Love has no home... you cannot enter

Life simply does it self
looking and feeling like anything at all
there’s no source or wholeness or emptiness appearing as this
there’s just this
There is no that


twisted branches lace the sky
it is not broken
joy in sorrow
sorrow in joy

love extends infinitely
it cannot be broken

how beautiful these tears
how wondrous this love
this broken heart was never mine
I am it

I wanted to spiral into myself
and out of myself...
Unwind the back beat of time
Suspecting that this was nowhere
I was crushed under the weight
Of my own aloneness
And found it was everyone’s

There was no god or oneness or love
Or anyone to merge with it
No one sitting on the edge of a rainbow
Weeping


The heart strings of the universe play our love songs
We feel this music deeply
It is us



Peering into the physical world and finding nothing substantial will not necessarily translate into the knowing feeling that there are no things or non things and no one to know that

No one would want this... and I would not ask anyone I know to go through this agony, yet the sublime sheer wonder that is always on was worth every tear...


I live in love as love through love knowing that there is no me nor you nor love



sun sweeps across the cloudy canyon
finches bathe in the last puddle
sailing through reflections of plum blossoms




under the words
there is not even nothing
nothing is a word
like you



autumn wind swept down the canyon
words pierced my heart
heart, a word
like love

longing to find solace
hoping to hold the vowels in my mouth,
to savor the flavor of taste itself...

sparkling canyon stream
a running line of letters
written to no one
pleading for my own return
knowing no one had left
not even a shadow of wind
could toss its head and roar
not one footstep
echoing in the canyon
will lead to tomorrow

the song of the canyon
this imaginary space between echoes
sings
hello I love you

this awake-ness
this aliveness
this awareness of being aware
this obvious wondrousness
that you are
without name or number
lives only in the canyon of love


thought unravels the preceding thought
before is thought
thought is thought
spinning yarns that cannot be found
etch a sketch of sky
in sky



searching the sky for a familiar face
reflections of yesteryear faded into her shadow
vast tides could not contain the sea
nor tall mountains hold the sky....
yet, in the palm of her hand she watched her tears gather
she was simply empty echoes of a song rippling across the vastness



undertow of time sucked out the fear of myself
spinning words across the daydream
my mouth could not hold
we were simply pinpoints in a theatre of dreams
stars exploding and fading in each others light
the black backdrop seemed to hide the light
but nothing was left to erase

no one's hand holds the magic wand
it either taps you on the crown or not
I wept as all the jewels fell into the river
and scrambled down the banks
my heart ripped to shreds
as hope took its last breath
I drowned
and the slits in my heart became gills



Sorrow and joy rushed through me
Pouring me out
Ripping my heart in half
I saw my reflection on the other side of love
And sailed right through it
There were no sides to merge or split apart
No middle ground to hide my face
Life is a constant kiss of sighs
Falling through a song of wind
Hello goodbye hello

infinite wishes
tossed into the fountain
autumn bulbs
breathe the heart of spring
sunset casts its shadow in the heart of the living
bursts into an unquenchable flavor of aliveness
in our mouths
these words
not mine
not yours

can I light your body on fire
to know this preciousness
so you will stop curling up in a ball
fearful of this tsunami of love
waiting for the end
that is always here?

Ocean crashes into itself 

Over and over and over 

Until the very atoms and particles of water dissolve 

Love falls through itself 

Until there is nothing left to grasp 

And no hand or heart to hold it 

blood roars 

distant sound of ocean

child cries 

mother calls

across the sparkling sea

pours the sound of home into your bones

was it a horse I heard 

nuzzling your heart?

longing for more time

trying to pour the day into a glass

watch it sparkle

and drink you

what are you but this longing for life

that lives you

breathes you

pours you into its cup

and watches you sparkle

through your eyes?

What words bring out your nakedness

That you thought you had hidden

In the pocket of that old winter coat

Eaten by mice

Stuffed into the back of a closet

With those old shoes

They have holes in the soles but 

You walked many miles

Danced a thousand suns in them

Kissed the hero

And lost him at dawn

When he cut off his legs and went begging for love

You could not save him

You cannot save yourself 

From love

no one can speak this language

it slides into the cracks of the earth

parches your mouth

dust devils in the desert

waiting for the rain

saturated with a longing 

to weep

I love you sings silently

loud and clear

I hear your heart

all hearts

beautifully broken on the hem of desire

every moment a pin prick

the needle of time cannot mend

and who would want to become a stone

a brick wall

blocking out the sky?

tears dissolve the mortar

and light and love flood you

and wash you away

no one goes anywhere

or no where

its just reflections shimmering

on this lake of flight

memory kisses itself

creating an imaginary island of solidity

but there is no one sailing this boat

no wings or sails to unfurl

and catch the sunset

no wheel spins...

no anchor to fall into the fathomless depths

and find no ground to land on

and you are death clutching your purse

pacing the hallway

glancing in all the doors

everyone looks like you

backlit by the curtained window

waiting 

"no one dies" they kept telling her

and she wanted to believe them

but she was scared

they were young

and had never loved

and lost love

we spoke often those last two years

we laughed

and wept and wept and wept

I miss her

I am this story of a ballerina walking a tight rope

between birth and death

twirling a beautiful umbrella 

who fell off 

floating on my own breath...

my songs sing me to sleep at night

and kiss me awake in the morning

outside of this story 

of you 

of me

of we

I do not exist

the song extends indefinitely 

it has no end nor beginning

it has no movement

it is not still

yet the dancer will reach the end one day

I am ripples of memory

twirling

I looked at my slim shoulders

and the unwound gear of spine

protruding from my back

covered with a thin layer of flesh

and wondered how I would ever fly

without wings

without feathers...

but it is the very inability to fly 

this beautiful broken heart

that creates the soaring

this softness

the wetness of these eyes

can erase the imaginary lines

between me and you

and we soar into each others hearts and see our reflection

and drown in our own loveliness 

a water ballet of sky

in sky

awakening feels like losing your mind... 

and it is terrifying... 

and as you are a product of the mind stream and the thought stream creates the known or fabricated world,

it is like losing all that you know including the idea of a know-er...

it feels like you are dying...

that your world is dying...

that time is dying... 

and for the very few who fall all the way.... 

there is not even nothing left