husband making breakfast…

 morning winds sweeping down the canyon 

rushing though the garden

cascades of roses gently waving…. reds and greens flowing in patternless patterns… dancing with their shadows…

un catchable unknowable undeniable…

these fingertips sliding across the keys…

life singing itself and dissolving simultaneously

without time or timelessness

all and everything neither separate nor joined nor one big thing

astonishing!

unbelievable  

 inexplicably all encompassing fullness and completely empty without substance or emptiness, without time or the lack of time

a love song sliding into and through its own words erasing them as the melody spirals through its own notes 

dissolving into this love that has no words or music but is all words, all music, all perception, this symphony of un owned wonderment exploding and imploding in the kiss of never and forever

you are love’s echo

love has no echo

there is no love

there are no echoes

no emptiness 

no fullness

all is empty

all is full

infinitely intimate

spiraling inwards and outwards

there are no lines around you

no one or thing spins the universe into being

it weaves and unravels itself simultaneously

there is no before or next or now

without thought there is no universe

nor you

web of thought spins itself into this dream world 

and we are it’s enchantment 

love, the center less jewel

revolves around itself

effortlessly endlessly out of time and place

and space

rainbows of infinity

 echos streaming

memory paints this pirouette of light and shadow

fills in the colors of sound

and taste

what is the flavor of wind

what is the taste of taste?

nothing can be known but the questions may cease

the needle skips out of the grooves of assumed knowing suddenly

or the record slows down 

and a melody arises 

hauntingly strange and familiar

for you have always heard this song

your heart has never not sung it

longing to hear it

seemed to place you outside of your heart

but you have always been this love song

you know that

this sensuous day dream is untranslatable

all is description

worlds slide through words

soaring rippling thought stream

shimmering reflections 

bathe

in meandering skies

wingtips of air

swirl through space

whirl pooling wonderment

is the shine in our eyes

what is beyond the reach of words

if beyond is a word?

endlessly thought circles itself

collapsing in the middle

where there are no in-betweens 

this empty dream song oscillates and heart strings vibrate

to no one’s tune or words

nothing is tethered in space-less space

they sing us into a worded world

vast, immeasurable, un translatable 

is the wonder of seamless edgeless love

unborn undying elegance streams through this scintillating dream of undeniable ungraspable aliveness

utterly obvious, without substance or the lack there of…

love tenderly ruthlessly eviscerates all ideas of solidity 

and liquidity 

and leaves not even an echo’s kiss in your heart

yet it still beats

the sun still rises

wind continues to dance,

and there are no lines between you and the wind

there never was a place or time for the wind to soar from here to there

there is no here nor there

there is no wind

love kisses you back into this dream of echoes

all is uncaused brilliance in this universe of reflections

love has broken all mirrors and melted the remaining edges

all images slid off the looking glass and dissolved into an emptiness that contains no space or emptiness…

the lines and squiggles of words have been stretched out into an unbroken love song

that sings this dance of light and shadow and colors swirling…

this psychedelic enchantment has tossed you into a pool of echoes

where there is no where

nor how

nor why

this dream spell of wonderment 

without beginning or end or any time at all…

wind soars through you

and you are wind 

dancing

 

such elegant grace 

this simplicity of life 

self arising and self erasing 

a constant consummation of what was never apart

this everlasting kiss of fullness and emptiness

can never happen

is always happening

there is no time or place outside of this kiss

this is a all consuming unknowable love

there is no other

this is as simple as drinking water and knowing it is wet

this makes no logical sense 

it is beyond meaning and non meaning

there are no questions or answers

 all separation is imaginary

wholeness is imaginary 

everywhere 

everything

no where 

no thing

radiant light of unending love

never on 

always on

pure all encompassing infinite brilliance

more intimate than your very breath

closer than this very thought 

streaming shimmering reflections of everything and nothing at all

echoes blossom and fall into the colors of sound

you cannot awaken to this

no one is sleeping

tree tops dance in the wind

how stunning the wetness in your eyes

I was the longing for a homecoming

for a place 

or a feeling 

I vaguely remembered

but this had never been forgotten and can never be found

as it is unknowable

ungraspable

what is the color of love?

why beauty?

you cannot arrive there

you cannot even approach it

there is no there

nor here

it seems to swirl and flow into and through itself

yet all stillness and movement are imaginary

soft as cat’s paws

sharp as tiger claws

love slays you

tears off your head

rips out your heart

and eviscerates all ideas of love

and there is nothing familiar 

yet 

all 

is 

just 

right 

super complete in itself there is no other

there is no next…

 

surround sound of this all encompassing hush flows in and through you

infinite intimate brilliance abounds

this was never lost

merely over looked

flowers blooming on the path to nowhere

lost and found again in the fairytale of love

no hand no heart no mind paints this psychedelic dream show

rainbow dissolves into sky

sky dissolves into colors

falling

softly 

through the words that sing them

leaving a hush without echoes

you will never hear

the mystery for which you long

cannot be known

or unknown

what is energy?

what is love?

what is underneath these words?

what is sky dissolving into sky?

life has no hand holds

you cannot hold on or let go of

this vast endless ocean sliding through endless ocean

vast wide open spaciousness

without space

water

cannot taste its own wetness,

caress its own flowing,

dissolve into itself,

listen to its own shimmering,

dance in its own reflections…

it is all water…

there is no water inside the word

no one knows what water is

all we can sing of are more descriptions…

this obvious aliveness has no other

nor is it one big edgeless 

thing

there are no things underneath the words

even love is simply a word

infinite echoes of infinity

exploding and imploding

without time or space

or any place in-between 

where are yesterdays rainbows?

simply echos in your heart

dissolving into empty sky

there are no directions toward or away

that which has no beginning or end

or any existence or non existence whatsoever

this is the fatal kiss of everything and nothing

all that you have believed to be real and right

and all that you considered to be false

become as meaningless as meaning

the sound of rain on autumn leaves

already fallen

golden notes of a forgotten song

gathered by the wind into the gutters and into piles under the naked tangling roses

a movie you once wanted to attend 

but never did

you may feel the very ground of being collapse

as your heart plunges through the fathomless bottom of emptiness

and explodes through the ceiling of infinity

soaring as waves of ecstatic wonderment 

galaxies spin through you

anointing each star with your beautiful light

sailing through unfathomable unknowingness

without skin or eyes

your heart a liquid mirror

pouring this turvey topsy world inside out

and outside in

unfindable 

untranslatable 

sheer beauty

this wonderland of love

that has always been without time or non time

has swallowed you

you are love’s intoxication

wind breathes me

into the garden

slowly 

softly 

floating through lace of sky 

and leaves

swirling

falling

light and shadow

skim pools of reflections

soaring 

winged light

a distant song in the dream scape

words dissolve into sky

clouds bloom and scatter

dragons and dream ships

unfurl their wings

wind swallows all wind songs

colors bloom and pour

through me

suspended as infinite rainbows 

dissolving into wind

poems caress the strings of memory

you cannot gather the notes

they fall through the stave as soon as they are heard

all falls through the horizon

all lines are imaginary 

you cannot collect starlight

no moon

no wind

no night

dew dissolves

sunsets fade

fluid portraits slide through the walls of memory

dove sings the song of day

crickets fill the night

all is lost before it begins

what is the sound of clouds

dissolving into sky?

losing my place in the spiral of time

dissolving into the utter immediacy of seamless wonder

kiss of fire 

winged light

stars

fall into day

rush of headlights

pour down the street

pool in echos of dawn

jogger splashes through her reflection

mirror of mirage melts the surface

and reveals no depth

nothing dreams

this wonderland of love

a breath a ripple a song of morning

shimmers in your heart

there is no one in there

looking out

there is no one who wears your beautiful face

there appears to be a window of reflections 

separating you from sky

but it is as thick as thought

and as real as your lover in last night’s dream

echoes seem to bloom and

recede

like the tides like the wind

like the silhouette of trees as the sun falls below the horizon

and the magic hour fades…

no one sings from the depths of no tomorrow

yet you can hear her song

it is this breath, this wind rushing down the canyon, this long

summer day

it is the telephone ringing and the voices on the sidewalk and the passers by you cannot see

it is the traffic and the rainbows and the memory of rain

it is as obvious as the wetness of water

the warmth of the sun

and the beauty of love

it is your song

it is this very kiss of never and forever

you cannot hold it

or drink it

echoes of rainbows

waltzing in the summer rain